a few months ago i had told my sister about me being who i am (i use these words cuz i seriously dont know if i have gid or if it's something else...) and she told my mom and now my whole family knows. that was kinda rough and wasn't the way i intended things to happen, but at least i don't have to explain anything. i had my first counseling session last week. it was pretty boring cuz all it was was her going through all the things she's supposed to say like "don't worry, all this is confidential" and "don't worry, none of this suprises me" and things like that. im currently out of town to play on the worship team for a church conference that's happening all week. yesterday the pastor who's family we are dear friends with said to me, "there's no mistake in the way god made you" completely out of the blue, which freaked me out. so now im worried that the one family i have safe haven outside of my own knows about me. it just seems that i'm finding that more and more people know about me each day and it's freaking me out. they tell me "don't worry, i don't see you any differently". lol it's funny how many people are telling me not to worry. the only thing im worried about right now is how many people know. both my parents are set on that my "condition" is a "lie from the devil". right now i don't care anymore. i'm open to anything. maybe it's a lie from the devil, maybe i have gid, maybe im just a crazed freak. i don't care anymore. i just want to find out who i am and be or become that person without questioning anymore. the cool thing is that my mom told me that if gid is the case, then she'll help me pay for hrt, srs, etc.
