As a service to our community, I humbly submit the following:
Since getting my ears pierced, the level of friendly ribbing (and 'friendly' ribbing...) has increased a bit at work. It doesn't help that everybody still remembers the T-lady who retired a few months ago (I mention her because it factors into this story. The other fact you need to know is that Jerri was known for always wearing white pants.)
So, our section supervisor came to dig me out of my video editing 'hole' so we could all go to lunch. There's the usual smack-talking banter common to (what they still think is) an all-male workgroup (
). I heard my supervisor call over his shoulder "...at least he's not wearing white pants!" (
)
Well, as we were all heading to the car, the topic of discussion was my recent changes, the point being nothing more than smack-talking a member of the group. I deflected most of the barbs with my stock answer that I was going through a mid-life crisis, and was trying to re-visit the 'hippie' of my youth. The ribbing subsided and the topic of discussion wandered off to another subject. But I knew I needed to bring my supervisor into my secret...
Later, I found out he was also staying overnight at the base, and I suggested to him we do dinner together. During the drive to the restaurant and at dinner, we talked of the work environment and general problems that were affecting our section, but the chance to broach my main subject didn't come up until we were returning from the restaurant.
"Boss, you need a little more sensitivity training," and I reminded him of the ribbing I had taken at lunch. He said he knew he was weak in that area, and started to apologise. I said that I wasn't offended, but I had to bring up the topic because he didn't know how close he was to the truth...
He took it very well, saying he felt deeply honored that I would entrust my 'secret' to him, and that if he weren't driving he'd give me a big hug right there.
I feel a lot better knowing I have my first ally at work.
Karen
P.S., we were 'caught' hugging in the parking lot in front of our office building...
P.S. #2 -- for those looking for specifics of how I approached my coming-out statement. My boss knows I'm 'seeing' a therapist by phone, so I started with that, explaining that this therapist specializes in gender identity issues -- and that I was seeing him because I'm a transsexual female. Once that was said, the rest was easy...
