Coming Out

[sneakersjay]

I'm contemplating coming out.  First, my family.  Second, a few close personal friends.  Last will be work and only after T and legal name change.

How did you do it?

I'm a very VERY private person, but this very personal decision has very public consequences. I think my family and friends will be okay.  Work scares me, though less so than I spoke with a really cool guy who actually educates corporations about GID and trans issues.

Still scared.

you?

Jay

[Kate]

I'm contemplating coming out.  First, my family.  Second, a few close personal friends.  Last will be work and only after T and legal name change.

How did you do it?

I told friends first... to have their support for what was to follow.

I waited until the HRT changes started to become obvious (which was my plan all along), then asked each of my company's corporate officers for a private meeting. I met with them one by one, and told them of my plans, what to expect, and asked for their help and guidance for how to best handle things within the office. They had me wait a few months before telling the employees.

I told my parents a few days later.

I didn't legallly change my name until about 10 months later, as my plan was to just adapt to the changes from HRT as I moved along. When the changes were obvious (though not yet passing), I came out to people. When people started seeing me as a female, I committed to being fulltime and started the name change process. I didn't really tell neighbors and such until I started passing and going by "Kate" after around 7-8 months HRT.

~Kate~

[Jay]

I aswell told my friends first then my parents & sister I am not telling work as I have changed my name and some of them call me by it but most of them take the point in not doing so as well as my family. I will change my job as soon as I have started T and the effects have started showing.

My partner already knew so there was no need in actually telling her!

Its hard it truely is. As you never know what they are going to say or think..

But I wish you all the best Jay!

[Case]

I actually just told my best friend about it yesterday.

Shes amazing and took it like it was nothing and completely fine with it.

Shes awesome, I love her

She was like, "I am bi - do you really think that was going to bother me?" lol

[Buffy]

I stood up in front of 450 people at a works meeting and told them....that was kinda tough, but got it over in one go.

I left that afternoon and came back a month later with name changed and FFS, Full time.

I told friends individually, hardest part of all the coming out was to my Children. 8 years ago now and havent seen them since.

Buffy

[buttercup]

I stood up in front of 450 people at a works meeting and told them....that was kinda tough, but got it over in one go.

I left that afternoon and came back a month later with name changed and FFS, Full time.

I told friends individually, hardest part of all the coming out was to my Children. 8 years ago now and havent seen them since.
Buffy

that is so sad Buffy, I am sorry that has happened to you. 

[sneakersjay]

Buffy, how old were your kids?  My kids are younger (almost tween and young teen) and they've been raised to be pretty open and tolerant, even though I've lived as a straight woman and we haven't been involved in the lgbt community.  I'm fairly sure they'll be accepting, heck I've hinted around a lot with them.  We do have a very close, open relationship.

Sorry about your kids.

I'm not close with my family, and I'm already coming to terms with issues with them, so if they don't speak to me, well I don't speak to them hardly anyway.

Work will be hard only because it's so public.  I've thought about waiting till I change jobs, but that might be a while and I don't think I can wait that long.

Jay

[Berliegh]

Coming Out

I imagine coming out is difficult and I'm glad I didn't go through that coming out process of going from one gender extreme to the other. My life has always been pretty much on the same level throughout ......and it must be hard on those who have partners or wives who might have thought their husband or boyfriend was straight..

[Alyssa M.]

I'd say come out to friends first, family later. I guess it might sound a little harsh, but family members tend to have lots of emotional investment in who they think you are, in a way that friends just don't. This is true regardless how loving or how dysfunctional a family might be.