Rape And Knowing One Can Kill: Survivor

[Shana A]

Rape And Knowing One Can Kill: Survivor
Posted September 25, 2008

http://radnichole.wordpress.com/2008/09/25/rape-and-knowing-one-can-kill-survivor/

I wasn't able, yet again, to write the spot I have had in mind. So I have taken an earlier writing and re-written it. Some of you will have substantially read what is here in another place. But, the essay is one that's important for me. I was a rape-victim. It was long ago now. I am no longer a victim.

Two men I'd met in a bar, a naive me just being given a ride home. The ride turned into a five-hour nightmare. It turned into beating and rape and left me ragged, bleeding and more afraid to live my life than I would ever have imagined. I was 19 and had begun to take first steps toward being the person I had always known myself to be: ME.

[tekla]

Powerful stuff.  Both for the story as well as how you got out of that place.

[NicholeW.]

Thank you, luv. From you, the highest praise.

Nikki

[tekla]

I think people - until it happens to them - don't realize how much life can change in a split second.  Though the ordeal lasted for hours, there was that one moment in which you can define all your life as having happened before and after that instant.  Though, on occasion those moments might be good, for the most part they are not.

And it worries me when I read some of the posts and think 'wow, you're not just playing with fire, you've pretty much drenched yourself with gasoline and now are pulling out the Zippo and this is not going to end well.'  I would hope that what is a tragic even to you can at least serve as a caution to others.

[NicholeW.]

It's why I wrote it, this way, and before. Cautionary tales are only as good as their audience.

And, yes, I do so very well understand the "playing with fire drenched in gasoline while pulling out the Zippo" matters you talk about as well.

One sees and hopes she can influence someone to stop doing just that. But, it doesn't always happen and you watch a life go up in flames.

Nikki

[tekla]

I often think on the Dylan lines:

Well, my baby went to Illinois with some bad-talkin' boy she could destroy
A real suicide case, but there was nothin' I could do to stop it,

and it always makes me sad.

[Nero]

can't really say anything Nikki, except I love you sis.

[NicholeW.]

I love you too, Nero. That love followed very closely my meeting you for the first time.

Nikki

Posted on: September 25, 2008, 03:08:21 PMBTW, thanks for the support guys and gals. Especially to Stealthgrrl who made a wonderful response to me personally. HUGS!

Nikki

[Stealthgrrl]

(((((((((((((((((((((Nichole))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Sephirah]

I remember when you wrote the basis of that essay in the other place, honey. And I stand by what I said then. *hugs*

[NicholeW.]

I remember when you wrote the basis of that essay in the other place, honey. And I stand by what I said then. *hugs*

Really goin' out on a limb there, Leia!!

Thank you!! So very much.

Nikki