so i must be an a**

[jonjon]

Tell me... am i complete and utter ass if i cancel on a friend because it's a torrential downpour outside, right?

I've been at work all day, i'm absolutely wet through. I get home, get changed and really cant be assed to go back out into the rain to meet a friend. So i tell her the truth and i get bolocked.

To be honest, i thought she'd understand  And that makes me an ->-bleeped-<-. Apparently.

Am i wrong? Or am i right? 

[Sephirah]

I guess it depends on what you cancelled. If it was something indoors then yeah, it might be a bit of a letdown, considering that you'd only have to endure the rain until you got there. And umbrellas can be mighty useful pieces of kit.

But if you were just going to hang out outside then... I can understand why you wouldn't want to.

How exactly did you tell her? There are ways of saying things and ways of saying things. Did you tell her that you'd been out in the rain already and got soaked through to the skin once, so you weren't too keen on going back out in it... or did you just say something like "oh, I can't be bothered because it's raining."?

[jonjon]

it was indoors. But the fact that i had to go back out in it again put me off. Yes i stated i'd already been soaked once and didn't feel like going back out in it.

I swear, if she was a bloke she would understand. And besides, she knows where i live, why dont she come see me instead?

[Sephirah]

Well if you agreed to meet her then she probably thought that it was your responsibility to uphold that promise, not hers. It may not even have been the reason that angered her, just the fact that you went back on your word. Which, if she really let you have it... probably meant that she was really looking forward to whatever you were supposed to be doing and was very disappointed when you changed your mind.

And maybe she feels that the friendship doesn't matter as much to you as it does to her if you're willing to cancel 'just' because of rain. That if you really valued the friendship, you would make the effort.

[Pica Pica]

i think it does make you an ass, but no more of an ass than me - who did the same thing - or indeed no more of an ass than most people i know.

[Laura91]

I don't think it would be a problem, and if your friend gets her panties in a bunch over this she really needs to grow up.

[Diane]

It doesn't make you an ass. It makes you a wimp.

[Osiris]

I don't get the big deal here. A lot of indoor stuff gets canceled due to weather. People have canceled things on me for the same reason, and vice versa. *shrugs*

[RebeccaFog]

I think she's the one with the problem.  I'll bet it would have been acceptable for you to say "I've had a terrible day and I'm really too tired."  I believe she is being touchy.

The first only rule about dealing with women is to never speak to them. Just stand around looking terrified and you'll do all right. Every single thing you ever say to a woman will be used to beat you over the head with. So, if you want to live to be 30 and still sane, you'd better do as I say.


Rebis

[findingreason]

It doesn't make you an ass. It makes you a wimp.

I'm inclined to agree a little. I know plenty of people like that though, so don't worry to much. But, seriously, if it isn't life-threatening weather, why would it hurt? It would show that you are more committed and responsible as a person, and it's a good trait to have.

[PolarBear]

I've had it happen to me by others, and I've canceled meetings myself when the weather was terrible. So either you are not an ass, or most people are asses from time to time.

[jonjon]

oh, i also forgot to mention this is from a friend who used to do the same thing to me many many times and let me down more often than i could rely on.

So i seriously dont know what her problem is.

[Lutin]

No mate, you're certainly not an ass/arse (in my books, anyway). These things happen all the time, and if I were meant to be going out to meet a friend when it was pi**ing down, then I would reasonably expect one of us to cancel. If I myself had already been drenched once, then I might call it off. If not, then I would go, but not be overly surprised if my friend cancelled. Umbrellas are all well and good, but not if it's torrential. The last few times I've tried to use my brolly in the rain it's been turned inside out and broken within five minutes of putting it up (seriously, I was waiting for a bus on a main road, it was pouring, it was a 30-minute wait and because of the speed of the oncoming traffic I was saturated even before my brolly broke. If I'd been going to meet a friend that day, I certainly would have cancelled!). So no, I don't think you're an arse for cancelling, and, given the weather, I don't think your friend should have been unduly surprised. A little disappointed, maybe, if they *were* really looking forward to it, but certainly not angry.

Lutin

[jonjon]

Thanks Lutin.

I think i'm now seeing that her reaction was a little over the top and she should just chill. I'll be seeing her and her gf again in a few weeks anyways when we go clubbing so it's not like they're never going to see me again... just because it rained.