Children

[Elincubus]

Well, what does having children, having a family mean to you? Do you want to have kids in the future (if it's possible somehow) or is this no issue at all for you? I know some F2Ms here have already given birth and we sure all have heard about Thomas Beatie.

This is a big issue for me at the moment because, well, I always loved children and the possibility to have my own children even if I would never met the right person to have a familiy (yes, I was a quite pessimistic kid ) was the only thing I ever liked about being a biological female.
It's the only thing that really scares me about transitioning, even though I feel really discontent with my situation and have the distinct feeling that transitioning is the right thing to me.
Do not misunterstand me, I don't really care if "my" children would be genetically related to me or something, but adoption, for example, is very complicated.

[Nero]

I could never give birth to a child. It's just not in me.
Being a stepfather has filled my dreams for the longest. If I loved the lady, I could love her children.

[Elincubus]

I could never give birth to a child. It's just not in me.
Being a stepfather has filled my dreams for the longest. If I loved the lady, I could love her children.

I think I could give birth if it was necessary. Being a stepfather would be great, I agree to that, the only problem for me is that nobody knows if I would ever meet that lady and I really want to have kids one day...

[jet3]

After I get out of school and my fiance and i get married we are def. going to have kids together. I wont give birth myself, because its not for me lol but my fiance is beyond ready to have our kids. We are going to most likely do invetro fertilisation for at least one of our kids maybe all of them, depending on the money situation. If we can't afford invetro right away my brother is going to donate for us, so the baby will still have my blood line and will still look like me. But i would love to have kids sometime in the near future.
Jet

[Scratchy Wilson]

Kids are great, but the idea of actually raising one terrifies me. My girlfriend wants to have babies, infact, she wants to have a kid really bad. A kid is just a lot of commitment and sacrifice and I'm not ready for that ya know? Maybe in the distant future I will be, and if so I think I'd like to adopt. There are already a bunch of abandoned kids out there that need love, they deserve a good family life too.

[sneakersjay]

I've already had my kids and they're the best thing I ever done.  Even if I hated being a woman, that was the one thing I'd never change.  Almost (*ALMOST!) made years of periods worth it.

Jay

[Christo]

I got many nephews & nieces already.  They're more then enough.  So I dont wanna have any kids but u never know.  Maybe we can adopt in the future. Dunno yet.

[Jamie-o]

I like kids, but I can't stand babies, so I think I'd like to either be a step dad, or adopt an older child.

[Jay]

Im not bothered about having my own child. However I would love to be dad, however the kids dont need to be mine for me to love them!

[Snowdoggy]

I moved into a ready made family with my current girlfriend. Her son was 10 and daughter 13. It's been quite a rollercoaster of ups and downs but I am happy in the long run. We were both worried about bullying at school but both assure us there was no bullying in realtion to me being an ftm (although to be honest I don't think most of the kids knew).

I lived with a man for 12 years and did want to have children of my own but the dysphoria and both of us working combined with lack of money (i.e. one of us would have had to give up work as we wanted one of us to be stay-at-home parent) dictated otherwise. I was offered the opportunity to have my eggs frozen before I started T in case we wanted to have babies in the future, so ni the future my eggs can be implanted in my partners womb but opted not to do it. Got a lot of ops and poking and prodding to go through in the future and because of family and someone I work with, I know what is involved in egg removal, also my partner says she feels too old to go through it all again.

I think if there is any possibilty or real urge to have children in an ftm it is better to do it while still young and obviously before starting T, not like Thomas Beattie.

My partners children treat me fully as a stepdad and overall it has been a wonderful experience to raise these children through their tough teenage years. My stepson is now 15 and stepdaughter had her 18th birthday party last weekend (with the natural father and his new wife present) and we all had a great night.

[Andrew]

Whatever method I choose to have them by, I definitely HAVE to have kids. That's kind of a life requirement for me. Babies. Lots and lots of babies. I can't wait ;-)

[samanthawhalen]

Kids are great, but the idea of actually raising one terrifies me. My girlfriend wants to have babies, infact, she wants to have a kid really bad. A kid is just a lot of commitment and sacrifice and I'm not ready for that ya know? Maybe in the distant future I will be, and if so I think I'd like to adopt. There are already a bunch of abandoned kids out there that need love, they deserve a good family life too.

If you truely love your children, and love being with them, they are not a commitment or a sacrifice.  Commitment is work.  Sacrifice is giving away something that you don't want to give away.  I have a 23 month old son and he is my bestest little buddy in the whole wide world.  I don't look at changing his diapers, setting his boundaries, constantly worrying about whether he is going to fall off the porch, or not having a lot of time to do things <I> want to do.  I look at all this as bringing my little buddy up in the world, and that with each passing day he will get to do more and more things that <I> like to do   Don't mean to sound like an ass, but before I became a father I really wondered about all the same things you are wondering about, and I wouldn't change a thing .... even though I would like to at least live part-time as a woman.

Aeron

[sneakersjay]

If you truely love your children, and love being with them, they are not a commitment or a sacrifice.

Exactly.  I enjoy my kids so much.  I stayed home with them when they were little and avoided day care.  I purposely became self-employed so I'd have the flexibility to be with them when necessary.  And they're homeschooled, so they're home all day with me.  Wouldn't have it any other way!

Jay

(clarification: we don't really stay home all day, but you get the idea!)

[tekla]

Personal commitment, interaction dominated by obligations. These obligations may be mutual, or self-imposed, or explicitly stated, or may not.

Self-sacrifice, the act of deliberately following a course of action in order to achieve a perceived benefit for certain others.  Self-sacrifice may also be more broadly defined as selflessness.


I would think those both fit to some degree.  There is little doubt that a high degree of obligation and selflessness tends be emulated by the better parents. 

[Andrew]

There exists a picture of my mom dancing barefoot outside in the snow shortly after I was born.

[James-Alen]

First thing, Elincubus, you are very attractive XD sorry i jsut COULD not help myself. Second, having children isnt a huge concern for me at the moment (but who knows how i'll feel when i get a bit older). I could likely not bring myself to bare children, but I would like to adopt a son... the idea of them begin connected to me by blood is not as important in my book as being connected in general. I wanna help some poor kid somewhere.

[ConfusedMichelle]

Not only could I give birth to children, but I absolutely hate them. 

I decided that if I ever had a kid, I would adopt an 18 year old lol

[Osiris]

Not only could I give birth to children, but I absolutely hate them. 

I decided that if I ever had a kid, I would adopt an 18 year old lol

I have a friend who feels the same way.

I'd like to be a father some day. And I would like for my wife to carry the child rather than adoption. I don't necessarily need to be biologically related though if we could try using my eggs (they might as well be good for something). It also depends on the financial situation at the time. But the main thing is I would like to experience the entire process with her.

[tekla]

I decided that if I ever had a kid, I would adopt an 18 year old

Good idea, skip the fun stuff, get right to the massive payment for their college tuition.

[Elincubus]

First thing, Elincubus, you are very attractive XD sorry i jsut COULD not help myself. Second, having children isnt a huge concern for me at the moment (but who knows how i'll feel when i get a bit older). I could likely not bring myself to bare children, but I would like to adopt a son... the idea of them begin connected to me by blood is not as important in my book as being connected in general. I wanna help some poor kid somewhere.

Lol  thank you, now I'm flattered 

I agree with you about the blood connection thing, it's not that important to me either.

I think the reason this bugs me so is that I can't change my gender legitimately or even get a male name without hysto, but I don't want hysto at the moment, but rather wait how everything turns out--I mean I'm only 18 yet, but on the other hand I can't see me living as female the next couple of years...
It's just that the ability to have children is such a huge potantial and possibility that I don't really want to toss it away like that, even though I don't really want to be the one that bears the child...
I hope that makes sense somehow because to be honest, I feel rather confused myself