Quote from: Princess Mickie on May 20, 2008, 07:34:45 PM
ok, the boss has told me he has had one on one meetings(about pronouns and effort on their part) with the guys in the shop but no group meeting with them. he asked if i want to be part of that meeting, and to be honest, i don't really know. i kinda want to be there that way if anyone has questions they can ask me, but i also was made the point of that i would be being talked about directly. my manager has given me until next week to decide. i know the decision is ultimately mine, but i would like to know what all you wonderful people think?
Keep in mind I don't know your situation at all... but with that said I'm wondering if your coworkers know what's really going on? In reading between the lines here, I just keep thinking they aren't getting any clear, solid picture of what your intentions are? Do you know what they've actually been told?
If your boss just told them,
"Hey, you gotta call her Mickie from now on, and say 'she' ok?" with no further explanation... it just might not seem "real" to them.
On the other hand, they might take things more seriously if he can tell them,
"Mickie is following the medically-accepted process of transitioning to be a female. It's a long process and will take some time to complete. However, she's going to be known as Mickie and a SHE from this day forward. Although we understand it will take time to unlearn old habits with names and pronouns, please make every effort to accomodate and respect her change."As for attending the meeting, I agree there are pros and cons both ways. Maybe he could talk to them first without you (so they'll feel more free to ask him blunt questions), and later call you in for questions?
For what it's worth, my boss's had me do something rather unique: I spoke with every employee myself, one on one, in 25 or so back-to-back meetings. It was a gamble for sure, as it could have looked like management had "thrown me to the wolves." But their logic was that a big meeting would make it seem like the company was forcing my change on everyone, setting up an atmosphere of confrontation and making it seem like management didn't trust their employees to
Do The Right Thing on their own.
And in the end, it worked beautifully. They were each able to ask me anything they wanted without an "audience" making them feel uncomfortable about it, and I could tailor what I said to each person.
Just food for thought
~Kate~
