My Dead Sibling

[Elwood]

My brother was born in 1987. I was born in 1990. Between us, a third child (or rather second, and I was the third) was conceived. This child was aborted by my mother. Think what you will, I have no major opinion on it. The abortion isn't the point.

My mother believes, with the spiritual beliefs she has, that I am the "soul" of that aborted child, and that I "hopped" bodies. She says this because when I was very young, before I knew many sentences, I told her, "I waited for you." Now, I'm not very superstitious myself, but this got me thinking... what if that aborted child was a boy? Maybe if that aborted child was a boy, my gender would make more sense to my mom.

I don't believe in souls or "body hopping," but my mom seems to, and if that aborted child was a boy... She might actually start taking me more seriously.

[Kaitlyn]

I'm not really sure what to say... while it's good to have circumstances that might help with acceptance by your mom, I know that I personally would feel a tad uneasy in those circumstances.  I don't believe in souls either, so it feels a bit like taking unfair advantage.

Also, do you think your mom feels some guilt about the abortion?  The "body-hopping" belief seems very exculpatory.  If that's the case, I guess it comes down to whether you feel comfortable letting a one-shot justification like that work to your advantage.

[Elwood]

I don't know if it's unfair. I don't believe "the opposite," that there are absolutely no souls. I am in the state where I say, "I do not know whether or not there are souls/Gods, so I have no particular reason to believe in them."

I do think she feels guilt over the abortion and that her explanation is to help herself feel better. But I guess I am willing to take an "unfair advantage." She's stabbing me with unfair prosecution and hate. I don't see the difference, really...

Wow. Cool picture for your avatar. I like it.

[bethzerosix]

my mother had two abortions before i was born. i was her first born. i have often thought that it was possible that i was the soul from one or both of those abortions. it is part of my personal mythology .

[Elwood]

Yeah. It's an interesting thought. If it was true, and that aborted child was a boy, and is me, well... that would explain a lot in the big scheme of things...

[tekla]

Ellwood, do not listen to that.  Its very sick stuff.  Find a way out of that thought.

[Nero]

Well, I believe in souls but I doubt they can hop. Who knows though. Anyhow, if she wants to believe it, she'll believe it. I think I'd feel disturbed if it were me, but you know it's also possible this is some way she's worked out in her head of accepting your situation. She's against transpeople (from another post of yours) and maybe this is her way of giving herself the permission to accept this.

[Dennis]

Well, I believe in souls but I doubt they can hop. Who knows though. Anyhow, if she wants to believe it, she'll believe it. I think I'd feel disturbed if it were me, but you know it's also possible this is some way she's worked out in her head of accepting your situation. She's against transpeople (from another post of yours) and maybe this is her way of giving herself the permission to accept this.

I agree. It's not taking an unfair advantage. If it gives her comfort, so what. As long as it doesn't bother you.

Dennis

[Elwood]

It may be sick stuff, but this is the madness I am working with. I can't tell my mom her crack pot angel stories are fake or she'll disown my ass. And maybe that's what I need, but to loose the family I was with my whole life until 2 months ago because I'm trans is just stupid! I thought they were ->-bleeped-<-ing smarter than that.

It doesn't bug me that she has her hocus-pocus beliefs. What bugs me is when she uses them against me like she is now.

I can't disprove her stupid stories because they're "invisible" and "untouchable."

[hizmom]

i wonder if your mother is willing
to extrapolate that theory to
other TG/TS people, because if
she were to develop that point of
view, certainly she would have to
believe other souls are in gender
different bodies....

if one can believe
souls have a gender then lots of
possibilities are out there.....

sorry about the FOO being so
unaccepting of your reality....
it can be hoped that they will
come to their senses when
the rubber meets the road....

[Elwood]

Yeah. I hope so as well. Maybe after T and when I start looking like a man they'll be able to more easily accept it.

[Lokaeign]

Oh gosh.  Well, I am someone who does give credence to the idea of various invisible spiritual wossnames and the possibility of them moving from Person A to Person B.  But I find this particular idea *really* unhealthy-sounding.  Your mum needs to accept you as you.  You're perfectly fine as the young man that you are, you don't need to be a transmigrated soul or whatever to have permission to exist and be appreciated. 

[Jordan]

my mother had two abortions before i was born. i was her first born. i have often thought that it was possible that i was the soul from one or both of those abortions. it is part of my personal mythology .

Wow, Same exact situation with me....