The Guy in the Glass

[Ciarquin]

This is about being true to yourself, probably something anyone could relate to but I decided to post it in this part of the forum anyway since I thought it was especially true for us guys.

THE GUY IN THE GLASS

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy starting back from the glass.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

--Peter Dale Wimbrow, Sr. - 1945

[Rhye]

I've been trying to make myself believe that for months now.

I know in my heart that it can be that easy, but my head wants to complicate it..

Thanks for that, Ciarquin, it's the best thing I've read all day.

[Elwood]

Wonderful poem. Very inspiring.

Recently I asked an FtM I know...

Me: On one side of things, people say I should be 25 years old before I'm ready to transition. They say I'm not mature enough until I'm "really" an adult to understand the weight of the decision. On the other side of things, people say I should trust only my own instincts. Who should I trust when my instincts directly conflict with everyone else's?

He says: Once you stop consulting other people whether or not you should transition, you'll be ready. When you stop worrying about the opinions of everyone else and give yourself permission to move on, that is when your time has come.

I need to consult this with only myself and with no one else. My transition is up to me. My dad's only requirement is...

Dad: We'll only pay for it if you do it right and go through the proper therapy. Then Kaiser's insurance will cover some of it.

Sounds like a good deal to me.

[Ciarquin]

He says: Once you stop consulting other people whether or not you should transition, you'll be ready. When you stop worrying about the opinions of everyone else and give yourself permission to move on, that is when your time has come.[/list]

Well said. That's always been the way I've gone about things. I've never asked anyone else what I should do. I've talked about it with people, sure, but in the end the one I consult is always myself, no one else. It's our lives, our bodies. Only we can know what we really want.

[Elwood]

He says: Once you stop consulting other people whether or not you should transition, you'll be ready. When you stop worrying about the opinions of everyone else and give yourself permission to move on, that is when your time has come.[/list]

Well said. That's always been the way I've gone about things. I've never asked anyone else what I should do. I've talked about it with people, sure, but in the end the one I consult is always myself, no one else. It's our lives, our bodies. Only we can know what we really want.

I was a good kid. Always did what I was told. Always trusted the authority figures. For the first time in my life, the authority figures aren't looking out for what's best for me... For the first time in my life, I have to actually fight the forces that I previously thought only sought justice.

After he said this to me, I was inspired. I now understand. I have to lead this path. No one can really help me get there. They can only help show me the way. My dad said,

Dad: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You can, however, show the horse where the water is, then it will decide when it is ready to drink.

Show me the way, only I can take myself there.

[Scotty72]

He says: Once you stop consulting other people whether or not you should transition, you'll be ready. When you stop worrying about the opinions of everyone else and give yourself permission to move on, that is when your time has come.[/list]

Well said. That's always been the way I've gone about things. I've never asked anyone else what I should do. I've talked about it with people, sure, but in the end the one I consult is always myself, no one else. It's our lives, our bodies. Only we can know what we really want.

I was a good kid. Always did what I was told. Always trusted the authority figures. For the first time in my life, the authority figures aren't looking out for what's best for me... For the first time in my life, I have to actually fight the forces that I previously thought only sought justice.

After he said this to me, I was inspired. I now understand. I have to lead this path. No one can really help me get there. They can only help show me the way. My dad said,

Dad: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You can, however, show the horse where the water is, then it will decide when it is ready to drink.

Show me the way, only I can take myself there.

You're dad seems like a cool guy, and your friend sounds like he knows what he's talking about, Elwood.  I understand some parents feel as if they are leaders and either push to stop the transitioning or pull you around on a leash to get it going, but your Pop seems great about it.

I've never bothered asking anyone what they thought of me starting to transition, it just seemed stupid.  They wern't the ones who had to live with my mind and body, they shouldn't really get a say in what I do.  I've told a few close friends I'm trans but I never bothered to ask 'Does that sound like a good idea to you?'.
Sure, some give me their opinions and say I'm too young or that its a dumb idea and its all just a phase, and others say go for it, blah blah blah.  I don't really care how they would go about it or anything like that, (though if their idea sounds better than mine, then I take it), they can do what they want with their lives.

I actually bothered to ask my best friend if he thought me transitioning was a good idea, and if he supported me on it or not.  He's been my best friend since we were 7 or 8, so I value his opinion slightly.  It hurt a little when I said I was just being stupid and weird again, and that I would grow out of it, but I'm not going to stop trying to be me just because he wasn't cool with it.
Same with my girlfriend, if she had said she wasn't okay with it and that she didn't want to date me anymore I was fine with that, but she wouldn't have stopped me.
And, if I ever get the Cajones` to tell my parents, I wont care if they're cool with it or not either, easy come, easy go.  though I would love them to death if they were supportive.

I see it this way, its my body and its my decision to make.  If I want to get a tattoo I'll get a tattoo.  If I want a penis I'll get a penis.  I wont get a tattoo of a penis, but you get the idea.

Thats all kind of a ramble on type thing, but its my view.

[Elwood]

Yeah. My dad's a smart dude. He has genius IQ. For serious. It's pretty nice to have such a level-headed parent.

I know it seems stupid. But see, I've never had any independence in my life. Maybe you first had independence when you were 12, but whenever you first had it, it was scary. It always is. My first taste of independence at 18 years old. It's hard, and I have to take small steps. So of course I cared what others thought about my safety. Of course NOW I realize their opinions don't matter, although I still have to bend over backwards far enough to get financial aid from my family. I could start T today. My step mom doesn't feel I'm ready. My dad, however, is more on my side. I think that when push comes to shove, it will happen.

I don't think anyone would have stopped me. They never did change my mind. They just made me look at myself more and take more time to make an intelligent decision. I've thought about it a lot more so asking for any more input would just be stalling on my part.