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A question for those who bottled it up for a long period

Started by Yip, June 08, 2008, 12:41:57 AM

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Janet_Girl

Hi Yip,

Welcome to the family.  You now have a lot of sisters and brothers who know where you are coming from.

You have come to the right place.  And the girls are right about a plan.  I spent years struggling with my identity.  I even tried to find a therapist that would deprogram me.  And I tried the suicide route.

I know how hard it is to find where you belong.  Ill tell you that your own inner voice and your heart knows what is best.  Search your inner self.  Throw away any prejudges that you have been taught. Be honest with your self and you will find that you will know what you must do to be happy.

Make a plan, like the girls said.  Write down if you have to and by all means, stick around and learn.

Much Love,
Janet
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Suzy

Hi Yip!  As others said, welcome to Susan's!

I think many of us bottled it up because we didn't know what to do.  The younger generation sure has access t6o a lot of information we didn't have. 

Be prepared for the emotional roller coaster ride to go on for a while.  You have gotten some great advice, but there is one piece of advice I want to pass along to you:
Enjoy yourself along the way!  This thing is hard enough.  Don't take yourself so seriously that you can't laugh at the fun times.  Be in the moment and enjoy yourself.  You will only grow up this way one time.

I wish you the very best.  Nice to meet you.

Kristi
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Yip

Quote from: Lisbeth on June 08, 2008, 06:20:26 PM
Yip, anything that gives you hope will help.  If having a plan gives you hope then, yes, it will bring relief.  But after awhile just having the plan won't be enough unless you act on it.  Keep reassessing what is working and not working and adjust what you are doing.

Yeah thats why I'm going to work things into it I can do early before changes,

For instance I could work on my fitness right now to friends and family i'm just improving myself,
secretly i'm looking after myself for the first time and reducing the risks i'll be facing later (I'm doing something!!)
I can research and get material on voice practice this I bet takes a long time to master.

On the subject of mines Wing Walker, I'm Australian I'm now 29 i've lived in mining towns all my life my entire family are miners. I dont know what a mine is like
in the US (I havent seen the movie, actually i've seen shorts) but its not actually that bad here, there are sizable numbers of women in our mines (my sister is infact a miner btw).
As far as i know treatment is fair here your all professionals and will be quickly shown the door (or mine parking lot) if you mess around with that crap.
Infact if i was a born female I would have absolutely no fear of entering this mining job at all!.  Aussie mines have entered the 21st century and come a long way
but on the subject of transgender THAT I think will have a problem, The mining industry may have accepted women now (infact I missed out on my first attempt
so they could get another women ..... that REALLY hurt me and broke a few laws no doubt(I know because i have family inside).

No what the other blokes wouldnt accept is transgender they'd jump to terms such as "->-bleeped-<-" very quickly having the people around me fear and hate me
in a job where its quiet dangerous isn't good.

Yes I'm undecided on whether I should plan to stay as long as I possibly can hide the change or I should stick it out and say a big screw you all I'm not giving up
a good job for you bunch of @#$@%%@  ...anyway  It all depends on how strong I will be when the day comes isn't it.

There is an advantage for me though I'll be operating machines mostly alone as far as I know, I only spend time with others when they assign where ppl are going.
I'm hoping at the very least I could spend say 2 years in the mine then start transition , So between now and then I see councilors I do other things. Then once I start
HRT I have a couple months to say a year before I have to make a stand or go to friendly ground.

You said it right Zythyra i'm on a roller coaster ride from hell right now ,I didn't want to say this but for a month i've felt rotten,
If I continue to feel this bad for long I don't think I could handle it and so wouldn't be around for long if you get what i mean
I'm feeling so horrible and I feel i've lost so much because of it that things one month ago I said I couldn't do are suddenly looking alot better. When
you realise that my survival may depend on this. Things like telling the parents are a minor after thought, I don't want to die.
Like you alot of my problems in school after school i've had that I know I had and puzzled me are suddenly making sense
Its been a relief in some ways but horrible in alot of others.

Ty for that rough idea of what changes to expect, I basically want to transition as soon as possible frankly if someone said you
can have it all done tomorrow but no pain killers and you'll be awake frankly I'd say hell yeah why not right now!!
But realistically I take it, I could start and still have a decent time left in the mine before I couldn't hide it at all.

I'm feeling really great reading this, I'm really happy I've turned the music up and feel like i'm on a high right now
Yesterday I thought I had no chance, today I have a shot if one thing works out I have a shot. Misery has become a seriously
huge stick prodding me in the back, and I don't feel I have a choice I needed hope. And thats what I think the plan will give me.
For the first time in my life I'm going to have to stop caring what others think because doing that has been screwing me from the day
I was born and its going to kill me if i don't.

I know its a rollercoaster and i'm going to go down again sometime but right now I almost feel like dancing lol!.
And I'll have a plan I can look at and say i'm here i've done this to cheer up with!, Wing walker If you felt like I have
for 46 years, I seriously give you credit for being a very strong person. I've suppressed this for probably a little over
15 years, after one month of being honest with myself I'm almost climbing the walls and doubt I could deal with it
for long. It upsets me that I've missed the chance to do this when I was young enough to avoid some of the effects
of puberty. Right now It looks like i'll be at least early 30's before I can do anything serious but IF you could hold yourself
together for 46 years surely I can for 3 or 4?.

Holy crap wall of text !!
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