How do you do it?

[Brittany]

I'm 22 years old and have been openly aware of the fact that I'm not actually a guy for two years now. I've only had one job before, and I got fired from it when due to depression I just quit showing up.

That was a couple years ago and I'm ready now to move on with my life and start walking the path toward financial independence. I can't do anything jobless and uninsured and living at my mom's house like I am.

I'm currently in school part-time, as that's as much as student loans will afford me, and because of that my degree is still way too far off.

Nobody will hire me because of what happened at my last job, they don't care that it's been two years and people can change and mature. How am I supposed to get off my damn feet? I can't wait until I'm 30 to transition, I think I'd go insane and kill myself sometime around 27ish!

How do you succeed in the "real world" enough to get a job, insurance, and the help you need? Even when I DID have my job, I couldn't afford a therapist. It just seems impossible. Please help me out.

[lizbeth]

I was in the same position as you. I started transitioning when I was 25 and even presented most of the time as female. don't make the same mistakes I made, I thought I could do this alone and abandoned my support network. after not even a year I was a mess, both phisically and mentally and couldn't go on any further with my transition. looking back I think it was even harder to halt my transition than not being able to start my transition when I was your age. most of my reason was financial, much like your situation.

no one is saying it will be easy, but you are so young - you have plenty of time. Worry about getting your degree right now, find a support group and then that way when you are finished with that you will be in a much better position to do it the right way.

hope that helps, we're here for you when you need us.
*Hugz*
Beth

[shaniam]

Hi Brittany,

Why would you wait until 30 to transition? I wanted to transition when I was your age, but didn't and ended up waiting another 20 years. *sigh* In a way, you're lucky in that you know what you want early in your life and have the resources and supports (e.g. the online community) to know how to get there. I'm jealous. Believe me, there was none of that arround when I was your age.

Think about the steps you can do now and try to find supports in your area, such as a counsellor or TG group. Listing where you are from on profile might assist with that. All the best with it.

-Shan

P.S. I wouldn't worry so much about the lost job. We all have some baggage in our background. Just be the new you and remember it wasn't you, that was that other guy.

[TamTam]

Do some volunteer work or get an internship to show that you can keep to a schedule and are reliable and all that. Sure it's unpaid but think of it as an investment toward a better future.   Oh, and try to get good grade, of course.  That's another sign of reliability.

[Brittany]

Thanks a lot. I guess you're right; it just hurts so bad having to spend so much time doing nothing.

I suppose what I could really use right now is a friend or two to talk to; probably why I came to this site in the first place, when I think about it. The only hard part of that is that making friends on the internet takes *forever*, so I'm at least glad someone's taking the time to respond to my questions. At least I'm getting *some* level of interaction. Thanks a bunch.

[Brittany]

I have about enough money to my name to get to school and back for the rest of the semester, never mind buying things online. And I'm still 100% in the closet and living at home with my family, so ordering something like that would be...catastrophic. And I'd probably come out of it homeless.

I should try and find some work, even volunteering or internships like was suggested. I suppose repairing my reputation is just an extra step I need to take now that I've done so much damage.

[postoplesbian]

I remember working for free to prove myself back in the 60's.. Today you may have to do the same due to hard times.. There are jobs as organic interns on farms all over the USA. You only need to get your testes removed to stop any more masculinization or buy hormones which sucks and can cost. However san fran offers them for free but then your left homeless and stuck in a tough place. Its a little late to work in northern calif as a weed trimmer they do make good money. Not sure what your studying and if its worth it. Myself i am a go get it done type of woman and well i finished in 13 months back in 98. Of course i had worked and scimped and saved for 13 yrs helping recovering addicts with safe housing.

I need facts lil sister if i am to help you. Please email me if you want my advice. I will be 10 yrs post op tomorrow but i am different than most i am basically non sexual and so i did it for identity not sexuality.

[lizbeth]

self medicating is bad mmmmkay. (although I am guilty).

[Brittany]

Well, don't think I haven't considered it before. But I made the choice not to subject myself to that, so no worries on that front.

[postoplesbian]

In San Fran before they give you hormones they always evaluate you. I would never tell someone to take them on their own. I would however tell them where they do help you to get them after they evaluate you.

[TamTam]

You won't be doing nothing. Working to make your resume look better does a lot.  A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, right?  Bettering your financial situation is a good place to start your transition.

You can't transition until you have money.  You can't have money until you get a good, well-paying job.  You can't get a good, well-paying job until you have a competitive resume.  You can't have a competitive resume until you build up your experience.  Where do you get that experience?  Volunteering and internships and a diploma.

But if you never start, nothing will change.  So while it might take a while, at least you'd be on the path.

[postoplesbian]

You won't be doing nothing. Working to make your resume look better does a lot.  A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, right?  Bettering your financial situation is a good place to start your transition.

You can't transition until you have money.  You can't have money until you get a good, well-paying job.  You can't get a good, well-paying job until you have a competitive resume.  You can't have a competitive resume until you build up your experience.  Where do you get that experience?  Volunteering and internships and a diploma.

But if you never start, nothing will change.  So while it might take a while, at least you'd be on the path.

RIGHT ON TAMTAM  and as for internships on farms please check out http://www.organicvolunteers.org/farm_finder.asp?Mode=2&host_type=8 However they may not be the best places for transitioning but you have to start somewhere

[iFindMeHere]

Another option for Volunteer opportunities: http://www.volunteermatch.org/ you can ask to be notified of volunteer opportunities that match your interests.