After a long training period with my new job I haven finally gotten the time to start seeing my therapist and Doc for HRT. Today my wife and I had the talk, and I told her that I wanted to go on HRT. We have briefly spoken about my transgender issues in the past, only for that line of communication to eventually dry up to nothing.
The converstation was open minded, thank god, and while she said that she would try her hardest to be supportive of me that there would be no way that she would stay with me if I became a woman. While that was hard to take, it was better than the alternative of her screaming and yelling at me and threatening to never let me see my son again. Not that she would do that, but I imagined that as one of many possibilities. I told her about the whole HRT regimen, how I would be following up with the Doc on my progress and I related all the hardships that trangender people have to go through to attain even a somewhat "normal" life. My wife did mention that we need to at least talk about the future and how she would have to get a job in order to move out, to which I replied that there would be no rush and that her moving out is definitely not a priority for me, I would rather her stay but she has her own needs and wants that I will not be able to fulfill once the hormones kick in. She mentioned dating other people, which I will admit did hurt, but that was to be expected. I told her that I dont know if I could take seeing her bring other people home, and we agreed that that is something we will have to do when the time comes.
I see my therapist this thursday after an eight month hiatus, and I see the Doc to start HRT at the end of next month some time. While I did enjoy talking to my wife today and being honest with her, I think the euphoria of having released a burden will be taken over by the depression of what must take place in the future between me and my wife. I ask that you guys keep me in your thoughts and your prayers, because now I am one step closer to being who I am truly ment to be.
-Elena
