But you have such an attractive body, why would you change it?

[Lukas-H]

How many of you have heard this from someone you know? Maybe it was before or during your transition or maybe you were only -thinking- about transitioning and they said this to you. Maybe it was something a lot less life-altering such as dressing differently or minimizing features about your face or body that you found uncomfortable or perhaps you were just experimenting with your look.

I'm sure that many of you have heard this at one point from a family member or friend. How does it make you feel? Why do people feel the need to say this to someone? Is it because they are uncomfortable with what you are doing and perhaps think that reminding you how 'attractive' or 'beautiful' or 'handsome' you are will talk you out of changing yourself?

It's something that has always bothered me a great deal, it's as if they think that their word alone is enough to make your wants/needs to transition or change or just be different as null and void because they or other people will be uncomfortable with you. Or perhaps it's sort of a plea for you not to change because they are so familiar with the old you, they don't know if they could get used to you if you changed.

What do you all think?

[Kate]

I've heard similar things, mostly (and understandably) from my wife. More along the lines of, "you're so healthy and perfect and lucky... why would you risk all that with HRT and surgeries?"

She gets the GID thing, she really does... but doesn't like the idea of risking one's health for anything really.

~Kate~

[LynnER]

From my guy friends... "But you have PERFECT facial hair... why would you want to go and ruin it"
From my girl friends... "But you have such a perfect beautiful *ahem* why would you want to cut it off"

From both, "your such a <guys> handsome <girls> hot guy... you wouldn't look good as a girl'

I also got some about my voice... but hey....

LOOK AT ME NOW :pp AND LISTEN TO ME NOW SO THERE *tHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBT*

yes im alittle rambunctious

[Rebecca Liz]

A young girl at the nail salon made a similar comment the other day. Kinda surprised me, as I haven't received this comment in quite awhile, and then usually from close family/friends. I had to show my male ID to use my female credit card, and I kinda cringed. She said, "You don't like showing your ID?" to which I responded, "Would you?" She said, "You were a very good-looking man. I would've dated you. Why would you do this to yourself?"

Now, how the heck do you quickly (as I was in a hurry) respond to that comment and question? I'm still trying to figure that out. However, this gave me a slightly new perspective on this general question of "Why would you change your attractive body?" I think, at least from this girl's perspective, that possibly she thought I had issues dating, and since women are the fairer sex, thought I'd have more luck switching teams. Regardless, it shows a complete lack of understanding, which another friend of mine showed today, as he struggled to accept my transition.

I do think it's great how much exposure we're getting in the media these days, but it's still not enough, or the correct kind, to make people understand. I just keep explaining it as best I can, one person at a time...

[Seshatneferw]

How about 'Yes, I looked good, but after (age minus five) years I just got fed up with my body feeling all wrong. You wouldn't wear a dress that didn't fit no matter how gorgeous it looked, would you?'

  Nfr

[PolarBear]

I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with change. We're creatures of habit, change is scary; we can't predict what will happen anymore.
When the change is for the positive, we buckle up and undergo it, emerging with a smile because we made it.
When the change is negative, we piss and moan about it until it is over.
But when the change seems to be for no reason at all (after all, you were a handsome man / pretty woman before), I guess it's just mindblowing.... Why would you change something that is fine into something that you don't know how it will turn out? Silly you...

They don't understand the reason and try to fill in the blanks. And even when you try to explain the true reason it is something many cannot comprehend.
Perhaps the best response might be "It just is. Accept it, respect it." for those folks who cannot understand for the life of them.


Cheers,
PolarBear