So...this is a silly question.

[nathan]

First off:  I'm a noob.  Never done this before. Extremely shy, and scared sh*tless of navigating the "psychiatric hierarchy" by myself.

Ok, so, say I find a therapist.  What do I say when I call them?  No doubt I'll get some underpaid secretary on the phone first, right?  How do I set up an appointment?  Is there a "Hi, I'm Nathan.  I'm depressed, neurotic, and have gender issues." pattern of dialogue to follow?

I read back through 2006 on this particular sub-forum, and nothing really helped me answer this question.  Can I get a helping hand here?

[sneakersjay]

I don't think you need to tell them why you want an appointment, because the therapist will ask you that on your first visit.

In my case I did because I was referred by another guy and needed to leave a message with the therapist herself.  And if I hadn't name-dropped I wouldn't have gotten in right away.  Same when I called for a group therapy session, I had to leave a message with the therapist herself (different therapist).

So my guess is if you leave a message for the therapist (ie they don't have a receptionist) I'd say why you're calling, but to a receptionist, no.  Unless they ask, but "I have issues I need to talk about (duh!)" should suffice.

Jay

[Kate]

I'd tell them exactly what you're looking for, rather than go through everything just to find out they have no experience dealing with these issues.

"Hi, I'm Nathan, and I'm looking for a therapist to help me deal with my gender identity issues. Is this something you have experience with?"

That's what I did, although I'll admit I was terrified when doing it... and just sat in my car crying after I made the call. Mostly though because I knew I'd just into motion a process that... well, I didn't know WHAT was coming. But I knew I was now on my way to finding out, once and for all.

~Kate~

[nathan]

Thanks to you both!  It's silly how terrifying this all is.

[sneakersjay]

Well Kate's right.  I was operating under the assumption you'd chosen a gender therapist already, so you knew in advance.  There are a lot of therapists out there who are clueless (my divorce therapist for one; my ex's current therapist for two).

Jay

[Kate]

Thanks to you both!  It's silly how terrifying this all is.

Not silly at all, perfectly understandable. Think about it: we hide this Deep Dark Secret for years and years... decades in many cases... so just imagine the shame and guilt that accumulate over that time. You might find that the joy of transitioning, the real *relief*, isn't just being able to live as your target gender, but also being able to let all THAT go, bit by bit.

"Coming out" is wonderfully healing and empowering, as you tell person after person and realize that the world didn't end, no one ran away screaming, and for the most part people just don't CARE (in a good way).

I've found that TSism is a much bigger deal to transsexuals than with the general public.

~Kate~

[kae m]

Thanks to you both!  It's silly how terrifying this all is.

It feels that way at first, but it really truly isn't.  Just remember, you're hiring them to help you.  There's nothing to feel silly about, it's a big step, but you CAN do it.

When I called I wasn't sure what to expect, at all.  There was a HUGE sigh of relief when voice mail picked up and there was no receptionist person to go through.  She just runs her office herself.  I left a message and only said I would like to schedule an appointment if she had availability.  I was terrified too, I spent about 3 months researching before I worked up the courage to call, so I already knew she was experienced with gender issues and I was willing to drive an hour to see her because of that.

After some phone tag I finally got her on the line and we set up an appointment.  She asked me if there was a specific reason I wanted to see her, and I just told her "I would rather not say right now over the phone because I'm in a public place".  She told me she understood completely and that was fine.  A little less than a week later I went to the first appointment, and things have been very productive since