No one will tell you to go to hell. *hugs*
Try to stay positive. That may be hard to do because of what happened in the past, but at the very least don't go with any expectations. The fact that you have the courage to go through it again shows that you are a stronger person inside than perhaps you think you are.
Keep hold of that strength, keep telling yourself that you have the courage to do it, and with that you have the courage to do anything. There are always options, no matter how bleak the situation may seem.
Picture in your mind the best way your appointment can go. Take some deep breaths and see yourself being confident, persuasive, and everything going the way you want it to. She's only a person, when all's said and done. Like you. She isn't some dragon you have to try and slay. Remember that when you go for your appointment. You're just as good as anyone, and just as deserving. Be honest, tell her how you feel and why, and explain things as clearly as you can.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that everything does work out the way you want it to and you get everything you deserve in life. *hugs again*
