Crossdresser?

[asiangurliee]

I refuse to call myself a cross dresser although I have never been on hormones except herbal hormones and I am not ready or might never be ready to be castrated. I feel that having children is important to me. I would love to take a low level of hormones to look more feminine, I do not like being a male at all. I feel that cross dressing is the term used for people who cross gender, but I am not crossing gender when I wear female clothes. I don't "cross dress" occasionally, I like to be in female clothing all the time and no , it does not give me erotic feelings. However, being a female does play a part in my sexuality and I am attracted to men only. Does that make me a homosexual? Maybe but I really don't see myself as one. Am I a gender queer? Maybe but I feel that my gender is female, I just don't want to lose my ability to have children. I might be selfish but I just don't think I am a crossdresser and I will never consider myself as one. Does anyone here feel the same way? I like to hear anyone's response.

[Merope]

hi asiangurliee,
If you don't feel that you are a crossdresser then you probably arn't    You read the posts here and you soon realise that there are just about an infinity of classifications (if indeed classifications is the right term).  Reading what you have posted and I think, gee, that is so like me - and noo, thats not me at all. Just goes to show everyone is individual and should pursue their own destinies.
My situation was that for a while casteration was a distinct possibility for me.  Reading all I could on the subject I could even see positives, and was resigned (actually more upbeat than that - I could see real possibilities for being Merope IRL)
The necessity for an orchidectomy has passed, my feelings were a bit confused on this and it seems actually I am relieved - why?  well it seems that you lose those goolies and among the good effects is that you are a lot calmer but why?   I would prefer passion in my life, what I need is control.
I would be interested in the feelings of people here who have had that operation, how has it really left you feeling?  Somthing emotionally taken away, or a disruptive influence cancelled?
We were talking in chat about what was our destinations - and it seems to me that what I really wanted to be was not a woman - but an angel.  You know the ones, beautiful as any woman like those Botecelli paintings- but put a fiery sword in the hand and a slightly different expression in the eyes and you have a completely different type of being.   So go figure,  I guess I always can dream

[Melissa]

Welcome to Susans Asiangurliee,

If the only reason you don't want to do that is to be able to have children, you do have the option of making a deposit in a sperm bank beforehand.  However, if there are other reasons, that's fine too.  Take a look around and have fun here.

Melissa

[Annie Social]

Asiangurliee...

I think you'll find you have a lot of company, being somewhere in between all those labels people seem to love so much. Just remember that we are all different, that there are probably very few of us who fit neatly into one of their boxes.

By the way, if your sole objection to hormones is that you want to retain the ability to have children, remember that you have the option of banking sperm. I've read of a number of people doing this before transitioning, in the hopes that down the road they may meet the right person and want to start a family. You might also look into the effects of taking estrogen and progesterone without a T-blocker. Ask your doctor.

Merope, I haven't had an orchie yet, but I am on a fairly strong dosage of Spiro. My understanding is that the effects are pretty comparable.

I certainly have no lack of passion; in some ways my libido has actually increased. What has changed is that I no longer feel controlled by testosterone. I control my sexuality, rather than being a slave to my reactions.

It's a nice feeling!

Annie

[Melissa]

I certainly have no lack of passion; in some ways my libido has actually increased. What has changed is that I no longer feel controlled by testosterone. I control my sexuality, rather than being a slave to my reactions.

That's a really good way of putting it. 

Melissa

[asiangurliee]

Thank for the response, girl. Do you guys know what is the success rate of in - vito? I heard its very low.

[Annie Social]

Asiangurlee, I don't know the actual numbers, but you have to keep in mind that they are skewed because most in vitro fertilization is done because there was a problem conceiving naturally in the first place. Also banking sperm does not necessarily mean in vitro fertilization; artificial insemination has a higher success rate, especially when there are no fertility issues, and is much cheaper as well.

I can't find mumbers for humans, but from what I have found online, artificial insemination of animals (which is commonly done without there being any fertility problems) has a success rate between 60 and 90 percent.

Annie

[gina_taylor]

Hi Asiangurliee,

I agree with you 100% that I refuse to call myself a cross dresser as well. I was just reading in a book called "CROSSINGS"  and the author, who is a fully transitioned transsexual, clearly stated that the proper English term for a transsexual is crossing, since like you said we are crossing the gender boundaries.

I see absolutely no problem with you wearing feminine clothes all the time. If you feel comfortable in them, why change? Clothes are just an outward expression.

If you used your cross-dressing to achieve erotic feelings, then you would be labeled as a ->-bleeped-<-. I feel 100% the same way that you do in terms that I am attracted to men, but I don't consider myself to be a homosexual.

Gina 

[asiangurliee]

Hi Asiangurliee,

I agree with you 100% that I refuse to call myself a cross dresser as well. I was just reading in a book called "CROSSINGS"  and the author, who is a fully transitioned transsexual, clearly stated that the proper English term for a transsexual is crossing, since like you said we are crossing the gender boundaries.

I see absolutely no problem with you wearing feminine clothes all the time. If you feel comfortable in them, why change? Clothes are just an outward expression.

If you used your cross-dressing to achieve erotic feelings, then you would be labeled as a ->-bleeped-<-. I feel 100% the same way that you do in terms that I am attracted to men, but I don't consider myself to be a homosexual.

Gina 

Its nice to know that there are other who feel the same way as I do. Make no mistake about it, if i was given a choice at birth, I would be a girl. I dont know. Labels fail me.

Love
Casey


Posted at: May 29, 2006, 05:02:30 PM

Asiangurlee, I don't know the actual numbers, but you have to keep in mind that they are skewed because most in vitro fertilization is done because there was a problem conceiving naturally in the first place. Also banking sperm does not necessarily mean in vitro fertilization; artificial insemination has a higher success rate, especially when there are no fertility issues, and is much cheaper as well.

I can't find mumbers for humans, but from what I have found online, artificial insemination of animals (which is commonly done without there being any fertility problems) has a success rate between 60 and 90 percent.

Annie

That's wonderful news. I haven't thought about artifical insemination.

[gina_taylor]

Unfortuantely, we are all lumped into the same group in a sense. The outside world doesn't understand us, and that is why they come up with labels for us. I try to look past them and just try to be myself, which is a transsexual woman.  Unfortunately we don't have much choice at birth on what kind of gender we'll be, but at least we can correct it. 

Gina 

[Kate Thomas]

Gina
We come up with a lot of lables for ourselfs

they come up with labels for us

my current one is "questioning". it offers the flexability that i need at this point. LOL

Add the lables that they come up with and you have a regular alphabet soup.

KateAlice

[asiangurliee]

why does one need to transition physically to be a female anyways? One's gender is not defined by one's sex?

[Kimberly]

... One's gender is not defined by one's sex?

Very definitely it is not.

why does one need to transition physically to be a female anyways? ...

I change the body so that it is more in line with what I think it should be. I am around 7months into the process(HRT) and I have never been happier with my body, if that tells you anything.

For me, changing the body is and was a necessity, it is NOT a necessity for every transsexual however.

[Marlene]

OMG castrated...I hate the word...is it just me or there´s something about this word that makes it sound like punishment ?
May be one day I´ll get there...I´ll probably call it relief.


Good point too, Kimberly 

[Chynna]

why does one need to transition physically to be a female anyways? One's gender is not defined by one's sex?

So true spoken like a truly educated woman! you sure your only 28?
I try not to label myself or others.
Do I Consider myself a CD?
NO & Yes, I see it as a stage in my development when I was in denial but still had to express the true me.
So was I A CD?
Sure, if I had to describe that period in time not so much a label but suming up the situation in a word
Am I now?
Nope...Well when i steal my boyfriends boxers maybe!?

Crossdressing to Success
Chynna

[asiangurliee]

Um hon, i am 22! okay i am turnning 23 in 2 weeks.

[Chynna]

Sorry for the mistake sweetie
You might find this statment interesting,

I am a Pre-op TS and have no desire for SRS. Being a TS is what makes me who I am and I wouldn't trade that for anything. My best friend taught me that being a REAL WOMAN is based on your actions & demenor... not on whats between your legs! And I thank her everyday for that lesson. For that means to me that I am everything I feel I am & should be inside & out.

One path to knowing herself
Chynna

[gina_taylor]

I agree with what Kimberly said:For me, changing the body is and was a necessity, it is NOT a necessity for every transsexual however. Right now I'm not 100% sure that psychically changing my body will make me any happier than I am right now. I am right now seriously thinking about transitioning without psychically changing my body. And I don't feel that there is anything wrong with that.

I agree with what Chynna said that I too feel that I am everything I am inside and out. By wearing the proper clothes, I feel so much more intune with the way my mind sees myself. Cross-dressing to me is just crossing the boundary lines of gender.

Gina 

[Melissa]

I am right now seriously thinking about transitioning without psychically changing my body. And I don't feel that there is anything wrong with that.

Absolutely!  There is nothing wrong with that.  The less you change your body, the more money you save, and the easier it is to go back to your previous role if you chose to do so.  Also, you could go fulltime sooner if you didn't change your body.  I personally have always wanted a female body and changing it is because I want to, not just for living in the new role.

Melissa

[gina_taylor]

Thanks for understanding Melissa. You're absolutely right there too about the  less that I change my body, is the more money that I save. But once I become a woman, I really don't think that I'd ever want to go back to living as a man.    By going this way, it definately would be time consuming. Wouldn't have to wait for my breast development to set in and so forth. Living in a new role was never a thought on my mind. It's just that I am a transgender and this is the best way that I can be true to myself. 

Gina