Androgynes - Would you date a transsexual?

[red]

I am already happily partnered, but if I wasn't I would have no problem with dating either a FtM or a MtF transsexual. As others have said, it's not a person's bits I'm attracted to, it's the person.

Actually, the biggest potential problem I can see with dating another trans-person is that we tend to collectively be a depressive lot, so there could be some possibility of feeding off each other's negativity.

I am sorry if i'm intruding or interrupting, but just wanted to say that I like what you had to say ^ up there.  Its sad that transpeople get all the depression and it seems that no on else gets it. Well that's my experience with depression.

[childofwinter]

I'm not sure. I've never known a TS person in real life and I've never dated anyone, so it's hard for me to give you much of an answer. I think if I knew they were before the relationship started, it would be much easier for me personally. If I didn't, then I would hope that my reaction would be one of acceptance.

[red]

I'm not sure. I've never known a TS person in real life and I've never dated anyone, so it's hard for me to give you much of an answer. I think if I knew they were before the relationship started, it would be much easier for me personally. If I didn't, then I would hope that my reaction would be one of acceptance.

You seem very kindhearted.  TS people *need* to be accepted.  I like what you had to say here.

[Smashley]

my partner is an FTM and I love him so very much so yeah I would date a transexual...transsexuals are awesome!

[El]

I generally find myself attracted to GGs MtFs and androgynes, most guys and FtMs dont cut it for me. I find myself in a bit of a situation with dating because whilst the female form is most pleasing to my eyes, when it comes to intamacy i want to be held and looked after by a big strong man. I am a quite submissive person so although the female form is what i desire when i get there it is often hard to give or recieve satisfaction when i feel like im being pushed into a masculine dominant roll.

[wannalivethetruth]

At the risk of being ripped a new one, I'll be totally honest.

It would be difficult for me to date a person who is ts.  I could handle androgyne, but probably not with someone taking hormones or having srs.  That probably makes me an awful person.  I have my reasons though, even if they aren't fair.

But when it comes down to it, I don't think I could be in a relationship where people would gawk and gossip and all that crap...that stems from some issues with the unfortunate people around me as I was growing up.  The simplest way to put it would be to say that I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm a weirdo and thinking badly of me and a relationship with a (forgive me for putting it like this) 'normal' guy would help me achieve some level of acceptance in my relatives' eyes (and I don't even like them...it's a stupid, stupid complex that I wish I could get over).

Well, to be even more horrible, I could date someone as long as no one else knew.  It's the being looked down on and talked about that I can't handle. 

I wish I could be a better person, but this is one area where I can forgive myself for being a hypocrite.

:O you must never been in love my dear??? 

When your in love, all that stuff don't matter!
Staying in a box of what you prefer could keep you from finding true love.

[Deanna_Renee]

Sorry, can I also butt in here? Please, Nero?

Okay, while I'm waiting for your answer, I'll just go ahead and add my couple cents. luv ya!

I identify as MtF and still very early on (pre-HRT, pre-OP) and I have always been physically attracted to women (GGs) and have, until recently, only considered dating GGs - albeit very, very unsuccessfully. Now, I am at a point where I'm really not interested in dating anyone, mostly because, like Jaimie, I'm more afraid of hurting someone else than myself. I have never thought of, or considered dating a guy a remote possibility.

Having said that, I think the only thing that could change my mind is if I met an MtF, Androgyne, or even an FtM who I really liked, I very well could change my mind. I think I would feel that someone else who is TG/TS would be more understanding of what I am going through and could grow along with. That and I have seen quite a few really hot women. As for FtM, I think I could probably make some exceptions to my no interest in males. Now, once I'm post-op, I could likely see myself easily being open to being with a guy (GM or FtM) probably more likely FtM than GM. I would even be open to Androgyne - I have known a few over the years and they have pretty universally been super nice peeps. I guess it all comes down to, like many have said, what is on the inside, if there is chemistry. Looks do count a lot to me, but you could look stunning (I'm more attracted to a MaryAnne type over Ginger) but if you don't have a personality or can't hold my interest, then looks are nothing.

I hope I made some kind of sense here (I'm getting tired).

Deanna

[gqueering]

I am so glad you asked this question as I've been thinking about it a lot lately (read: obsessing!). My answer is a definite YES! for MtF and a 'maybe' to FtM.
I'm sexually attracted to more feminine individuals and have always been attracted to MtF's but for some reason thought I didn't stand a chance as a female. I'm also attracted to feminine men and boi's but have a thing for boobs (I like them). Personality-wise I'm fairly passive but sexually I'm aggressive and my perfect partner would compliment me (so a more aggressive personality but sub sexually). I would love to have a relationship with a MtF but have no idea how to go about it. I have met a few briefly and personality wise I liked some and not others, but they all identified as hetero. I've been afraid of admitting that I'm an 'admirer' for fear of being labeled a '->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-' - which I think is a very demeaning term.
So thanks for asking  and I'm glad I'm not alone!
Post Merge: October 26, 2009, 12:59:03 AM
[/font]

I'm sexually attracted to women physically. I don't think it matters to me if they are transexual or not.

The stuff that will get me is the physical stuff. If my partner was a FtM and changed on the job as it were, I think I might lose my attraction for them. I don't know where the tipping point would be but I think it is there. We could still be the best of companions though. I would probably also be ok being with a pre-op MtF, depends on the person.

I've meet men that I have found attractive as they had this really feminine quality about them. I've also been attracted to some really staunch lesbians. I guess I like people a bit gender queer.

Wow, you sound a lot like me! I think the FtM 'tipping point' for me would be losing the boobs  and facial hair.
Post Merge: October 26, 2009, 02:10:29 AM

Well yes. I married one actually lol! If I had to put myself into a category I would say i'm a lesbian as that's the most uncomplicated thing. She is a mtf and I love her as a person. That's the bottom line. She could decide down the road that she wanted to be male or continue being female and get the operation or what have you I would still love her and support her. She is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and I don't care what people say. If they have a problem with her they better come through me first. *smirk protective* lol. But it's true. She's my love, my best friend, my wife, my support, my other half. I mean when I first saw her for the very first time I knew I loved her. It's just her. I love her like I love no other person in the world and I would love her no matter what. We are who we are and we are who we are with each other. And that's ok.

*sigh* That's beautiful... I'm a little jealous, lol

[Kinkly]

every person I've fallen for has had something about them that wasn't "normal" (mostly medical - cancer, blind,deaf,mental disorder more recently I've had feelings for a non transitioning F2M) about them weather i knew it or not when I realised i had feelings for them I wouldn't want to be with anyone who spent all there time making sure they passed
as long as I can see the beauty in them and they Love me as me then - nothing else matters
that seems to be the hard part finding someone who will love me as i am - the only thing thats stoped me having any (romantic) relationship is that no one has been willing to love me back
if a ts will I'll give it a shot

[notyouraverageguy]

I believe the world should be way more open-minded... people shouldn't care about gender or sex, but focus on personality. It shouldn't matter what the person is, but who they are. And it shouldn't matter what body parts they have or how they look physically, but how they act and treat you. If people wouldn't care so much about what other people think about their choices, they'd be happier. If people wouldn't worry so much about what society says is 'supposed to be', the world would be a much better place... just think about it... it makes sense not to be gender confined, but to open yourself up to tons of possibilities by being accepting of all kinds and forms of people. And look at them for who they are not what they are... 'labels are for cans, not people'!
Post Merge: October 26, 2009, 05:06:26 PM
Ever heard 'love knows no gender'... love and marriage should be between two people that genuinely love each other for who they are... and will always love them no matter what(unless they change drastically in a non-physical way)... it shouldn't be restricted to just between a 'man and woman' as society, or conservatives, say.

[thescrappycoco]

I can agree with u to some point. I say this cause if thing's where how you are saying then no one would be gay, no one would be hetro. My feeling's is if I married a female and she decided to transition I wouldn't leave her cause of it. If I truly cared for them. I would hope that my partner felt the same way. Of course until I was faced with that it would be really hard to say how I would act if it did happen. It's easy to you would do this or that until it happens!

[Jaimey]

:O you must never been in love my dear??? 

When your in love, all that stuff don't matter!
Staying in a box of what you prefer could keep you from finding true love.

I'm a pretty cold person.  I wouldn't allow myself to fall in love with someone who had a situation I couldn't deal with.    I could probably date an ftm, but not an mtf...although that probably has more to do with the fact that I like guys than whether or not I could date a transsexual.

[jesse]

i would date a f/m sure im about whats in the heart in fact theres a reg here i happen to think is a hottie lol
jessica

[Eva Marie]

I'm happily married, but if I was not so, sure, i'd consider a TS person. Why not?

[Jack0fAllTrades]

Absolutely.
I'm attracted to more masculine people, and my current partner is genderqueer/ transmasculine. We're both planning on taking hormones in the near future, and I'm really excited about it for both myself and them.

[justmeinoz]

Being both bisexual (omnisexual?) and androgyne , what was the question again?

[no_id]

Please, I don't want the popular or socially acceptable answer. I want the truth.
To break it down -

Would you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex?

Would you date someone who decided to take hormones and/or have surgery?

Could you love someone like this?


For those who like men (or male bodies) -

Your feelings about dating an ftm?

And your feelings about dating an mtf?


For those who like women (or female bodies) -

Your feelings on dating an ftm?

Or an mtf?


For those who are bi -

Your feelings on dating an ftm?

And your feelings on dating an mtf?


I mean this with the utmost seriousness. Just the bare truth, please.

The brutally honest, unidentified answer; No.
I have absolutely no issues with flings or sexual escapades - those just spark my interest.
However, when it comes to a relationship there's more added to the bowl than chocolate syrup and some cream.
There's self sacrifice, compromise and a truthful willingness to understand.

I can be a valuable friend; someone to theorise with over meanings of questions and answers, someone there to put
things in perspective, but I can't be the lover who wraps an arm around and says 'I understand how you feel, where you're coming from and what your wants and needs are'. I'm not building a sandcastle on the binary playground. If I claimed to it would be a lie, and if I claimed I knew how to then likewise. Hence, it would be unfair to meddle with the sandcastle of the person I love or to help them build it if for as far as I can sense: there is no sand.

Not too sure if any of the above truly makes sense, but I'll leave that as my two cents for now.

[Automixes]

I'm not sure how much I'd really qualify as an androgyne, but I'm certainly closer to that than anything else.

Would you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex? Yes. Why, I have one in mind and he is awesome.

Would you date someone who decided to take hormones and/or have surgery? Yep. I would also date someone who decided to never medically transition at all.

Could you love someone like this? Definitely.

Your feelings about dating an ftm? Same as dating any other guy, except that we can ramble on about gender identity a whole lot more.

And your feelings about dating an mtf? Same as dating any other girl, etc, etc. My attraction is a bit more oriented toward men, though. It's possible a girl could win me over, but slightly less likely than somebody who identifies as male.

As far as androgyne/genderqueer/bigendered/any non-binary identity, if they caught my interest I'd pursue it, same as anyone else.

[esmirada]

i'm a bi, leaning towards the area between andro n femme, n yes to all questions n i'd date an ftm. Nt mtf tho. I lean towards liking the musculinity rather than the feminity. Being brought up in a conservative straight world kinda affected wat i like. Otherwise i think i might go for the mtf too. Hope dat helps. =)

[clare aston]

Oh Dear - this is where i lose patience, i'm afraid.....

Would i date another Human Being - TS or no?!! that's what it comes down to in the end. I wouldnt want to think that i was taking part in some weird, endless gender apartheid....
We love who we love, and that, as always, depends on who we 'click' with - the only issue is, how good are we at opening our hearts and lives to each other? If we dont get on - well, that too is down to the kinds of people we are....
Am i being simple here - ah well.....