I've been looking into the possibility of attending a support group for transgendered people. I've found some groups that meet in my city, but I'm uncertain how to proceed.
On one hand I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I don't talk to someone about this, find a place I can be out and maybe try dressing to pass. On the other hand I?m aware that this is a precious safe space for a desperately embattled group, and I'm not sure I have any right to be there.
I'm androgyne, rather than TS. Although I'd like to masculinise my body and find living as my assigned gender (female) increasingly untenable and I'm crossdressing as male more and more in private, I'm never going to transition to male. Will the people there who are struggling with a real transition find this insulting? Will I even exist for them?
Also, there's my age and background. I'm 34. I'm not some little high-school kid who's never had an opportunity to explore hir gender, or someone with serious ties to hir assigned gender. I've always known what I was but until recently I've hidden from it out of guilt and fear, toeing the socially acceptable gender line instead of making a stand. I don't have any kids, or a spouse who wouldn't understand, or a hard-won career that might be ruined--no reason not to come out except not wanting to rock the boat. I have paid absolutely no dues to the transgender community in my life.
Is it really okay for me to start encroaching on that space, taking those resources? I don't even have any confirmation that I am what I think I am. Maybe I'm just some self-deluding tourist who needs a couple of Valium and a reality check rather than a support group.
