What Does 'Romance' mean to You?

[Nero]

Now, there are many things romantic in this world, but I'm talking in a love/relationship context here.
Just share your meaning of romance. Anything goes.

[MeghanAndrews]

Hi Nero,
To me, romance is best when it's unplanned. It's the way that a guy can do things that I wouldn't be expecting and that would make them all the more special. I'm having a bad day so he might just get me in the car and take me out to a nice dinner. We planned for a dinner and he decides to make it a picnic to watch the sunset. It's the phone call to me during the day to see how I'm doing, if I'm smiling. It's the way that I'll say bye to him in person then walk across the street, turn around and see him still watching me and wave with a knowing glance. Romance is when you know that someone loves you and they take little steps to just show that to you. It isn't about a calculated move, that, to me, means even less.  Roses on Valentine's day = blah. Nice dinner, then movie, then sex, what?

No thank you. Guys, do cute things that say I love you, come straight from the heart and do them when we least expect and you will have our hearts forever. We are fragile, we need reassurance that you love us. Don't ever take that for granted, please.

[Lisbeth]

Romance has to do with love rather than sex.  I should qualify that by saying that, just because it's love doesn't mean it's romance or that sex can't be romantic.  You can do lots of practical things out of a sense of love, but scrubbing out the bathroom for your darling isn't usually considered romantic.  And making a trail of rose petals that leads to the bed is generally considered a romantic gesture.  But the expression of love is central to romance.  The essense of romance is in expressing to the other person how much you love and value hir.  That being said, I've been told often enough in the last several weeks that excessive expressions of love are not really appreciated the same way that loving actions are.  So the question is what kinds of thoughtful and caring actions constitute romance?

It may be a candle-light dinner for two or a walk in the rain or cuddling before a fireplace.  But in any case, the important thing is that you demonstrate that you are putting your loved one first in your thoughts, and that you are sharing your deepest self with hir.  Zie should be experiencing the fact that you are giving hir the gift of yourself.  This means you have to be willing to truly listen to what hir says and to in turn speak from the heart.  It means that you demonstrate a willingness to work hard to make the relationship a success. 

While there is value in unplanned sponteneity, you should also use intentionality in thinking about what kinds of shared memories you are creating for hir and yourself.  Imagine what you would like to remember about this day ten years from one, and try to create it.  Make good memories and it will be romantic.

[Elwood]

I don't have a meaning, since I don't have any experience. I feel like I can't even feel romance; that a part of me is dysfunctional. I can't feel intimacy. The closest thing I've felt to intimacy was deep friendship.

[sd]

Simplest answer... Being wanted.

Show that you want her, make her feel that you want her in your life, and not just sexually (though making her feel sexy can help). The other girls nailed it, you don't need to overdo it, or shower her with gifts or words.

[whatsername]

To me romance is any actions taken by my partner and myself that leave me feeling warm and fuzzy inside.

My idea of romantic actions are sometimes very different from what we are presented with as "romantic."  However, food is one that always works.

[Janet_Girl]

To me romance is sudden little action that shows you care.  A kiss on the neck while I'm cooking dinner.  A single red rose for no reason.  An arm around my waist as we are sleeping.  A phone call in the middle of the day just to say 'I Love You'.   Coming home from work to find that you have made dinner on the patio.  Slow Dancing in the middle of the day, just because.

Being showed that you are needed and wanted by the one that you love.

Janet

[Sephirah]

Specifics

Here are a few of my personal ideas of romance:

~ An impromptu massage after I've had a hard day at work without me having to say anything.

~ Slow dancing when a song comes on the radio just because the mood takes you.

~ Turning off the TV, particularly when there's something on you want to watch, because you want to spend the evening in the company of your loved one, holding each other and perhaps doing nothing more than talking about whatever's on your mind.

~ Finding your birthday (or other special event) transformed into a plethora of all your favourite things, some of which you didn't even know your loved one knew about.

~ A poem, or piece of prose, beautifully expressing the way your loved one feels about you... or filled with similies comparing you to all the beautiful things in the world... sent totally out of the blue.

~ A walk in the moonlight... just two people under a starlit sky, revelling in each other's company.

Generally

Anything that shows thought, beyond the accepted relationship practices, that makes me feel as though our relationship isn't just your 'off the shelf' affair. Things that relate to conversations we've had, intimate details. Like... "she likes that, I remember her telling me. I'll incorporate that into something without her knowing."

Roses may be a traditional symbol of romance... but, for me, the difference is that if I was allergic to roses, and my partner took that into account and did something differently instead... that, to me, would be more romantic than getting the roses anyway because of their symbolic value.

The thought and intent behind the act rather than the act itself... that's what romance means to me. If my loved one knew I preferred hot dogs to lobster, and took me out to get hot dogs instead of a fancy lobster dinner... that would be romance. Knowing each other, and what makes each other happy and feel part of something special... then doing things based on that knowledge.