When I came across this thread, I had an answer straight away but after reading everyones contributions, I am not so sure.
I am a volunteer at my local theatre. It is a provincial facility owned and operated by the local council. This council has set down rules for it's staff and dress codes are among them. I am 'expected' to follow the formal dress code for females and they know that I am a 'pre-op'. I have no problems with that as it gives me good practice with my interactions with other staff members and the public living and working as a female. I have done this for nearly 2 years and have been successful to the extent that I have a letter that was written for the gender clinic for verification of current RLT. After a few early awkward moments at the time when I was engaged, everyone treats me as I am today, Jennifer. We have a natter and a giggle and they even got me drunk one night to loosen me up
Outside of the theatre, it is a different story. Most days, I have to board a bus into town and have to brave the whispers, innuendo and giggles from school kids etc but mostly from the appalling drivers that the bus company employ. My travel pass ( I am disabled ) clearly shows me as a female with photo and name clear to see but this is not quite good enough for them. When challenged by the driver, the passengers are also alerted thus follows 10 minutes of sheer agony until the bus gets to town.
Once in town, life gets easy again because people generally are too busy with their own little lives and not with little 'ole me. There are exceptions, on Friday I went into a little shop to get something ( 1st ever time in there ) and as I was leaving, the man behind the counter called attention to his assistant near the door. He looked at me, I turned back and looked at them both catching site of an offensive gesture at my expense. I give them business in hard times and get abused for doing so, I will not return.
These events are rare, about 1%. But when they do occur, I have severe dips in confidence. Society expects much of females and men alike and we seem trapped into a mindset of how to behave according to our genital arrangements at birth. To cross the gender divide is tough, but to live in the wrong gender is much harder in my view. When I was existing as a man (
) I never fitted in with my co-workers and they gave me a hard time assuming that I was gay. I was expected to be like them and I failed them. Today, as a woman, I try hard to fit in with how women behave. I have no idea if I am doing it well or not but my neighbour put me at ease a week ago when I was having a heart to heart with her over a bottle of wine. She told me that I was more of a woman than she ever was despite my inability to match her 7 children. I have breasts that she envies ( she has implants mine are natural ), my dress sense is immaculate ( her words ), my gestures are 'typically' female ( I note the comment from Scratchy Wilson ) and that I should relax and enjoy myself because society insists on trivialities whilst real life does not.
My view of society's expections of my gender is..........
