being presentable for the people

[widowprincess]

jobs.
i want a job where i can be myself, dress, and be considered a girl.
but...
what would be a more socially acceptable way for someone like me to dress and act?
what key points would i have to keep in mind when talking to someone?

[sarahb]

Key point: Be yourself.

[widowprincess]

yes.
ok.
i just feel strange.
i dress really outlandish.
but thank you again.
im sorry if i bother.

[sarahb]

No, no bother That's just the only good advice I can give. It took me a long time to feel comfortable with myself, to get over the feeling that I was doing it "wrong" when I finally realized that there really is no "right" or "wrong".

Recently my brother and I were talking and we got on the subject of me transitioning and he said, "But you don't act like a girl." I said to him:

"What does it mean to act like a girl? I act like myself."

I like to do a lot of the "extreme" type of sports like skateboarding (not so much anymore), wakeboarding, and I LOVE snowboarding. I'm not the most feminine girl you know, but that doesn't make me any less of a woman than anyone else. It's just who I am. And there are definitely a lot less-feminine girls around. So, just be yourself.

Also, I don't believe there should be any "socially acceptable" ways for us to act. That just feeds into the notion that we need to "fix" ourselves to fit in with "normal" people.

[Nigella]

Key point: Be yourself.

I agree with Sarah but on the other hand if you want a job then maybe you have to consider dress code. Let me explain, you have to consider the type of job you are going for and the interview process too. Outlandish may be a little over the top.

Women and men have to dress to a certain code at work but change when they get home. For me I hated having to wear a tie, lol. Hope that makes some sense.

hugs

Nigella

[barbie]

I do not think there is any magic bullet for transgendered people to be accepted naturally in our current society. Trial and errors. In my case (m2f), I talk with other women regarding fashion and styles. Women are very keen in how they would look to others, and could provide a lot of advice. My suggestion is to get advice from women.

Barbie~~

[sarahb]

Actually yes, if you're talking about just for work, then I would agree with Nigella and say that if there is a dress code that a company has in place then you'll probably want to abide by it.

[Rhye]

Yeah, for work, be yourself to that point. You can be yourself *and* be a professional-looking woman, which is probably all you really need to know.

[widowprincess]

im actually working as a dish washer right now... and i applied looking like a boy, for i didnt figure anybody would hire me any other way... so i work there as that. now im going back to my final year of high school this coming monday...where ill just be myself...
and by next summer, i want to burn my boy clothes pretty much. I HATE them lol. if i can get money, im going to try to go to Full Sail which deals with, the entertainment business, music, recording and all of that... things are looking down for me getting into that. Sarah, im sorry, i take things really personal sometimes when i truly shouldnt, but thank you so much, honestly. i am a singer.... i make electronic music... im learning guitar...  if i could get into any artistic career i would be happy. it could be recording music, it could be designing clothes. i dont know where to begin designing clothes at all, but ive always wanted 2, and everybody looks at me like im crazy... eventually ill cross the path and start learning, i do pick up things after thinking about them long enough..
these are all dream jobs though...
and.... unfortunately, maybe they are just that...
i live in a small town and its weird for we have gothy freaks, where i fit in, then we have rednecks, who beat me up whenever they get the chance.
im just giving stereotypes, i mean nothing of discrimination by what i say. i live in a trailer park lol
thank you for reading, i feel awkward talking all about me and getting away with it lol. i should do it more often, it feels great.
you guys should try it lol lovez ya

[Rhye]

There's a lot of opportunity in the arts. I'm planning to move to New York next year, and dabble in those before/through college to get a feel for what I want to do, since I live in a small town like you and we really don't have much to do here. If it strikes you, you could do the same.

I hope high school goes well for you this year, are you going to be fulltime?

[sarahb]

What program(s) do you use to make your music? My brother used to use Reason, but I think he switched to the more industry-standard program now, I forgot the name of it though. As far as designing clothes, I've known many people who design shirts. Nowadays it's easy and cheap. Just create the design in Adobe Illustrator and send it to some online companies who will print them for a dime a dozen (not literally ). Seems like that was the thing to do when I was in college. You could definitely do that, even if only in your spare time. I don't know about other clothes though.

[widowprincess]

i want 2 run away as well.. but i have really close friends, friends i would do anything for. they want me to get an apartment with them...
i dont know if that will work out.. but if it does i will be in heaven.. for i would give anything for them to be happy.
ill be fulltime as beautiful self, when school starts, unless i work on weekends. im not sure yet if my job will rearrange my schedule. um i use magix and fl studio, but im working on playing instruments, so i can perform and stuff. I want to talk more with you guys.. hopefully ill be able to message soon.

[Janet_Girl]

Women can be anything that they want to be.  To find a job as a woman, dress conservatively when applying.  A friend of mine is looking for a job as a woman.  She just goes and applies as she feels like.  That of being a woman.  She is highly educated in a selective field, and most of the positions she has applied for knew her male self which makes it hard for her.  So she is just looking for anything.

I am going to be transitioning at my current job.  And I just applied for a department manager's position in my company.  And it will be as a woman.

If you are happy as a woman the rest doesn't really matter, does it?

Mistress Janet

[tekla]

If you want to stay away from rednecks, stay away from most goth bands.  They are so horrible to work for that the only people dumb enough to work for them are like from Texas and Oklahoma.  Really.

Three of my good friends were called up to do the last Marylin Manson tour, they all laughed.

Be good at what it is you do, then you can dress pretty much as you wish.  But you have to know what it is you do first.  And you don't seem to know that.

[widowprincess]

i like to sing.
but its a difficult field to get into

[tekla]

Agreed.  Good singers are a dime a dozen, if not a dime per fifty dozen.  But the great ones, are rare.