I'm so scared

[Melissa]

Tomorrow is my official coming out day at work.  So far only HR, the executives, and my manager know and nobody anticipates any problems, but I'm still scared.  That means I can start my RLT immediately after that.  That part is exciting.  I'm trying not to think about tomorrow, so that I can actually concentrate at work.

Melissa

[beth]

Good luck Melissa,


                          I hope all goes well, remember it will be a shock for many so expect that and don't take it as disapproval. Give people a little time and they will recognise the real you.  You have come such a long way.




beth

[Sarah Louise]

I had so many different reactions at the different companies I did work for at the time.  Some were positive others were not all that good, but in general things went well.

Hopefully most of your experiences will be positive, but if not, just ignore those people, they aren't that important anyway.

Sarah L.

[Dennis]

Congratulations Melissa. Another milestone. Remember that a good part of your anxiety today is caused by the uncertainty. The people who are important are supporting you. The rest will come around if they're not there instantly.

Good luck with it Melissa,

Dennis

[LostInTime]

Remember, no matter how badly it may seem to go....someone else has been through worse.

My first transition.  My boss had said that he would inform management and inform everyone in my department.  I showed up for work to find out that he had not done so.  Ummm, surprise?

Good luck with everything and let us know how it goes.

Hugs.

[Melissa]

Well, thanks.  I expect this to go well, but I'm still nervous.

My first transition.  My boss had said that he would inform management and inform everyone in my department.  I showed up for work to find out that he had not done so.  Ummm, surprise?

Oh my.  That must have been quite uncomfortable.  That's why I'm staying around after people are told.

Melissa

[spike]

Keep us poste abot ur progees 2 work itis really inspiring  & am very exited or you that yu nab exoress who you ar eall the time. Woah RLt wil go well i just know it! 
~Amy

[Melissa]

Keep us poste abot ur progees 2 work itis really inspiring  & am very exited or you that yu nab exoress who you ar eall the time. Woah RLt wil go well i just know it! 
~Amy

Ok, I think I can decode this :

Keep us posted about your progess to work. It is really inspiring and I am very excited for you that you can express who you are all the time. Whoa RLT will go well, I just know it! 

Is that what happens when you stop smoking?   Thanks Amy.

Melissa

[Kate]

Tomorrow is my official coming out day at work.  So far only HR, the executives, and my manager know and nobody anticipates any problems, but I'm still scared.  That means I can start my RLT immediately after that.  That part is exciting.  I'm trying not to think about tomorrow, so that I can actually concentrate at work.

A wise someone once told me something like,

If the relationshp is strong, what are you worried about?
And if it was weak to begin with, why do you care?

But I know, I know... words only go so far. But it sounds like you've planned this as responsibly and intelligently as possible. The rest... is up to them. You've done your part. Now you just have to be yourself.

[Chaunte]

Melissa,

I pray that things go well for you tomorrow.  We will be thinking and praying for you.

Godspeed,

Chaunte

[Melissa]

I scared that after tomorrow, nobody will want to talk to me anymore and I won't be able to do my job, since it requires me interacting with others.  I'm hoping that this worry goes unwarranted though.  I'm sure I'll also have many questions to answer tomorrow, so I don't think my part is quite over.  I imagine monday will be even harder, since I'll have to gather up the courage to continue acting normally and not hide away at my desk.  Basically, I'm leaving my comfort zone for a while (unless everyone is extremely accepting), but if it all work out well, I'll be a much happier person.  The thing that keeps me going is that I know that there is no going back at this point.  It's like going down a very steep slide and would take a Herculian effort to go backwards.

Melissa

[stephb]

Melissa,

You are a strong, beautiful person. I'm sure it will be difficult, but you will get through it and do well. Be proud of yourself.

I'll be thinking of you.

Steph

[LostInTime]

Melissa,

I work in computer support.  When I first came out and showed up for my first day of work, it was dead silent.  The only calls or emails came from those I was very close to at work already.  So I went upstairs (why are all IT depts in the basement?) and walked around, like I normally do.  Said hellos and all that.  Showed them that I was completely comfortable, happy, and doing things business as usual.

That broken open the ground for many but not all.  There are some who still will not speak to me or even ask for help unless there are no other choices. 

I had some other problems as well.  Reasons ranged from I was going against their god's will to I looked way too good.

Point is, just go in and be yourself.  Everything else will eventually work out.

[MarcosGirl]

Melissa,
       Best of luck with your coming out at work.  I hope that your colleagues will see you for the same beautiful person that you are on the inside.  I pray that their minds will be open to the fact that your outside will now match that beautiful interior.


Pam

[LynnER]

Best of luck to you Melissa, I'll pray things go over well.  Stand strong

[Nero]

I'll second that, Pam.

Melissa,
I can't imagine anyone not wanting to talk to you anymore. You're an incredibly sweet girl and I can't fathom anyone not loving you. Besides who could possibly resist that smile?
Don't be scared, baby, Nero's here for you.

Nero

[HelenW]

OMG, Melissa, I so feel for you.  I can imagine what your going through and I hope that by tomorrow at this time you'll be thinking, "What was I so worried about?"

I guess that you'll be the main topic of conversation for a week or so and then, especially if you continue in your good work and outgoing personality, it'll drop down and die out.  Then you'll just be another girl at the office.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow at 11:00 (You're 3 hours behind us on the Eastern time zone, I'm assuming you start at eight) and will be sending good thoughts across the continental divide.

I can't wait to read all your good news tomorrow when I log on again!
helen

[Melissa]

The first meeting isn't actually until 11:30.  I'll meet with the HR person in the morning and go over information changes and then I'll go back to work.  At 11:30, the people I work with will meet first and the HR person will make the announcement.  That's when I'll probably lay my head down on my desk and expect the worst when it's over. 

Ugh, I shouldn't think about this.  It just keeps making me nervous.

Melissa

[NightAngel]

******************
*Best of luck Melissa !!*
******************

You're a great person and I believe that everything will be okay.

I'll be thinking of you. 



Michelle

[stephanie_craxford]

Hey there Melissa.

I went through the same thing last year and it turned out great.  I think that there were only a couple who had a problem, but I was protected by company policies.  I'm sure that yours will go ok.  You say that you have HR and your boss behind you so that's half the battle.  After a couple of weeks I was old news and just not that interesting anymore, they moved on to other topics

You can't make people like you so just be yourself and be positive, don't let them get to you.  Last night I was in Burlington for a Safety Managers seminar.  All my peers (other branch safety managers) were there, about 110 people.  Wouldn't you know it at the end of the day there was a raffle draw and I won one of the prizes, so I had to walk up onto the stage in front of everyone to get my prize.  But even though I knew that there were those there who said "there she is, that's what she looks like" (I was told afterwards), I felt good, looked damn good, and hey none of them guessed who I was until they heard my name.

You'll do ok Melissa.

Steph




Posted at: July 06, 2006, 10:00:21 PMP.S.  Just remember to stay positive, and confident about you and continue to do your job as you have always done, inspite of them.  Cause believe me they will be watching for you to falter.

Steph