Would You Date a TS Admirer?

[Nero]

I don't know. I presume some would and some wouldn't. Some would be turned on by the extra hole and some wouldn't because they're not attracted to pussy and wouldn't know what to do with it.

[Elwood]

Well, that's good, I think.

Ugh. I still dread it, though. I feel like I can't enjoy sex without a dick, you know? Well, you don't know. But you get the idea, right?

It's just really hard for me to accept my body in this configuration.

[Kate]

You think too much! ... Kate seems to want someone she has figured out as far as their thinking goes.

It's how I feel. How I feel is valid. It's not "thinking too much." It's how *I* feel about it.

I'm not interested in "playing the field" or experiencing a wide range of people in intimate situations. I AM interested in finding The Right One (should my situation come to that). I DO find it important to understand *why* someone is interested in me. I (would) want to intertwine myself with someone's very soul, be 1 + 1 = 1. I can't have that with someone who wants "a transsexual," I can only have it with someone who wants Kate.

~Kate~

[joannatsf]

I don't have a problem dating an admirer so long as he's not married.  That seems to be a common problem for the ones I've gone out with.  I require they identify as queer though.  Wanting to be with trans women doesn't make one gay but it's a stretch to claim to be straight.  So long as we all know who and what we are it's ok.  My stuff isn't off limits either.  I don't get that much out of it but it's certainly not unpleasant and it makes my partner really happy.  In my mind that's a good thing!

[NicholeW.]

You think too much! ... Kate seems to want someone she has figured out as far as their thinking goes.

It's how I feel. How I feel is valid. It's not "thinking too much." It's how *I* feel about it.

I'm not interested in "playing the field" or experiencing a wide range of people in intimate situations. I AM interested in finding The Right One (should my situation come to that). I DO find it important to understand *why* someone is interested in me. I (would) want to intertwine myself with someone's very soul, be 1 + 1 = 1. I can't have that with someone who wants "a transsexual," I can only have it with someone who wants Kate.

~Kate~

Absolutely! and that's true for me as well. The question was about 'dating,' not LTRs. If I'm out to date, then in some ways I do "play the field." But, I might just let a ball bounce by me or roll between my legs if I don't like the look of it.

It's just I have to be in the game, unless I am convinced that the 'right person' is simply going to come looking for me and when he does I can let down my hair and he'll climb it and rescue me from the tower I'm imprisoned in.

The only thing ever puzzled me, even at four about "Rapunzel" was how would they have both gotten down the tower wall on her hair if he was carrying her. That seemed even then an insurmountable difficulty.

[Kate]

It's just I have to be in the game, unless I am convinced that the 'right person' is simply going to come looking for me...

Giggle... and hence my thread about WHY DON'T MEN SEE ME? Things I need have a tendency to find me. But men? Something's off there, I'm missing something somewhere. Using the wrong bait I 'spose.

But (if my situation changes) I WILL find Him... and Him me. And it won't be when I'm looking, it won't be after wading through a pool of varied men, or trolling clubs, or posting to dating sites. It'll be buying the same book at the same time in a bookstore... or some funny misunderstanding when out to dinner with friends... or I dunno. Whatever it takes. Whatever Fate finds amusing.

~Kate~

[NicholeW.]

It's just I have to be in the game, unless I am convinced that the 'right person' is simply going to come looking for me...

Giggle... and hence my thread about WHY DON'T MEN SEE ME? Things I need have a tendency to find me. But men? Something's off there, I'm missing something somewhere. Using the wrong bait I 'spose.

But (if my situation changes) I WILL find Him... and Him me. And it won't be when I'm looking, it won't be after wading through a pool of varied men, or trolling clubs, or posting to dating sites. It'll be buying the same book at the same time in a bookstore... or some funny misunderstanding when out to dinner with friends... or I dunno. Whatever it takes. Whatever Fate finds amusing.

I've no doubt that you will.

it won't be after wading through a pool of varied men, or trolling clubs, or posting to dating sites.

OMG!!! No, I think that would do for neither of us. But somewhere between staying home and that!! And you'd do fine with men if you just could manage to believe that as much as you believe this.

Nichole

[sd]

Why not.
As long as two people enjoy each other, where is the problem?

[MaggieB]

 I would have said, never, but I'm not so sure now. I am quite needy for affection. A TS admirer with the right look and approach could turn my head. Funny though at my age, not gonna happen. Still it is fun to muse. Maybe my prince will come. I would vastly prefer a princess though. I guess they can be TS admirer's too.

Maggie

[Nero]

I would have said, never, but I'm not so sure now. I am quite needy for affection. A TS admirer with the right look and approach could turn my head. Funny though at my age, not gonna happen. Still it is fun to muse. Maybe my prince will come. I would vastly prefer a princess though. I guess they can be TS admirer's too.

Maggie

Could very well happen. Plenty of divorcees and widowers out there.

[glendagladwitch]

I remember that the goal at one point was to date a guy stealth who freeks out when I tell him and then tearfully accepts that I am a woman and he is in hopelessly love with me.  But after a few years of guys freaking out and dumping me, sometimes with death threats mixed in, I came to realize that it is just not a realistic goal, and there is no such thing as unconditional love.  So I posted online as a post op and dated the respondents.  Met my spouse that way.  He'd dated one or two preops previously, but primarily cisgendered women.  We've been living together together monogomously now for almost ten years.

[JonasCarminis]

God, do I love men. But I just... my self esteem is crushed. Without a penis, I can't really pleasure a gay man the way he wishes. I can't be truly intimate with him, with raw interactions skin to skin. It'll be a rubber dick or something... It just torments me, the thought. I just keep thinking sexually it will never work out... maybe transition will make me feel different... I just don't know. I prefer men, love men, but it only seems to work in my fantasy world where I have a penis.

Well, I have no know firsthand knowledge of this, but from what I've heard from gay ftms, there are a lot of gay men who want to try it with them even if just for the curiousity. Sure, there are men who outright reject them but there are also men who are interested.

Hmm. But do they want to have anything to do with my vagina?

i could definitely deal with a FTM not wanting anything to do with his vagina.  personally, im a fan of the outdoors, even if your deck is little.

[Mari]

Sometimes i think like "why eould i date someone who likes me for my T status"
but then in a way it is like a big-boobed girl try to avoid dating with the guy who
likes her big-boobs....
Anyway, if you are liked only for your t status and some unpleasont physical reminders of
it thand definetly NO

[NomNom]

Never had it click with an admirer. But sure I guess... if it was the right guy. And if it was the kind who just thinks TS girls are cool people.

But the kind who only wants me because I still have a penis so they can live out some bicurious fantasies... @£$(¤!!! them.

[cindianna_jones]

I'm sure that I have.  I mean, I didn't pass very well in the very beginning. But I was never intimate with them. I just didn't feel comfortable in those times with myself.... you know... before GRS.  Besides, I was a right wing prude.

Cindi

[Lisbeth]

Sometimes i think like "why eould i date someone who likes me for my T status"
but then in a way it is like a big-boobed girl try to avoid dating with the guy who
likes her big-boobs....
Anyway, if you are liked only for your t status and some unpleasont physical reminders of
it thand definetly NO

While I might date someone who only likes me for my body, that would eventually become clear and I would have problems with that.  And I have had problems with that and gotten out because of it.  I want to be loved for a lot better reasons than just physical attraction.  But for all that, I have no objection to my beloved being attracted to my physical characteristics, whatever they are.  What I want is that should not be the only attraction.  I want to be loved for who I am, not what I am.

[Kate]

Sometimes i think like "why eould i date someone who likes me for my T status"
but then in a way it is like a big-boobed girl try to avoid dating with the guy who
likes her big-boobs....

GREAT point. I'm starting to reconsider my absolute NO! answer a bit. I wouldn't date someone who specifically liked my having male genitals, but if I was postop... and they knew it... and merely found my history sorta "exotic" or intriguing... well... maybe.

I guess my NO! reflexive reaction is mostly my insecurity and fear of someone liking me for ANY aspect of perceived maleness, either past or present. Maybe that's something *I* need to get over.

~Kate~

[lacitychick21]

I'm never getting rid of my box, so why should I care if it turns girls on?

HAahhaAHah!! I love you Nero! You're so awesome!

*ahem* anyhoo... Would I? Possibly, though it's a stretch. I've found "admirerers" to be a little strange. I mean, if you think about what the psychology may be behind it: We are a fetish -- sexual desires that may be too embarrassing to share with just anyone. It builds and builds into this compelling want. Some people like rough sex and to be choked and lightly beaten ( ); some people like feet. We're this sexual curiousity, not humans, to them. Eh, now, I should say this is my exprience. When I'm approached by a guy under the pretense of being trans, they act so. -- EW!! Like they want to just sex so badly! So, by and large, no; I probably wouldn't. I'll take my chances meeting really nice guys who have never heard of a trans girl/guy, tell them, and let the chips fall where they may.

I figured out what made trans bars/club soooooooo creepy. You walk in and you have the girls enjoying themselves... then you have all these individual men, lining the walls and occupying chairs -- by themselves. Most bars/clubs there are groups of friends that came together, laughing and having fun. These men at trans clubs would never tell their friends and family "I'm at the ->-bleeped-<- bar"! They're there alone hoping to act out a fantasy. It's just the creepiest thing to see these guys scope out the girls -- standing there with their hands in their pockets -- choosing!

I dunno. it's cowardly to me.

Thanks for reading!

[Drik]

I wouldnt mind being with a ts admirer.
Especially not if they were ts (especially FtM) themselves or butch lesbians.
Im kind of a ts admirer myself (just like Ive said in the ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- thread) and Im really attracted to masculine women. That being said, I want to add that I *never* see FtMs as masculine women, Im attracted to them because our bodies are the same.

[Janet_Girl]

I think that I would, but I would be interested in why he would be interested,  Does that make sense? 

I am with Kate.  I wouldn't because of my history or my condition, but if he knew and that it didn't matter to him then I might.

Like Elwood said dating a FtM would be ideal, because of the similar histories.
Janet