What EXACTLY is it?

[le_joli_papillon]

What exactly is this RLE?
Is it mandatory??

From what I understand its where to dr makes you live as a woman for some time b4 prescribing you hormones and such
am I wrong?

[Jamie-o]

Yep.  You have it right.  And whether it's mandatory depends mostly on where you live.

[Beyond]

What exactly is this RLE?
Is it mandatory??

From what I understand its where to dr makes you live as a woman for some time b4 prescribing you hormones and such
am I wrong?

Nobody "makes you live as a woman", it's somebody you should want.

However, as part of the process of transition you need to be full-time (presenting as female 24/7/365 no exceptions) for a minimum of one year before you can recieve letters (2) of recommendation for SRS.  Download a copy of the Benjamin Standards of Care here:

http://www.wpath.org


full-time = RLT (real life test) = RLE (real life experience)

They're all the same thing.



Edit: Just re-read your question.  According to the Standards of Care (SOC) living full-time is NOT required before hormones.  That is a draconian requirement of certain countries and gender clinics.  The SOC allow hormones to be prescribed after a 3 month evaluation period by a therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist.  The path most people in the USA follow is:

Therapy---> HRT (hormone replacement therapy)---> RLE/RLT---> SRS


Again this may be different in some countries that apply their own rigid standards.



edit #2 Your profile says you're in the USA so RLT/RLE for you is the minimum one year period before SRS. 

[Mari]

i think the whole RLT thing is stupid.... Like can you play the part thing?
On the other hand how can someone tell weather or not you are doing RLT?
and i would really like someone to explain what does it mean to present
as a woman, like you can't transition and never put a make up or a skirt on...

[Kate]

i think the whole RLT thing is stupid.... Like can you play the part thing?
On the other hand how can someone tell weather or not you are doing RLT?
and i would really like someone to explain what does it mean to present
as a woman, like you can't transition and never put a make up or a skirt on...

I know, I've always hated the phrase "present as a woman," as it sounds like we're perfecting a role or act. Ick.

In general, the idea is to live 24/7 as you intend to post-transition. It doesn't mean you need to pass or "be a convincing woman," it just means you need to be consistent and honest about who you are. No going back to using your birth name just to avoid an awkward situation, no pretending to be your birth sex just to get by for a day. The idea isn't to see if you can "play the part," it's to see if you can deal with the rest of your life living as YOU intend to.

The Rule I found for myself was: if I had to ask myself if I was fulltime or not, then I wasn't.

As for tracking the RLE, that's really up to the therapist. Most just want you to maintain somewhat regular sessions with them so they can get a feel for how things are going. I made the mistake of not seeing my therapist for about 3 months once I was comfortably fulltime, which made things more difficult when I finally went back to her for my SRS letters... as she had to play "catch up" for quite a few more sessions before feeling confident enough to "approve" me.

~Kate~

[Northern Jane]

The RLE/RLT is a legacy from the old days (1970's) when a person requesting SRS was expected to disappear into the woodwork after surgery and it was meant to "get you feet wet" and "prove" to yourself and others that a woman's life was what you wanted and that you were capable of living a woman's life.

I suspect, as things changed, it was retained as a way to determine if you would truly be happy in whatever situation you would end up in after surgery.

With 'surgery on demand' in many countries now, I don't think it is as relevant - you pays your money and takes your chance.

It never was a "hard and fast rule" but a guideline. In the 1960's and early 70's I had lived nearly 10 years part time en femme (weekends and whenever I could get away from home) and when the opportunity for SRS came up, I had the full support of all my medical people.

The time en femme was very important to me and I learned a great deal. Being a teenager at the time, I learned makeup, fashion sense, and most importantly I learned a lot of the social skills that make 24/7 transition/SRS a snap. With that background, I slipped straight into stealth with nary a ripple.

[Janet_Girl]

Thanks Kate,

i think the whole RLT thing is stupid.... Like can you play the part thing?
On the other hand how can someone tell weather or not you are doing RLT?
and i would really like someone to explain what does it mean to present
as a woman, like you can't transition and never put a make up or a skirt on...

I know, I've always hated the phrase "present as a woman," as it sounds like we're perfecting a role or act. Ick.

In general, the idea is to live 24/7 as you intend to post-transition. It doesn't mean you need to pass or "be a convincing woman," it just means you need to be consistent and honest about who you are. No going back to using your birth name just to avoid an awkward situation, no pretending to be your birth sex just to get by for a day. The idea isn't to see if you can "play the part," it's to see if you can deal with the rest of your life living as YOU intend to.

The Rule I found for myself was: if I had to ask myself if I was fulltime or not, then I wasn't.

As for tracking the RLE, that's really up to the therapist. Most just want you to maintain somewhat regular sessions with them so they can get a feel for how things are going. I made the mistake of not seeing my therapist for about 3 months once I was comfortably fulltime, which made things more difficult when I finally went back to her for my SRS letters... as she had to play "catch up" for quite a few more sessions before feeling confident enough to "approve" me.

~Kate~

As always you seem to come my aid when I need to make choices, even when I haven't asked about.

I had to make a decision today as to whether or not to go to my laser session as me or as him.  No Makeup to cover the beard.  And I am selling my bike, so I need to show it.  Now I know what to do.  Just be me. 

Thanks Big Sis.

Love,
Janet

[Elwood]

OMG OMG OMG. Pretty picture.

Anyway, it is pretty much mandatory, and you'll (probably) enjoy it, because you finally get to be yourself. Hormones and surgery is just an extension of who you already are. RLE is expressing that part of you full time.

[NicholeW.]

What exactly is this RLE?
Is it mandatory??

From what I understand its where to dr makes you live as a woman for some time b4 prescribing you hormones and such
am I wrong?

You're not already full-time, Happy Butterfly? Given your avatar, I would have thought you were!!

But, yes, Beyond, Jane, Kate and Elwood have explained it quite well.

O, yes, welcome to Susan's! Somehow I've managed to miss you! So sorry. I'll be looking forward to seeing more of you.

All the very best,

Nichole

[Kate]

I should probably mention that your therapist defines what the "RLE" requirements are for her to write an SRS letter. Most will follow the guidelines mentioned, but in the end... it's up to them.

My point being: ask your therapist

~Kate~

[Elwood]

I should probably mention that your therapist defines what the "RLE" requirements are for her to write an SRS letter. Most will follow the guidelines mentioned, but in the end... it's up to them.

My point being: ask your therapist

~Kate~

->-bleeped-<-. I need to see that therapist soon. I want to start living full time as soon as possible.

Thursday is when I find out whether my counselor is going to refer me or if I'm going to have to call the therapist myself (no referral is required to see this guy).

[Janet_Girl]

Best of luck, Elwood Love.

Hopefully the new one will help you in your decision making about coming out and Full Time.

Love,
Janet

[sneakersjay]

I'm full-time.  But what does that really mean?  I don't pass at ALL.  So is it really living full time as a male if I don't pass?

Technically I think so.  T will help, but I'm not there yet.

Jay

[Kate]

I'm full-time.  But what does that really mean?  I don't pass at ALL.  So is it really living full time as a male if I don't pass?

For me, I figured fulltime just meant I wasn't hiding whatsoever anymore. Long before my name was legal, I made appointments with the dentist or doctor as Kate (and explained my legal name was still male). Whenever I bumped into someone I knew, I told them my name was Kate now too. I had come out to everyone who needed to know (family, friends and neighbors). I didn't debate whether my clothes were "andro enough to avoid trouble" anymore. I identified myself as Kate whenever making calls, business or personal, even though in the beginning I was constantly "sir'd" at first and it created confusion. "Oh well," i figured, "this is the life I'm heading into, so I'd better figure something out or get used to it."

For me, "fulltime" wasn't about passing... it was about the INTENT, the absolute 100% commitment to making this work regardless of any "setbacks" or disappointments.

I didn't "flaunt" it, but I made every effort within the means I had at the time to transition, whether I passed or not. Although to be fair, I waited until I WAS passing more often than not before I committed myself

~Kate~

[Elwood]

Hm. Well... my dad asked me yesterday what full time was. "How do you PROVE that you're a man? How can they tell that you're REALLY living full time?" He's concerned, because he wants me to be consistent. Pretty much if he catches me doing anything out of line he's letting the counselor know. He doesn't want me on hormones if I'm not 110% a man. It's a bit of a difficulty. I am just 18, so I'd still consider myself a boy. I can't do somethings a lot of grown men can or "should" do (like support a family, father a son or something).

I've pretty much accepted my new name as a nick name, and I'll start using it... well, I guess next semester. I need a fresh start and it's only a couple months away. I'll be telling the people at my LGBT group about my new name, so that'll help me try it on.

I tried to explain to my dad that full time isn't about being "a man" or "a woman." It's about commitment to transition. It's a test to see if the person can really handle being in "a man's" or "a woman's" shoes for 3 months. It's really a smart idea, but I have no idea how they prove that you're really doing it.

[Janet_Girl]

There are various ways, such as getting ID in your gender name, legal changing your name, and generally living your life as your gender.

Other than that I guess they just take your word for it.

Kate, Nichole, Cindybc, Wing Walker and all of the others that have gone before would know more about it than I.  This just MHO


There are too many to mention I know, These four I know from here.  I do not wish to upset anyone.  Apologies.

Janet

[kirakero]

I believe the real life experience is an important part of process.  Living as your true self is the point of being transgender anyways...  Surgery is nice, but it's not like anyone looks in your pants save for your partner and your doctor.  Being able to present as your true self rather then some guy that just doesn't fit in makes all the difference in the world.

The time since I transitioned was the happiest time in my whole life.  Surgery is just icing on the cake.

[Elwood]

Wow, then I might have to legally change my name a lot sooner than I thought. o_o;; Oh, well. There goes 64 bucks or whatever it is.

[Kate]

I have no idea how they prove that you're really doing it.

I think experienced therapists can "just tell," lol. I made a point to show mine my new License and Credit Cards, and even offered to bring in signed statements from my employer, relatives and maybe even neighbors verifying that I "was Kate" for the prior year. But she said it wasn't necessary... and just asked that I attend more sessions so she could get a feel for how I was doing.

~Kate~

[kirakero]

so she could get a feel for how I was doing.

Take your monies~!  >.>;;;