Welcome to the club! I'm 58 and undergoing regular 4 hour electrolysis sessions. Yes, it is painful, yes, it's expensive, and yes, it has to be done. It's just part of transitioning. I'm having electrolysis for facial hair and eyebrows. Everything else I shave.
When I have an area cleared, the dormant hair that will grow in is usually white, which does not respond to laser any more than gray hair does. You may wish to speak to a dermatologist concerning your problems with electrolysis, since laser will not help you with gray or white hair. Electrolysis is your only real option.