Shopping with Mum

[Lutin]

I think my Mum has started to figure things out for herself or something, 'cause I just had the best shopping day with her yesterday!

I hate clothes shopping with a passion, but a couple of nights ago Mum suggested we go have a Girls' Day Out (i.e. shopping), and she's been really stressed out recently (her mum's in hospital), and she sounded so keen that I couldn't really say no (and she's usually so busy running around after my brother and Dad that she doesn't often get to go out and have fun). So yesterday we went to the local shopping centre, and our main quest for the day was to find pants for Mike. So we went to The Red Spot Boutique (a.k.a. Target), and we're looking through the guys' section, and they had these men's T-shirts with interesting/funny prints on them ("Genius at Work", and "International Sarcasm Society: Like We Need Your Help"). Or, not necessarily funny-I'm-going-to-die-laughing, but certainly better than the women's "Princess" etc. So I was looking at the sizes, and Mum said something to the effect of "you can get one if you want, I don't mind. And they're on special, so you might as well get a couple." Which shocked me a little bit, 'cause last time I went on a pub crawl I had to get a men's T-shirt 'cause the women's wouldn't accomodate my bustiness (I'm sure there's irony there...), and when she found out she seemed a bit surprised that I'd been happy to settle for it.
     But anyway, so we're wandering around, and we came to the men's jumpers, and she asked if there were any there that I liked, (I'd previously shunned the women's). *And then*, having chosen one, asked if there were any others that I liked, and went wandering through the men's section, completely ignoring the women's from then on, to see if she could find anything else for me. Then, on our way to go have coffee (magic word!), we passed a jewellery shop that was having a closing down sale, and they had fob watches for $5 down from $50, and when Mum saw them she said "you like clocks and watches, don't you? Would you like one?"

So I can't believe it! Not only did she not question my preferring the men's clothes, she actually helped pick some out for me! I love my Mum, and I know she's open-minded, but willing and unquestioningly helping to pick out men's clothes for your daughter is not something I ever imagined her doing.

Anyway, thought I'd share.

Lutin

[nathan]

Yay for unexpected surprises!  

[lady amarant]

Now that seriously rocks. Your mom is cool. 

~Simone.

[Elwood]

My parents and I have made a deal. We shop men's but I can only have it if it fits properly. That's a little hard, because I have quite the waist. But some stuff does fit.

Now, those are TWO of my parents.

My others parents resist the idea. Want me to dress girly. "Stop pretending to be a boy already," they say. And I say, "Stop trying to make me pretend to be a girl." It's an issue. But they compromise and let me dress "unisex." It's irritating, because I'm absolutely thrilled when I get to go into the men's/boy's section. The socks are wonderful, and I like how I look in a lot of the stuff. My dad (from the group of parents who DO let me shop in men's) hopefully will take me out more, and then buying guy's clothes will be a normal thing. But I'm sure most people at first get a little excited to be exposed to what they want. I know when a transgirl gets her first dress that's got to be very exciting.

I dress pretty "flamboyantly" because that's sort of the style I tend to like. The issue is that if I don't do it right, I look like a girl. I'm still working on it... certain things work and other things don't. If I could dress ANY way I wanted, I'd dress in class all the time. Button down shirts with either slacks or jeans. I like suspenders, too, but I haven't seen a good durable pair that I want to get yet... I'm getting new glasses soon and I want to find a "classic" or even "vintage" looking pair. I don't like the main stream styles at all...

Now, if I had a masculine chest, I would wear the "Princess" shirt. Because that would be funny. But because I have an A cup, just enough roundness to look feminine, I don't do that. If I have top surgery, one of the first shirts I'll get will probably be pink. Lol. I certainly already want the shirt that says "real men wear pink." 

Pink is NOT my favorite color, but it looks pretty good on me. I prefer blues, blacks, whites, and grays. I'll wear other tones but... it just sucks sometimes that my body limits my choices. If my body was more masculine, it would speak for itself, but for now, I have to dress in a way that hides feminine qualities and accentuates masculine ones. I want some of those tight white tank tops guys wear under their shirts, but they're sheer enough fabric that you can tell I have a female chest underneath. It becomes some sort of peep show every time I want to dress casually. I really hate it.

[NicholeW.]

O, Lutin, what a great story and what a wonderful mum. You are truly blessed! That's is just simply wonderful.

Nichole

[Elwood]

O, Lutin, what a great story and what a wonderful mum. You are truly blessed! That's is just simply wonderful.

Nichole

NEW PIC! I like it, Nichole.

And I agree. It's really nice. Hope things continue to go well for Lutin.

[NicholeW.]

NEW PIC! I like it, Nichole.

O my! You are such a wonderful man, Elwood. So observing! You will go far, luv.

Thanks for saying so.

Hugs,

Nichole

[Lutin]

Thanks peeps (sorry!!!)!

'Nother trivial but kind of nice incident this evening (but didn't want to start new thread for it): my friend (whom I've told 'bout gender issues) and I did French and Spanish together at uni, and, naturally, he's always used the masculine and I the feminine. Anyway, I dropped him home tonight after catching up with a couple of friends, and as he got out of the car, he said "Adios, amigo!" Not amiga, the feminine, but amigo, the masculine. And he's brilliant at languages, the last time he was confuzzled by gender agreement was two years ago ("la problema", instead of el problema), so it's highly unlikely he simply forgot to replace the "o" with an "a", especially given that before now he's always used amiga, contenta, chica etc. for me.

Ahhh.....

Besos ,

Lutin

[jenny_]

yay!, thats fantastic Lutin.  I'm really pleased for you. 

And i don't think its trivial, it feels so wonderful when a friend just understands and does these little things without being prompted at all.  It just shows you that you have such a wonderful, accepting friend.

[Elwood]

You know, I've been getting more acknowledged too, lately. I think people are gradually catching on to my cues. But I don't think people are respecting my gender identity yet. If they "know" I'm "really" a girl, they won't call me a he.

[Aiden]

LOL.  I used to make excuses lol.  Some of them true.  Such as hard to find womens shoes in my size (well it was hard to find any size 10's that were malish looking tennis shoes lol)

Or feet sweat to much (kinda true) but allowed me to get the mens socks.

Of course there were some things, just blown off as picky, such as my preference for T-shirts in dark colors.  Of course there was the part where most womens blouses are to snug around the arms and shoulder for me... oh and show I have breasts to much.

I shop for myself alone now so don't have to make excuses.


Still anyways, very cool she does that for you      Though I admit, I don;t cloths shop much lol.  I still wear stuff from 3-6 years ago lol

[Elwood]

It's hard to find men's shoes in my size. But I got away with buying boy's sandals today. My feel are quite short, they aren't narrow nor wide. Because they're in between and short, it's hard to find shoes that fit in either mens or women's size. I tend to stick to Converse because they're unisex shoes. I next want a pair of Vans as they are also unisex in style.

Men's socks so far make me sweat worse than the girl's socks do.

I also prefer t-shirts in dark colors, only because my chest shows through. Post-op I'll stick to white, because I love how white looks. I just can't wear it because of my chest... it really irritates me.

I'm hoping to shop alone sometime... pick up some of the stuff that my parents aren't comfortable with. >3>;; They did help me get external clothes, but now I want to see what selections I have for intimate wear. I think they're uncomfortable with me buying boy's underwear, but I hear they're really quite nice. I'm also interested in finding some guy's tank tops that fit me reasonably to wear under t-shirts. I have 2 tank tops that are falling apart (my step mom repaired on of them) but that repair will eventually lose it's grip. Come the next time I need tanks, I'm looking in the little boy's section.

[trapthavok]

Congrats on having a cool mom!!! My mom just looks the other way sometimes if I happen to be with her shopping and wander off to the mens section, but I like shopping alone or with friends. I don't really like to shop, but for now I'm in shopping mode because I'm excited about getting clothes I like again.

It's hard to find men's shoes in my size. But I got away with buying boy's sandals today. My feel are quite short, they aren't narrow nor wide. Because they're in between and short, it's hard to find shoes that fit in either mens or women's size. I tend to stick to Converse because they're unisex shoes. I next want a pair of Vans as they are also unisex in style... Come the next time I need tanks, I'm looking in the little boy's section.

Don't feel bad Elwood, I'm not that much bigger than you so I have the same problem. I'm somewhere around a 6 - 7 in Mens, so I haven't found any dress shoes yet at all. I'm a skater though so finding sneakers online from the men's section was easier for me. And as far as my body is concerned, my waist fits a boys 18 better than any men's sizes, but they're so hard to find I might be giving up soon and start investing in belts

[Elwood]

What bugs me is that a lot of the shoes I want are 7s. But I'm just not quite there...

I'm a boy's 14, a womans 0-1. I can't fit even the smallest men's size, so I have to work with kid clothes... 

[trapthavok]

What bugs me is that a lot of the shoes I want are 7s. But I'm just not quite there...

I'm a boy's 14, a womans 0-1. I can't fit even the smallest men's size, so I have to work with kid clothes... 

Well I'm more like a 6, 6 and a half but I like my shoes slightly loose so I get the 7s. If you want, you could always double sock them, I've heard of people doing that

I'm a women's 1 - 3.....The men's sizes do sort of make a leap from boys 20 to mens 28  (where'd all the other numbers go?!) but hey, depends on how big or small you want your clothes to be on you. I like my clothes loose (but not necessarily baggy) so I might make the 30 work for me, with the addition of a belt around my waist since the waist will obviously be too big.

[Elwood]

I'm wearing a boy's 1 right now in flip flops... >_>;; I'm nowhere's near a 7. Ugh. I don't know why I said I could fit a 7.

I like my clothes to fit. If they're too big, I look dwarfed.

[Aiden]

LOL  guess I'm fortunate there  Am a size 9 mens shoes.  XL mens t-shirt (though not sure what would be without breasts.. probably a medium.  Still working out the sizes in mens shorts/pants  admit most the shorts and pants wore in past were malish looking womens cloths, or stretchy so didn't need know certain perticular size.

[trapthavok]

I'm wearing a boy's 1 right now in flip flops... >_>;; I'm nowhere's near a 7. Ugh. I don't know why I said I could fit a 7.

I like my clothes to fit. If they're too big, I look dwarfed.

Damn :O you've got some tiny feet bro sorry to hear that

Yeah I know what you mean.

[Elwood]

LOL. Yeah. Everyone thinks it's "so cute." I don't mind having small feet, I just have difficulty finding the right shoes!