Negative aspects of transitioning?

[Nero]

I just finished reading some list about the negative aspects of transitioning. The title was something like "Do NOT transition if you care about these things."
There were probably 20 things on the list, including :
"If you transition, nobody will want you sexually, especially if you are FtM."

I found this a bit offensive, but am not too concerned by it. If people aren't turned on by FtMs, that's only because they haven't met me yet.

"It will be extremely difficult for you to travel and obtain a passport especially if you haven't had SRS.
You'll be barred from visiting many countries and will likely be detained and jailed in others."

Is this true? This bothers me. I don't care for the idea of being told where I can or cannot go. And since I don't want bottom surgery, is it true I can no longer obtain a passport?
Anybody know about this or have experienced this?

Also, what do you consider to be possible negative aspects of transitioning?
Looking for feedback, experiences, fears,etc.

Nero

[Leigh]

  If people aren't turned on by FtMs, that's only because they haven't met me yet.

Spoken like a typical male with an attitude.  There isn't a man anywhere that does it for me.

Anybody know about this or have experienced this?

You can get a passport but without a letter from a Dr. stating you have had SRS the gender marker will not be changed.  I "believe" for the men that top surgery and a hysterectomy qualifies.

Looking for feedback, experiences, fears,etc.

I thought my life would consist going to work, going to the store and spending my time alone at home.

The first two were right, the third was so far off the mark.  I have more people in my life everyday than I had in weeks before.

Leigh

Nero
[/quote]

[umop ap!sdn]

"If you transition, nobody will want you sexually, especially if you are FtM."

I saw the same list, and this one line surprised me. Not everybody thinks FtMs are unattractive so don't sweat that.

Heck, that was even a concern for me I mean how many people find MtFs attractive? Well, I've had both GGs and straight bio-men hit on me even after they know about me. So while the dating pool might shrink, it doesn't completely evaporate.

[Melissa]

Nero, would you mind either posting the link to this document or a copy itself.  I remember reading it a while back, but I would love to address the questions now that I have a better idea of how my life is.

Melissa

[Dennis]

I remember seeing that once too. Quite frankly, my dating pool hasn't shrunk any. I'm just not interested atm, having just got out of an awful marriage.

And as far as passport goes, I have two. British and Canadian. I have to wait another year to change the British one, but my Canadian one is fine.

Dennis


edit: of course, I've lost Leigh out of the potential dating pool, but I do hope she's still in the friend pool

[Leigh]

As far as getting a passport; it is still possible to have your gender marker changed on your passport if you haven't had SRS; the trick is that your passport will be valid for only one year instead of the usual ten years.   

Its possible if you can get a Dr. to submit a letter stating that you are going for SRS otherwise ya still get the bio marker. 

Leigh


Posted at: July 11, 2006, 10:19:37 PM

  of course, I've lost Leigh out of the potential dating pool, but I do hope she's still in the friend pool

Dennis.

I am a lesbian, not dead.

If you definition of a date is going to coffee, a beer, a movie dinner I have no problem.

If its intended to be a romantic interlude-- well now!

  This isn't discrimination, I am simply not attracted to men on a sexual basis.  If I was discriminatory why would I have contributed to top surgery for a man I know?

Leigh

[Melissa]

Heh heh, I've had coffee dates with Leigh.

Melissa

[MarcosGirl]

Nero,

I consider myself someone and I am as attracted as one can get to an FtM.  Believe me, there are people out there, you just have to look in the right places.  I wouldn't go to a fundamentalist religious service to cruise chicks, but maybe a nice trans-friendly church.

Although I can't speak from first hand knowlege, I would think the benefits of transitioning far outweight the negative aspects.  The person is finally becoming what they know they are on the inside.  To me, it seems that the most negative aspect would be family/friends that reject you for it.  But I have heard so many stories where they come around eventually.  The important thing is, is to be true to yourself.

Take care,
Pam

[Luc]

Hey... they must be discounting the bisexual chicks! Yeah, so I posed as a lesbian for awhile, while trying to figure out what to do about being TS, but bi chicks are more accepting, or so I've found, of lesbians, straight guys, gay guys, and TSs. Your dating pool would narrow anyway if you reconciled yourself to just being a lesbian (believe me, I know), but there's plenty of hot bi chicks out there who really don't care what's in your pants... they just like you for you. I wouldn't worry about the dating bit, Nero... you seem a whole lot more confident than I am, so I think you'll do just fine.

Rafe

[Chynna]

you can always try to sneak in through the back door or an open window....there's always a way...you  just have to do it the right way....there's always a legal way to go around the system.....

like to echo my sisters comment on that one there are always always lets say "alternative possiblities" to the rules.
I explore them everyday!

As for not being sexually attractive because of being FtM ...well mmmm... I think I answered that in a post or a PM or in both!!! besides if you run out of fish in your pool you always have one in your bucket already!


A Hott "BI" fish called
Chynna

[stephanie_craxford]

I just finished reading some list about the negative aspects of transitioning. The title was something like "Do NOT transition if you care about these things."
There were probably 20 things on the list, including :
"If you transition, nobody will want you sexually, especially if you are FtM."

I found this a bit offensive, but am not too concerned by it. If people aren't turned on by FtMs, that's only because they haven't met me yet.

"It will be extremely difficult for you to travel and obtain a passport especially if you haven't had SRS.
You'll be barred from visiting many countries and will likely be detained and jailed in others."

Is this true? This bothers me. I don't care for the idea of being told where I can or cannot go. And since I don't want bottom surgery, is it true I can no longer obtain a passport?
Anybody know about this or have experienced this?

Also, what do you consider to be possible negative aspects of transitioning?
Looking for feedback, experiences, fears,etc.

Nero

I wouldn't take these lists too literally as people encounter the same problems whether they are TS or not.  So would it be guaranteed that people would want me sexually if I wasn't TS, and given the State of your Union, travel for anyone into and out of the US has become more difficult.  Folks have to remember that while we are in transition we are in turmoil so to speak and there are bound to be rough spots that we have to deal with, it's the nature of the beast.  Now I know that there are those out there who feel differently about transition but for me transition will be up until my surgery is complete and then I will simply blend in and disappear from view.  Being TS means you are who you are, and I'm one of those who feel if you are TS then you will transition regardless of the consequences, regardless of lists, regardless of the pitfalls, regardless of the negative side, and regardless of the risks, for what could be worse...

I am a heterosexual woman, and so far I've had no problem attracting men (after I've plied them with ale - just kidding)

Steph

[LostInTime]

Yes, there will be countries that you cannot visit due to trans status.  You can try, but many could care less where you are from.  Rule is if they have strict Muslim rules in place, avoid like the plague.  Nothing may happen or you could end up dead.  I looked into going overseas for some astronomical events and was advised that it may not be wise to do so unless I have SRS, matching documents, go with someone, never stray from the group, and know whether or not there is an embassy for the US there.

YMMV.