Question about a Therapist.

[Wraiven]

  I am planing to take my next big step after coming out to my family.  I have a therapist in mind, but im not sure if he would meet a sergeons requirments I guess.... I am planing on calling him or his office and getting some information, but what kind of questions should I ask and what should I look for?

[Elwood]

Is this your first time seeing a therapist? Because surgery isn't going to be talk right away. I've been undergoing therapy for about 5 months and they won't even really talk about HRT.

[Wraiven]

Is this your first time seeing a therapist? Because surgery isn't going to be talk right away. I've been undergoing therapy for about 5 months and they won't even really talk about HRT.

Oh I am aware of that, I know its a long ways down the road. I just want to know what qualifications a therapist must meet befor a sergeon will awknowledge the therapist. I dont want to spend lot of money and stuff on a therapist only for it to be for nothing in the end.

[NicholeW.]

Call the surgeons' offices and find out, or email them. I would presume that what they all want is some assurance that you aren't psychotic and want the op for some reason along those lines. In that case any licensed professional should do.

Although I would suggest that you work with someone who doesn't need you to 'lead' them as they discover "transsexuality" or "transgendered" existence. But, that would be your comfort or not.

Best of luck with the one you've chosen.

Nichole

[Wraiven]

Call the surgeons' offices and find out, or email them. I would presume that what they all want is some assurance that you aren't psychotic and want the op for some reason along those lines. In that case any licensed professional should do.

Although I would suggest that you work with someone who doesn't need you to 'lead' them as they discover "transsexuality" or "transgendered" existence. But, that would be your comfort or not.

Best of luck with the one you've chosen.

Nichole

Thank you very much Nichole!

[Elwood]

Well, they've got to be a therapist. That's a few steps above a counselor. They may have to specialize in GID. That's what I've heard. I'll have two therapists, one for anxiety/OCD and one for GID, because my anxiety therapist cannot assist me through transition. So I believe a specialist may be required.

Also, since a lot of surgeries are done over seas... I'm not even sure if having qualification from an American therapist would matter. I'd have to look that up. I haven't because I figure I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Planning that sort of thing ahead of time is just plain obsession... Planning it earlier (in this case) won't make it easier or faster. The standards of care will remain the same no matter how early you know.

[glendagladwitch]

Is this your first time seeing a therapist? Because surgery isn't going to be talk right away. I've been undergoing therapy for about 5 months and they won't even really talk about HRT.

Holy crap!  Get a new therapist!

[Elwood]

Is this your first time seeing a therapist? Because surgery isn't going to be talk right away. I've been undergoing therapy for about 5 months and they won't even really talk about HRT.

Holy crap!  Get a new therapist!

For serious?

Well, they don't want to rush transition with me... I'm 18, so they believe (for the same reason I have to fight for a hysterectomy) that I'll "regret it later." Now, eventually, I'll become more assertive. I'm an adult and I can make that decision for myself. But I don't feel an urgent rush... I think that's the only reason we haven't started T. I don't see the need to hurry.

Also, my mother... I'll be seeing her in August. If I started T now, things would be horrendous. I'd prefer to start AFTER that... but I will see her again in December. Makes things a little tight... then I'd probably see her again in the spring, then maybe the summer, then the next December... I can't keep waiting to please her. I've got to transition some time... but I just turned 18 in March. I may be a legal adult, but I am still just a dumb kid. I'm not ready for that decision, no matter how sure I am. Sometimes that's how life is, and I've got to be mature and accept that...

Now, currently I'm with a counselor. She can't talk about HRT. But hopefully soon she'll refer me to a therapist. If she doesn't, I'll seek one out on my own. See, I was with a therapist in southern California, then moved to northern. The state is so big, that the two divisions are separate, so I had to start over. Technically, I've only seen a counselor ONCE up here, so that may explain some of my struggle. I have to start all over... tell them about my self harm, my struggles, the specifics of my condition, etc... It may be another 5 freakin' months of work. I just don't know what to do. And when the time DOES come and I go to visit my mother and step father, will they even let me into the house? They are very against this. I may have to leave them forever.

[pennyjane]

different surgeons have different requirements.  for insurance purposes most reputable us surgeon's like to adhere pretty closely to the hbsoc, even if they aren't really comfortable with them.  my therapist is not a member of the hb society just for that reason, but her letter was sufficient for my surgeon.  i had met and surpassed all the requirements of the soc anyway.

personally i think it only fair to offer up a pretty good resume before asking a surgeon to make such radical changes in one's anatomy.  some of us are old enough to remember the johns hopkins debacle of the late 60's and early 70's when grs was offered to almost anyone who walked in the door mouthing the magic words, "born in the wrong body."  what they found out was alot of people were not actually good condidates for grs.  obsessive crossdressers and transvestites learned the words as well as transsexuals and later came to find grs to be a terrible mistake.  it didn't take many lawsuits for johns hopkins to suspend the procedure altogether and have not recovered fully yet.  it was this that led to the development of the hbsoc and for the most part it has proved pretty effective.

if you are seeing a therapist with experience in dealing with gender issues he or she will probably be pretty well versed in the process and will be able to help guide you through and help you to make good decisions for your own personal circumstance.  if you aren't dealing with a therapist with experience in dealing with gender issues, i'd recommend finding another therapist who does.  i cannot quantify the help i have recieved from my therapist...she has always held my feet to the fire, making me be sure of the steps i was taking.  she has taught me alot and according to her has learned alot from dealing with me.  if not for our professional relationship i think i'd like to have her for a friend.

[Elwood]

if you are seeing a therapist with experience in dealing with gender issues he or she will probably be pretty well versed in the process and will be able to help guide you through and help you to make good decisions for your own personal circumstance.  if you aren't dealing with a therapist with experience in dealing with gender issues, i'd recommend finding another therapist who does.  i cannot quantify the help i have recieved from my therapist...she has always held my feet to the fire, making me be sure of the steps i was taking.  she has taught me alot and according to her has learned alot from dealing with me.  if not for our professional relationship i think i'd like to have her for a friend.

That's a deal-setter for me! I've got to see a specialist... There's no reason for me to sit through this counseling process. I'm ready to really start moving towards stability. I need to see a therapist for anxiety and one for GID...

[glendagladwitch]

some of us are old enough to remember the johns hopkins debacle of the late 60's and early 70's when grs was offered to almost anyone who walked in the door mouthing the magic words, "born in the wrong body."  what they found out was alot of people were not actually good condidates for grs.  obsessive crossdressers and transvestites learned the words as well as transsexuals and later came to find grs to be a terrible mistake.  it didn't take many lawsuits for johns hopkins to suspend the procedure altogether and have not recovered fully yet.  it was this that led to the development of the hbsoc and for the most part it has proved pretty effective.

The psychiatrist who wrote my surgery letter was doing his internship at Johns Hopkins during that time.  He was actually in charge of intake and recommending who got surgery.  But a new head of the department wated to shut down the SRS program there, so he saw to it that all the good candidates were denied surgery and visa versa.  He set out to show that SRS is not a good treatment and that is what he did.  It was intentional.  And the percentage of patients who regretted surgery was highly misrepresentative.

As a general rule, I think that very few who seek surgery are mentally unstable.  It is a bit of a myth imho.  I know some transitioners that turned back, but none of those had any surgery at all.  If we did away with the SOC I think we would not see the dreaded flood of regretful post ops. There are surgeons in Thailand who do not require the letters and they do not see a lot of regretfull clients as far as I know.  The expense of surgery and delay between setting the date and day of surgery are at least enough to deter those who are not really committed to getting surgery.  And if someone has had breast implants or FFS or testestosterone treatment, then they are probably not likely to regret srs.  There are certainly very rare cases of those who have regretted surgery, but they complied with the SOC and still regretted it.  Subjecting the rest of us to the stigma of mental patient status is just not warranted.