Androgyne pronouns?

[Godot]

I feel kind of happy lately I think I've found the gender label that best fits me and I think I fit in Androgyne better than the FtM label..I identified as FtM for about 6 months but I recently realized I just didn't fit into being "that much male" so I couldn't pass that well..I feel like I can pass as androgyne easier than male. So..yay for me! I found a label that best fits me! But for a while I've seen posts in forums of people talking to other androgynous people and when they go to use pronouns referring to them they use words like "xie" or "hir" and some others. I've already guessed they're spelled that way because it's a proper way to address someone that's genderless or androgynous? I don't really know but incase I ever talk to another andro person and instead of calling them a he or a she what would be the best thing to say instead? Should I just say he or she? But I might not even know their biological gender and they might not prefer to be called a he or she....Sorry if this is a silly question or anything but I'm just curious. One person on the Asexuality.org forum called me a hir once and I kind of wondered since then what it really meant. Are there pronouns that andro's prefer to be called by?

[Shana A]

Hi Godot

Some gender variant people, myself included, prefer gender neutral pronouns. I use zie (instead of he or she) and hir (instead of his or her). There's a link in the archives for a webpage of different possible pronouns, sorry I can't remember the URL, but it'll probably show up in a search.

Zythyra

[Nero]

I try to use them but I usually slip into the 'shes' and 'hers' probably because the neutral ones sound and spell like the female pronouns.

[Jaimey]

I've just recently gotten used to using the gender neutral pronouns.  Don't worry too much about getting them wrong.  If someone prefers something different, they'll let you know.  We don't bite. 

[Shana A]

I've just recently gotten used to using the gender neutral pronouns.  Don't worry too much about getting them wrong.  If someone prefers something different, they'll let you know.  We don't bite. 

A former lover wanted to get me a t shirt that said "That's Ms. Sir to you"

Z

[NickSister]

How do you pass as Androgyne? I'm not sure if you will ever meet someone that you will know by looking at them that they prefer gender neutral terms. I think if you're unsure you could just ask. People only get offended if they think it is obvious.

How would you like to be refered to Gogot?

Personally I find gender neutral terms clunky. Perhaps I'm not used to them. I tend to use 'they'. If anyone asked I would just say to mix up him, her, she and he in conversation on a whim. I quite like the contrast. Though if someone took the effort to say sie, hir, they etc I would be flattered.

I also Like Mx (mix) or no title at all. Anything but Mr really.

[lady amarant]

I used to use the singular plural, but that seems a bit clumsy, not to mention somewhat disrespectful. So here follows what I've figured out so far:

Short primer on gender-neutral pronouns (VERY short, since I only know one or two words myself):

There's actually a whole bunch of different systems used, but the ones I've found most common are the sie/hir system and the zie system. I use the sie/hir. I've noticed a few people using zie around here also.

sie laughed (he/she laughed)
I called hir (I called him/her)
hir eyes gleamed (his/her eyes gleamed)
that is hirs (that is his/hers)
sie likes hirself (he/she likes him/herself)

The argument against this system though is that sie/hir still sound too much like she/her, so many people prefer zie:

zie laughed (he/she laughed)
I called zir (I called him/her)
zir eyes gleamed (his/her eyes gleamed)
that is zirs (that is his/hers)
zie likes zirself (he/she likes him/herself)

I started using the first system, but I'm now thinking I should use the second. Especially in spoken language, I think the first might be too close to gendered pronouns. I think though that ultimately it should be androgynes themselves who choose which set I use ... So folks, which do you prefer? Or for that matter, is my take on it dead wrong, and would you prefer something else entirely?

~Simone.

[Godot]

What you said made pretty good sense lady amarant. I don't really have a preference I can take he/she/xie/sir and anything. But I didn't know if they preffered to be called anything or what.

[Kinkly]

I use zee/they/them/their online and they/them/their IRL but if possible I would use their name

[Jaimey]

I'd say just use whatever is most comfortable for you.  Unless someone specifically asks you to use certain pronouns, I wouldn't worry about it too much.    For myself, I honestly don't care what pronouns people use.  As long as I know you're talking to me, I'll answer.