Moving Out

[Chantelle]

I am moving out of the family Home and found a place to rent in Brighton UK which is transgendered friendly.
I put a deposit down and signed the lease on the place yesterday so will be their for the next six months. If I am good tenant probably stay their longer. The landlord doesonot know that I am Dual Role ->-bleeped-<- and Transgendered.   

Things came to a head about three weeks ago when I was due to attend the wedding of my cousin, as well as the Ruby Wedding Anniversary. My farther told me quite cruelly, 'I hope that you donot grow Breasts for the Wedding'. I was angry with him and basically didnot go. I wanted to ,but didnot, because I was upset about the way he treated me.  I had been on Hormones  and was wearing a push up, which is why my farther noticed them. Perhaps he was anxious that others would see.I am aware that I did the wrong thing in that I should gone for my cousins sake. I have now created rift my cousins and myself which was unecessary. My farther has told them that I am transgendered, so I am complying with his wishes. I realised after that while I was okay to stay in the family home I would never be able to crossdress freely. When I told him about being a Dual Role Transvesite he told me that I could stay as long as I didnot crossdress when he was around. This why I decided the time had come to move out.

On the work front things are going so good. After having my DV Clearance renewed. I been told that I have to go back in March to go through the whole DV Vetting Process again. This time they are worried about economic pressure. As I am starting to rent a flat, the whole idea of improving my financial has gone out of the window. I donot think I will keep my clearance. I have written a letter to HR and will see HR Manager. I have said that I felt that I had been indirectly discriminated against, because I am a Dual Role Transvesite, and have had to have counselling plus starting to rent a place. I am not sure how thiw will go down with them. I hope that they come up with some sort of middle ground solution so I donot have to go through vetting and keep my clearance. I am afraid that as I am in a difficult position they will want to fire me as I could eventually want to transition. I donot have the legal protection that transexuals would have. Anyway I am hoping that this doesnot happen and all goes well for me at tommorrows interview.

[Robyn]

I found this 1998 description of Dual Role ->-bleeped-<-, something I've never heard of in the USA:

"The dual role ->-bleeped-<-, also known as androgynous, is like the transsexual except that the gender dysphoria is not strong enough to be debilitating. This type of ->-bleeped-<- feels relatively comfortable functioning in both male and female roles. Here all that has been said about the transsexual's brokenness applies with the addition that the dual role ->-bleeped-<- is more likely to reach a compromise to preserve existing relationships while still allowing some expression of the "other-genderedness." In some cases the compromise is to make a feminine gesture of sacrificing happiness for the sake of others. "

If you are on hormones, growing breasts, and willing to leave home to be true to yourself, that sounds more like being a transsexual and wanting to live as/be a woman than being an androgynous occasional crossdresser.

Perhaps DRT is a British thing, but it doesn't seem to square with all the Press for Change work to establish legal rights for British transsexuals.

Whatever, Chantelle, I certainly wish you luck in your journey.

Robyn

[HelenW]

Can you tell us where you found that definition, Robyn?

Here all that has been said about the transsexual's brokenness . . .

I have only seen the word "brokenness" applied to homosexuality and transsexualism by the "ex-gay" movement, particularly to transsexuals by that self-loathing, transphobic minister turned "therapist" Jerry Leach.  That association alone would make the definition suspect in my eyes.

Chantelle, either way, no matter what label has been applied, I wish you luck in finding your true place in the world, categorization notwithstanding.

helen

[Kendall]

Yes living on your own will be much better. Give you freedom in your home.

[stephanie_craxford]

As the other have said moving out and being on your own will be very freeing but it may curtain certain things due to the financial commitment required to rent.  Hopefully you will be able to pull through these work issues, but it doesn't look as though this is going to happen over night.

Good look in all of this.

Steph