Therapy Question

[BeverlyAnn]

Would any of you see a therapist who is very, very well respected as far as gender issues go, if that therapist was a friend?  I'm looking at starting therapy (a statement I never thought I would make) and one of the best therapists here is someone I have known quite well for several years.  I would think this would be a benefit but I'm wondering.

Beverly

[Robyn]

It shouldn't make any difference if this therapist is a professional.  The only problem I might envision is whether or not you always remember that he/she is your therapist when you are in the office and your friend when outside the office.  Otherwise, you might find yourself holding back.

IMHO

Robyn

[Suzy]

Beverly,

The general rule is no, you shouldn't do it if the therapist is close to you.  All good therapists want to have a certain amount of professional detatchment from their clients.  There are good reasons for this.  Primarily it is for your sake.  If you want therapy, go for the best.  If this is a person you trust, perhaps the best thing is for you to make an appointment and lay all of the cards on the table.  Ask for a referral to someone s/he trusts.


Best of luck!
Kristi

[Cindi Jones]

This is a conundrum isn't it?  My instinct would be no for reasons stated above. But on second thought, I can see some benefits.  It's really a tough call Bev.

Cindi

[tinkerbell]

Hmmmm, personally I think that the whole idea of seeing a therapist is to be able to talk to someone who doesn't know you and has an objective view on what you are going to about, generally youself.  Therefore, IMO I don't think it'd be a wise idea, but again it is your call hon.

tink

[togetherwecan]

a general rule for all therapists (they themselves) is to NOT work with friends.

[Kate]

a general rule for all therapists (they themselves) is to NOT work with friends.

True... I'm surprised she would take you as a client.

My own therapist realized at one point she was becoming TOO friendly with her clients, meeting with them for outside events, etc. She decided that it wasn't appropriate professionally, and detached herself from those things.

I dunno, I can see where it'd be helpful to work with someone who really knows you. On the other hand, you both *mean* something to one another, so there are other agendas and motives involved. Could you really tell this person *everything*? Or are there things you'd rather they not know? Might there be some deep, dark issues you don't want to discuss with a "friend?" Can you talk freely about the impact on mutual friends and family? And so on...

Kate

[debbiej]

I have a very good friend who is a therapist and I wouldn't not trade her friendship for anything. We've met twice since I shared my TG with her and she has been wonderful to talk to. She never tries to be a therapist to me, just a friend.

I would say you need to hold your friends close to you and don't put them in a place where they have to play two roles.

Debbie

[debisl]

If it were my choice I would go to the therapist you know and ask them would they mind giving you some names of good therapist in your area. After attending several sessions i would contact my friend and not give out the name of your threapist but go over some of the things you talked about and see if you are on track.
Friends are wonderful to have, but don't use them for non bias opinions. Remember they are human. They want to be your friend.
I had so many emotional problems I was a basket case. I need a therapist. For so many years I tried to go it alone. Not a good idea!
I am just so glad you are all here for me when I need you. Trust me I have needed you. I have had such a hard time opening up to people. I feel at home here at Susans.
"Susan if you can here me Thank You for this site", and thank you sisters for being my friend. I know most of you don't know the person on the other side of the post from adam or eve. I guess it is a game of trust. Those of you I have IM'ed I feel at ease with. Thank you all.

Bev I am sorry for getting off track here. I am in tears now. We just need to help each other.

Cry! Cry! Cry!

Deb

[BeverlyAnn]

Thank you all for your input and I'll hopefully make some kind of decision on Sunday.  We are having a special speaker at church and a reception afterward.  Erin is supposed to attend and maybe we can get a few minutes to chat and see where we are.  I'll ask her how she feels about having me as a client and what professional reservations she has. 

Could you really tell this person *everything*? Or are there things you'd rather they not know? Might there be some deep, dark issues you don't want to discuss with a "friend?" Can you talk freely about the impact on mutual friends and family? And so on...

Kate, I actually feel that I could open to her more than I could a complete stranger.  I'm not a person who trusts strangers easily and would probably hold back more.  And Erin actually knew me as Beverly close to 3 years before she ever knew me as Calvin.

Bev I am sorry for getting off track here. I am in tears now. We just need to help each other.

Deb, there's nothing wrong with a good cry.  Very cathartic.  If you need it, I've got a shoulder you can cry on.

Beverly

[Lisbeth]

Ordinarily I would say "no."  A therapist should not take on a friend as a client.  But since I know both you and Erin, I don't see a problem with it.

[BeverlyAnn]

Ordinarily I would say "no."  A therapist should not take on a friend as a client.  But since I know both you and Erin, I don't see a problem with it.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Girl, welcome back.  Consider yourself hugged fortyeleven times.  LOL

Beverly

[Lisbeth]

Thank you!  Hugs back!

We should catch up.  There's been a lot of water under the bridge.