A milestone, a thanks, an apology

[Just Mandy]

I just noticed this will be my 500th post at susan's,

I'm feeling a little giddy today,

Not sure why,

I can't stop writing in this format,

So please bear with me,

I'm happy to be alive,

I'm happy to be me,

But hitting 500 at susans is a real milestone for me,

It's more than just a number,

I guess in some ways it's like a car rolling over 100,000 miles,

Or your IRA reaching a certain number,

Or your mortgage dropping below a specfic amount,

Or reaching a certain age,

But it's more than that,

I feel apart,

I feel a connection with you all,

I don't know many of you very well,

But you are like my sisters,

Sometimes sisters fight,

I'm sorry for that,

I really am,

But since starting HRT I NEED to say what's on my mind,

I never did that before,

It was locked up inside,

I was afraid to show the real me,

I never posted on other sites,

All I felt was buried,

All I did was censored,

It was horrible really,

Long dark emotionless years,

But now I feel free to be myself,

To cry,

To yell,

To laugh,

To say what I think,

I try to temper that,

Sometimes I fail,

And for that I'm sorry,

I want to be a good friend,

I want to be a good person,

But the important thing is,

I love you all,

Thanks for being here for me,

I need you all,

I'm crying now,

Not sure why,

I'm really happy,

But that's the way it is,

I feel things now,

I feel happiness,

I feel life,

I feel emotion,

I feel like myself,

It's the first time ever really,

So please forgive me,

And thank you,

For everything you give me,

For everything you teach me,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart

Amanda

[Laura91]

awwwwwww 

[lady amarant]

awwwwwww 

I'll echo that sentiment.

Amanda, you ask great questions, you give top advice (especially on make-up;) ) and you are a great person to just have around. You are witty and wise, wide-eyed and wonderful, and I love ya too!

~Simone.

[Just Mandy]

Thank you Simone, you're the cat's meow

[Nero]

I enjoy you, Amanda. I like a woman who speaks her mind.

[Just Mandy]

I enjoy you, Amanda. I like a woman who speaks her mind.

Thanks Nero... as I said in another thread... you rock

Amanda

[Suzy]

Amanda, just wait until you reach 1,000 posts.    

I've noticed you become more and more verbal.  That is good for you, honey.  Lots of things have been bottled up for so long.  Don't apologize to everyone for that.  We've all been through that.  I see you asking good questions as someone who really wants to know.  We all benefit from those discussions.  And yes, HRT really does loosen things up for you.

Congrats on a great milestone. 

Kristi

[Nero]

I enjoy you, Amanda. I like a woman who speaks her mind.

Thanks Nero... as I said in another thread... you rock

Amanda

Thanks. 

[Lori]

  And yes, HRT really does loosen things up for you.
Kristi

Yes its like a cheap wine.

Keep going Amanda...I love your posts.

[Just Mandy]

Amanda, just wait until you reach 1,000 posts. I've noticed you become more and more verbal.  That is good for you, honey.  Lots of things have been bottled up for so long.  Don't apologize to everyone for that.  We've all been through that.  I see you asking good questions as someone who really wants to know.  We all benefit from those discussions.  And yes, HRT really does loosen things up for you.

Lets see a thousand... that will be next month at this rate, LOL... yes I have found my voice so to speak, the longer
I'm on HRT the more it seems to build...and spew out. I think I'm so much more comforable with myself, I never could
discuss guy things because I could not relate to many issues... I feel like all this stuff is innate. Thanks Kristi

Keep going Amanda...I love your posts.

Thanks Lori

[NicholeW.]

Amanda, you speak what's on your mind. And you ask what's on your mind. I've never recalled you being rude or outta-line at all.

Congrats on your 500th.

Hugs,

Nichole

[Case]

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *hugs/kisses*  Way to go Amanda!! KEEP IT UP!!! I love reading your topics the most.

[Just Mandy]

Thanks Nicole

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *hugs/kisses*   Way to go Amanda!! KEEP IT UP!!! I love reading your topics the most.

LOL... thank you too Chelsea... I'll try to keep it interesting

Amanda

[Alex]

I haven't been around long but your posts are always inspiring

[lady amarant]

Thank you Simone, you're the cat's meow

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

~Simone.

[Lisbeth]

Rrrrrau. *washes behind your ear*

[Just Mandy]

I haven't been around long but your posts are always inspiring

Thanks Alex... lol... I just speak from the heart... too much sometimes

Here kitty kitty... good kitty Simone   But I'm not changing your catbox... LOL.

Amanda

[Moira Midnigh]

Here kitty kitty... good kitty Simone   But I'm not changing your catbox... LOL.

Me neither! *backs away, making strange signs with her hands while chanting in several occult languages at once*

Congrats on the 500-and-some posts now, Amanda! I haven't been around for long either, but what I have seen of you have been worth of nothing but praise. I've yet to be offended by you, and I hope we'll stay that way.

I'm glad you're able to let out all of these words now. I think we all know what it's like when you have so many things to say, you just don't know where to start. And once you do get started, it's really hard to stop again. It just feels so good letting all of your thoughts out in the open, don't it?

I'll definitely have to read a few of those aforementioned make-up tips, hmm...

Better restrain myself before I turn this post into a smaller novel...yarr...fight the words! Don't let anyone out!


~Moi

[Just Mandy]

Congrats on the 500-and-some posts now, Amanda! I haven't been around for long either, but what I have seen of you have been worth of nothing but praise. I've yet to be offended by you, and I hope we'll stay that way.

Thank you Moi... if I have'nt offended you yet I think you're safe

It just feels so good letting all of your thoughts out in the open, don't it?

Yes... very much so... it feels good to be myself... for a change

Amanda