Defining one’s manhood…

[Chynna]

In the search to fulfill ourselves and prove to the world that we are what we want or think we are we sometimes loose track of exactly the thing  that already defines who & what we are by  our own nature.

In my younger years I was obsessed with being "normal" or simply put ..A Man. In that obsession I did a variety of very stupid & bad things to "prove" to the world if not try and convince myself that I was indeed a "Normal Man".
Maybe it was lack of respectable genitals... I perceived as inadequate, or the presence of female attributes (my breast mainly) that made me stand out, that I hated and didn't want on my body. Whatever the reason I took upon a "quest" sort of speak to prove that indeed I was a Man
In doing so I did everything from stealing cars, sleeping around (womanizing I believe the term is), to joining a gang or two, to do just about anything else you could think of that a stereotypical over masculine immature man would be expected to do..(Use your imagination!) All to compensate for what I viewed as flaws in what I at the time defined as manhood.

A quest which lead me to one final conclusion that I am simply what and who I am.
In my vain effort to "prove" to others what I wanted them to believe I was I lost sight of what it truly meant to be "a man"

That genitalia (or lack thereof) have no bearing on anyone being either a man or a woman.
But rather my actions and demeanor had everything to do with being a man or woman

My actions where ones of desperation and immaturity  because I had no clue of what being a "Real Man" was
And when I did finally realize what that meant I realized I had little or none of these attributes.
So how can I define what being a man is....

Because I am a woman who knows exactly what she desires in a mate.. in a man for that manner

Every attribute & trait I can think of absolutely none of them have to do with what's between my Man's legs but everything to do with what's in his heart, mind and soul.

MY TRIBUTE TO ALL THE MEN OF SUSAN
Especially the ones who struggle with themselves to be what you already are sweethearts!

Chynna

[Melissa]

Chynna, I tried to do a bunch of things as well to be a man.  Mostly my attitude.  However, I still don't know what it really takes to be a man.  I do have a pretty good idea of twhat it takes to be a lady though.

Melissa

[Mario]

Chynna,
   
    That was pretty good heart felt searching stuff. I know I appreciate it.

                                     Marco

[tinkerbell]

Hi Chynna Doll:
Sorry sweetie, I am one of those people who never did anything to prove anybody nothing .  The only thing I can think of is that I joined a Judo class when I was about eleven, not my choice though; but besides that I have never been in the army, jumped out of airplanes, played sports, engaged in fist fights, joined gangs or anything for that matter. 
I was always very quiet and a loner!! boys and men have always given me a hard time in life.  I'm  amazed why I am still not attracted to girls.    Oh well..  there must be a reason for that one, huh?

tinkerbell