Brady,are you on testosterone? If not then 115 isn't the end of the world but you shouldn't go further. My concerns are because you clearly don't need to lose weight but think you do. That and the concerns of those around you are pretty big red flags. I am not qualified to diagnosis you nor is anyone on this board which is why I want you to go and talk honestly to a therapist, doctor, teacher or parent. The problem with distorted body image isn't something to deal with by yourself or online even if you are living a healthier life you can still need help dealing with body image.
IF you want to be healthy the route is simple, easy and cheap. You may have to change how you think though. The number one thing is to get rid of the scale and measuring tape. You will need a mat, blanket or towel to lie on and a large balance ball to sit on.
First change in life; give up chairs. Start sitting on the ball with proper posture whenever you are sitting in the house. You will have great balance and core strength.
Second every morning and before dinner do as many push/sit/chin ups as you can. Make it a goal to push yourself for one more. Then have a shower and get dressed.
Third, whenever possible take the harder route. If there are stairs take them and the bus drops you off a few stops away. When you are bored do push ups off a wall, chin ups on a tree or push yourself up on counters. In other words be active in your life.
Fourth, go for a walk after every meal, even if it is only five minutes.
Fifth, maintain good posture while walking, sitting or standing. Try to always keep your abs engaged.
Sixth, go to sleep and sleep properly.
Snack on veggeies and fruit, your mother was right all these years. Eat a breakfast of fruit, whole grains like wheat, oats, teff, buckwheat etc; fruit and yogurt. Have some nuts, beans, greens and yogurt at least twice a day. Meat once a day. Seeds can account for 70% of calories but no more. Only whole seeds and choose different ones. Use skim milk products. Bag lunches and snacks are healthy, enviromentally friendly and if you are saving for surgery will really make a difference. If you want calories info give your details and I will tell you.
I have to force myself to eat so I figured I might as well force myself to eat right. I eat a calorie restriction(CR) diet that means I eat my basic metobolic requirement (BMR) plus according to activity. I do the same for my dog. The goal is to have energy, be fit and not be tired. CR is about being fit, exceeding our vitamin needs through food, having the energy to do what we want with the least calories. It requires thought about what you eat but it allows for the occasionally splurge. Many studies have shown that CR extends life expectency and provides a healthier life. My own experience has agreed with the healthier life (apart from smoking). Diet however is only half the coin the other is excerise and can't be avoided. For you off the top of my head I would say 1400 BMR and 400- 1000 for energy for studies, excesize and healing/ growing.
FTMs who are pre testosterone should place themselves in women's standards and post testosterone in men's. Don't use BMI it is a bad standard. Instead use the military standard because it looks at height, frame and sex; it also assumes a fit condition. Your goal is toned and strong muscles, good functional strength and balance. You need to love your body to do this. This is life baby you just got to live.
I often get asked how I keep my dog in such good shape. I tell them what I was told many years ago. If he needs more I give him more, if he needs less I give him less.
->-bleeped-<-boy who is going to bed and is very sorry for spelling or other errors right now...