Ya know, Poly. We all manipulate. Body-wise we use our minds and our hands to manipulate nature in order to make and have things we want: cars, toasters, missles (boo) and clothing.
We all manipulate other people as well. Some do it 'nicely.' They coddle and compliment, smile, are vulnerable to others, etc. Some do it harshly, or in other ways.
Anyhow, to say you are manipulative is not a bad thing. It's a human thing. Like I've said before: we are social animals. We do the things we feel are necessary to get ourselves social, interactive, attention from others of our kind. We form pair-bonds and socieities, we often communally care for our young.
There is nothing a priori bad about manipulation. Sometimes though we manipulate things so very relentlessly to get a lot, or most, of another's attention, or a group's attention, that we make others uncomfortable, or resentful. Generally, people who do so have a great fear of being left alone.
We feel that we are always not good enough, not loveable enough or not wantable enough for others to love and care for us as we are. Generally, that is because through, usually, no real fault of our own, our lives have passed through events and people who ingrained within us a sense of being unacceptable, not good enough, to get the attention we all crave and require for a positive life.
So, Poly, if you are manipulative, just know that makes you human, like everyone else who comes to Susan's. That is something you don't have to change, being manipulative. You may need to toned-down or somehow change the tactics of your manipulation to better feel comfortable to others. But, luv, as long as you're human; you will be manipulative. So will we all.
Nichole
