1) Are you currently in a relationship? How long have you been together?
- No, I'm single. Although I have a "friends with benefits" that may or may not lead to more, but I kinda hope not. I like him and am attracted to him, but not romantically. We met about a year ago, but we don't meet up often. A bit long-distance. We're not committed and I still sleep around with others on occasion, which he knows about. He's a gay cis guy, and a lot older than me. He's pretty average looking except from being 6'5" tall (2 meters), he's 68 yo and I wouldn't have guessed he's gay if I hadn't read it on his online profile on the dating site we met at. He's fine with me being trans and usually calls me his "boy" but on rare occasion he slips up and calls me "girl" which he corrects immediatedly. That makes me feel off, but the trans stuff is very new and confusing for him so I cut him some slack about it.
2) What are your experiences with dating as a trans person?
- It's been both a good and bad addition, I'd say. It's been both frustrating and an advantage, for me.
Have you been rejected because of it?
- I probably have been but can't remember any such occasion, it doesn't get to me if I'm rejected for any reason. I just shrug and move on to the next one. I'm very open about being trans in dating situations, so most who aren't into that simply don't approach me. However some guys I have been with expressed clear regret afterwards because of me being trans. That stung.
Has being trans made you uncomfortable with dating?
- Yeah, I hate that I have to bring up being trans to all potentials and it's annoying that so many still misunderstand it. But other than that, it doesn't keep me from dating and seeking sex partners. Nowadays it's more of an asset for me, cause many guys like that I have something "extra". And it gives me an excuse to post nudes of myself for hookup sites cause easier to explain my gender situation with pics than words, and oh boy, does it give me attention!
3) Have you had difficulties with finding sex partners? Have your genitals been a problem?
- Nah, it's been ridiculously easy. I get objectified a lot and many see me as "best of two worlds." Hardly all trans people like that (leaning to fetishisation), but I actually like it a lot, to be someone's fantasy and slightly worshipped. My genitals are far more likely to be raised to some kind of pedestal, and no one's ever told me they wished I had something different. They all really like my snatch. I get tons of messages from guys wanting to have sex with me, on hookup sites. Sometimes I get hit on at places like tumblr or facebook too. In real life not so much though, cause well, I don't go out and there's nowhere to go.
4) If you were in a relationship when you came out as trans, how did your partner take it? Did you continue together? Did you break up because of it?
- No, I was single when I came out as trans. Had just broken up with my manipulative second boyfriend half a year earlier. Took a few years before I got into a new relationship again. I met my third boyfriend shortly before I came out though, for a one night stand. And 2 years after that we became a couple. So he knew me both before and after coming out as trans. He's bi.
5) Did you notice a change pre and after transitioning of how easy it is for you to find company?
- Yes, definitely. It's much easier for me now to find company. I've gotten much more confident now that my body aligns much better with how I see myself gender-wise and it's more fun and exciting for me to be sexual now, and that confidence attracts people too. Also, I really enjoy dating in the gay world so much more than the straight world. Here I can be very sexual and myself and feel welcomed. A lot of people still call me a total sl*t anyway, but I take it as a compliment and I nurture that reputation. I was seen as a straight woman pre-transition but now live as a gay man post-transition, is what I mean by entering the gay world.
6) Anything else you wanna share?
- I'm not good with relationships (the serious kind) and casual sex is much easier for me to do and handle. I've been in 4 serious relationships in total, 2 before I came out and 2 after. All of them were messy, complicated, 2 were abusive and 3 of them ended badly. Only one of my exes I'm still in contact and friends with. At this point I really don't date anymore, but more so just sleep around and then if it would lead to something more with someone casual, that might become a serious relationship. Maybe. But I also want to wait with anything such, take a loooong break from serious relationships, cause I have a lot of issues I want to sort out first (not trans related), which I'm working on but it takes time. The single life is doing me a lot of good. So I'm not really looking for love at this point, but at some point in the future I know I will again. I know I'm not unlovable, trans or otherwise, and I handle solitude rather well as long as I get some sex from time to time. So I'm fine with being single and I'm not worrying about that.