Coming out to professors

[gravitysrainbow]

E-mailed all my professors lastnight, and just completely came out to them. Long e-mail, no chance for confusion. I've gotten replies from four out of five, and they were amazingly nice. Some highlights: one of my Japanese professors said that everyone in Japanese is referred to as Lastname-san, regardless of gender, so no big deal. The second Japanese professor, though, said she might also call me Michael-kun. "Kun" is definitely masculine, used for young boys. This makes me really happy. And my History professor said if he accidentally messes up, to just ignore him and mention it after class. Which is very cool. So yeah, just waiting on my math professor, but the politeness I've received so far is keeping me from worrying. This is going to be amazing.

[noxdraconis]

Nice.  I am still waiting to receive my official schedule so that I finally know who I have, but when I do I will have a nice long email for all of them as well.

[Elwood]

I'm going to be starting school soon, and I read in some FtM community awhile ago about e-mailing professors to tell them about preferred name and pronouns.

I did this exact thing and it worked like a charm. They've all been very helpful.

I came out to my Body Conditioning (PHYED) teacher in person. He looked very concerned, but he was also very helpful. I felt like I was chasing him away, though. Maybe he had somewhere to go. I have no idea. But the point is, I told him straight up and he said he'd call me by my preferred name and pronouns.

[gravitysrainbow]

I'm going to be starting school soon, and I read in some FtM community awhile ago about e-mailing professors to tell them about preferred name and pronouns.

I did this exact thing and it worked like a charm. They've all been very helpful.

I came out to my Body Conditioning (PHYED) teacher in person. He looked very concerned, but he was also very helpful. I felt like I was chasing him away, though. Maybe he had somewhere to go. I have no idea. But the point is, I told him straight up and he said he'd call me by my preferred name and pronouns.

I may have to do this with my math professor, if she doesn't reply by Tuesday.  I have hope that she will, though...but I'm glad to hear that you succeeded both by e-mail and in person.  Makes me feel less nervous about the possibility of looking my professor in the eye and explaining the situation.  Though knowing me, I'll probably come up to her before class and be like, "Um, yeahhh...I sent you an e-mail, did you get it?" and hope she says, "Oh, I haven't checked e-mail in awhile, you just reminded me!" and goes over and reads it. 

The last person I came out to in person was my mother, and that was about three years ago.  I'm just so much better at doing it through e-mail or IM.  Like you said in your blog, I get sortof...more feminine than usual, and probably play the victim a bit.  Hell, the two times I've been asked by people in positions of authority to change out of costumes I've been wearing (once at an anime con, and once when I was dressed as the Joker at the mall), I've almost started crying.  So yeah...something I need to work on.

[Elwood]

I'm going to be starting school soon, and I read in some FtM community awhile ago about e-mailing professors to tell them about preferred name and pronouns.

I did this exact thing and it worked like a charm. They've all been very helpful.

I came out to my Body Conditioning (PHYED) teacher in person. He looked very concerned, but he was also very helpful. I felt like I was chasing him away, though. Maybe he had somewhere to go. I have no idea. But the point is, I told him straight up and he said he'd call me by my preferred name and pronouns.

I may have to do this with my math professor, if she doesn't reply by Tuesday.  I have hope that she will, though...but I'm glad to hear that you succeeded both by e-mail and in person.  Makes me feel less nervous about the possibility of looking my professor in the eye and explaining the situation.  Though knowing me, I'll probably come up to her before class and be like, "Um, yeahhh...I sent you an e-mail, did you get it?" and hope she says, "Oh, I haven't checked e-mail in awhile, you just reminded me!" and goes over and reads it. 

The last person I came out to in person was my mother, and that was about three years ago.  I'm just so much better at doing it through e-mail or IM.  Like you said in your blog, I get sortof...more feminine than usual, and probably play the victim a bit.  Hell, the two times I've been asked by people in positions of authority to change out of costumes I've been wearing (once at an anime con, and once when I was dressed as the Joker at the mall), I've almost started crying.  So yeah...something I need to work on.

Yeah. I said it straight up. This is pretty much how it went.

Me: Hello. I have a somewhat personal matter I'd like to discuss with you.
Teacher: Okay.
Me: I'm quite glad you didn't call role today, seeing as my name is wrong on the roster.
Teacher: Oh?
Me: R for R****.
Teacher: Sara?
Me: Yeah. See, I'm going through a gender transition. I called the school and they said they wouldn't change my name unless I had legal proof of a name change, so I've had to come and tell each teacher ahead of time to prevent confusion in class.
Teacher: So what would you like to be called?
Me: My name's Dan.
Teacher: Dan?
(Everyone does that, like they've never heard that name before)
Me: Yeah.

He scribbled out my old name and wrote Dan there. He assured me that he'd try his best to be consistent. They get new rosters like every month, so I'll have to keep track with him. He's a coach, so he has to remember a lot more names than some of the other teachers. He said if he called me Sara on accident, he'd remember right away.

But yeah. I've come out to more people in person than I have online. I'm probably going to have to officially come out to my brother sometime in the next 3 days.

[tekla]

Me: My name's Dan.
Teacher: Dan?
(Everyone does that, like they've never heard that name before)

Nah, they are just repeating it to make sure they have it right.  It also helps to remember to say it.

[Elwood]

Me: My name's Dan.
Teacher: Dan?
(Everyone does that, like they've never heard that name before)

Nah, they are just repeating it to make sure they have it right.  It also helps to remember to say it.

I hope that's all it is. They never did that with my female name. 

[gravitysrainbow]

That happens to me sometimes too. But it's when I'm introducing myself. That's when I'm VERY paranoid that the person is thinking, "Okay, Michael...then this is a boy." Hasn't happened since I got a haircut, though...at least not that I can remember.

[tekla]

I'm into repeating things, to do that double check and also to imprint it in my mind.  Its also good for workplace safety stuff, so its not a bad habit.  In fact if you really want to remember you should try to use it three times.  But I'm guessing that if you went to the trouble to do it, then the proff thinks its important to you and is just trying to get it right.

[noxdraconis]

I just got my schedule in the mail and I emailed my professors the second I opened the letter (actually it took longer than that because I had to look up their email addresses).  Now I am checking my email constantly as I wait for a response. 

[Alyssa M.]

I may have to do this with my math professor, if she doesn't reply by Tuesday.  I have hope that she will, though...but I'm glad to hear that you succeeded both by e-mail and in person.  Makes me feel less nervous about the possibility of looking my professor in the eye and explaining the situation.  Though knowing me, I'll probably come up to her before class and be like, "Um, yeahhh...I sent you an e-mail, did you get it?" and hope she says, "Oh, I haven't checked e-mail in awhile, you just reminded me!" and goes over and reads it.

Math prof? She probably read it and totally forgot about it. Also, chances are slim she'll call role, refer to any students by name, or really want to speak to you at all. After all, you're a person, and people tend to intimidate mathematicians, bless their meek little hearts.

~Alyssa

[tekla]

College is not high school, and most of the professors have other things to do, really.  so they may confine thier email stuff to once or twice a week, just like office hours.

My office hours were late Friday afternoon into evening (4:30-6:30pm), and very early monday morning (6-8am).  You had to really want to talk to me, besides I was not really being paid to spend time with students, I was paid to lecure and do research.  Heck, for about 80% (if not more) of the stuff I taught I never even graded a single test, never read the precious snowflakes' little book reports, never had a clue as to who they were. 

I know its all important to you that all these men and woman treat you as you are now demanding.  But I had classes that had over 300 students in them, I really didn't care about them as people - in fact, it would be weird to do that.

P.S.  I never called roll.  Really, what is this like 7th grade.  I didn't care if you showed up or not.  I suppose people passed my course by studying the material very hard and never listening to me lecture, I know several who only went to lectures and never even bought the text book.  If it was important for you to be there, then you would show up.

[Arch]

P.S.  I never called roll.  Really, what is this like 7th grade.  I didn't care if you showed up or not.  I suppose people passed my course by studying the material very hard and never listening to me lecture, I know several who only went to lectures and never even bought the text book.  If it was important for you to be there, then you would show up.

At my school, the financial aid office now takes a very keen interest in knowing certain things about students who didn't pass the class. Like the last day that they showed up. I have to enter that date in my &%%)_$# grade report now, and the financial aid office can choose to honor or not honor financial aid agreements based on whether the nonpassing student has been bothering to come to class. Which means that I MUST take roll, whether I like it or not. I don't like. I'm not sure what profs in those large lectures do, but I have to send around a sign-up sheet or call names unless an assignment is due that day.

I wonder how many schools are doing this nowadays?

Anyway, it's not seventh grade, it's freakin' Romper Room.

Sorry I'm off topic here. I felt the need to rant. I am not a babysitter, and I resent being forced into that kind of role.