So I've had a pretty rough time recently. My mom has been going through some sever depression since october when she flat-lined for a couple minutes and came back to life.
So the other day she comes home and is in another terrible mood... and a couple of her best friends were there..
Long story short, she tried to kill herself right then and there when she went to the bathroom and we got all the meds she wass going to take away... That night she was taken by the cops to the ER and then to basically an asylum, only maybe a step up.
She was there for a few days and visiting just depressed me to hell. She was the perfect parent in my opinion before all this, and then she goes and tries to kill herself and then starts taking a bunch out on me. It tore me apart, and i cried pretty hard on the drive home talking to my girlfriend (Another difficult factor, with her living a pretty good distance from me.)
To top that off, it just so happened at a time when I had no money or anything, barely enough to get home, let alone food or gas... People at work didn't care what was going on, its always about the money, so i couldnt even leave and do what i needed to do during the time she was in the psych hospital.
Then some doctors put her on some sort of anti-depression concoction of meds... the first day she was on the she walked around running into walls.
She came home the other day and right off walked in the door still in a terrible mood. She doesnt remember how to do anything now.. It's like she's gone senile a few decades before her time. I have to find her keys (not that she should be driving), her wallet, her purse, her shoes, her phone... She was going to the store iwth my aunt the other day who parked in the drive next to my car, and my mom just goes out and gets into my car (not at all by habit, because i dont drive her anywhere hardly.) and just stuff like that.. its terribly depressing
So my own depression is being worsened by hers, because she's one of the VERY few people in my life that even matter to me... And this is all after having to help my nearly-suicidal girlfriend be ok for months before this.
I dunno.. basically just a whole chain of events in my life that happened to occur at the same time.
And for some reason, when i get depressed, i think more and more about what life would have been like should i have been borne a girl (which is pretty much my #1 wish... or dream that will never happen) which depresses me more because im not, and will never have a genetic feminine body....