I'm not stalking you Luana, I swear. Its just that you keep posting and I keep having thoughts.
While I can't hope to fully understand the scope of your situation, is it possible that choosing such a name could actually open an opportunity for acceptance? By choosing your Aunt's name Renee, you are potentially showing a sign of respect for the family, for your heritage. At least that is how I saw it when I first read your post. While there may be friction now, that may not always be the case, and your name search could end up being an auspicious event.
From my perspective, if the name feels right, and using it would not have the opposite effect as the one I postulated, I would encourage you to go for it.
While my screen name here is Madison, I only chose it to give me a sense of anonymity, and because I had an irrational fear of people, even here, not accepting my somewhat unique, genderqueer identity. So I thought to choose a "Female" name to protect myself, and maybe use if I ever decide to be a drag queen on the weekends. But the funny thing is that I changed my name many years ago in real life. I too believe that there is meaning in names. I was born Richard. Which means among other things 'leader'. And while I never thought about it growing up, that was exactly the role I would assume, without even wanting it sometimes e.g. taking managerial positions that I didn't really want just because it seemed like what I should do. But I found that while I have leadership qualities, that is not really the essence of my being. I do however believe in life, in fun, in seeking out joy and new experiences. Thus when circumstances arose that humorously inspired me to change my LAST name, it only seemed natural to seek out a new first name. Many ideas came up, but in the end I settled on Zoe. While I am a crossdresser, I do not wish to be a woman or pass, but it didn't seem odd to choose a new name that for the most part is considered a female name. And that is the funny part, at least to me. I signed up at a transgendered/crossdresser forum and made a new "female" name, because the name Zoe to me is so intrinsically linked to my own unique male self and identity, that I thought it would make me a freak here at Susan's.
Names are important, Luana. Words have meaning, and meaning gives us purpose. Keep me informed if I should start referring to you as Renee.
