Am I the only one like this?

[Carolyn]

I am a fighter, more or less. I feel nothing but angry when I read, see, or hear about people being hurt (Trans or otherwise). But the only thing I can see to stop the hurt is cause hurt to the ones hurting. Thus Causing a never-ending cycle of pain and suffering, something I don't want to see. Some have said in the past (I don't remember who said it first) but to kill them with kindness, my question is this to them: If you are kind to them (Those who hurt without question regardless) and you get hurt or worse killed, what do you or others gain, nothing but pain and sadness. I am torn between two worlds in a sense. I hate to see pain, but view it as the only way to stop those who cause it to begin with. Can someone help me out here, if you know of any other paths

[HelenW]

. . . But the only thing I can see to stop the hurt is cause hurt to the ones hurting.

I think that this assumption may not be completely true and may need to be re-examined.

hugs & smiles
Emelye

[Barbara]

I am the same way,i am very high strung.I see the current state of affairs  as sickening.This ->-bleeped-<- kicker mentality that the (USA) has been adopting.If your not one of us then the hell with you.

[Snowdoggy]

I think I know what you mean Carolyn.

I am highly strung too, or so I have been told.

My partner's sister is an MTF and they have been through hell. They even had to have lock up shutters fitted on their windows when they were living in the same town I am now as they were getting bricked at night. I used to think that hurting these s***s was the answer to the equation but if it was as simple as that it probably would have been done and probably already has.

I remember an incident with a guy who used to work where I work who got beaten up in a village near where I live by "the locals" (he couldn't even open his mouth to eat), this has no TG/TS connections. So he took some "locals" from where we live and kicked their teeth in back. So they then beat him and some of his mates in. He asked one of the other guys I work with to come and help get retribution. These fights were nothing to do with anything other than the area these guys lived in. I just told them this would go on forever if either side didn't back down. I don't mean admit defeat, I mean just not getting on the bus and going down to ther next town/village to do this.

Barbara, "This ->-bleeped-<- kicker mentality that the (USA) has been adopting". What is this about? Do tell, because generally what happens in the US tends to happen here later. Unless it already has.

John

[Sephirah]

I am a fighter, more or less. I feel nothing but angry when I read, see, or hear about people being hurt (Trans or otherwise). But the only thing I can see to stop the hurt is cause hurt to the ones hurting. Thus Causing a never-ending cycle of pain and suffering, something I don't want to see. Some have said in the past (I don't remember who said it first) but to kill them with kindness, my question is this to them: If you are kind to them (Those who hurt without question regardless) and you get hurt or worse killed, what do you or others gain, nothing but pain and sadness. I am torn between two worlds in a sense. I hate to see pain, but view it as the only way to stop those who cause it to begin with. Can someone help me out here, if you know of any other paths

I think... another way is to be supportive to those who get hurt, and try to give them the strength, confidence, and belief in themselves so they are not hurt again.

If you hurt those who hurt others, you are no better than they are. Granted, your intentions may be different, but the result is the same.

You can do more good by being a friend than by being an enemy. Causing pain to others only perpetuates a vicious cycle of revenge and escalating misery. Better to break that cycle, don't focus on revenge for people you don't want to see hurt... focus instead on being there for them and trying to take the hurt away.

[cindybc]

Hi Leandra I have posted at least in half a dozen other threads a similar type of message. So I second what you have said.

Cindy

[joannatsf]

I think Leleandra is right on in her comments.  You an do more good coming to the aid of the victims of hate than by becoming a hater yourself.  If altruistic motivations aen't enough, remember that assaulting anyone is a serious crime, usually a felony.  Trans people don't do so well in jail or prison.  I have anger inside me and occaisionally want to take action but then I remember that an arrest for a violent crime would undo all the work I've done to build a good life and a career that I love.  I hope you can find a way to put the energy you burn in anger to some more productive use.

[iFindMeHere]

What about education? Teaching people to view through others' eyes (though not directly)?

[cindybc]

Hi all, This evening I have officially started my new position at the women's shelter, I am now officially a peer suport worker. Most of the girls there are North American Native and we also serve a small portion of Trans girls as well. Most all are are street workers, and some live on the street.  I consider myself a caring person and have been doing social work for the past 21 years.

But this evening I truly enjoyed my first night as PSW, getting to know all the girls. One thing that realy made me sad though, No anger, I don't think I was ever capable of anger not even in my previous life, except for maybe extreme frustration at times.

Anyway I was sitting with one of the girls talking and at times glancing at the TV. There was this Forensic show on, and I just happen to catch a reenactment of a person bludgeoning an other with a metal pipe. I had to look away as it tore at me inside just to think about it. One of the main reason I don't watch TV, unless there is no violence or aggressive behaviour involved. Well I was sitting there and had my eyes covered with my two hands as I cried. When it subsided I asked the girl sitting beside me. "What would posses people to do such violent acts?" 

I asked her not realy looking for a response. Then I turned again to her and told her about how I have sometimes seen some of the girls come in with bruises and contusions all over their bodies. She responded with one word, "pimps!" I was again wiping tears for the second time that night. What can one do about this violence? I have see enough of the results of such violence that it makes me sick to mys stomach. But yet impotent as what to do about it. Except for maybe self defence courses but they cost money. I mean like what other effective way could be put in motion for prevention of these kind of violent acts?

There are also a goodly amount of Trans girls working the street and like I said some do come to the shelter so I will most likely get the opportunity to work with them as well. 

I kind of quit the Vancouver Trans support Association. I still go to the meetings and that is mostly because the counselor and I have become pretty good friends. Other then that I truly don't think they could organise an omelet, my what's new, such is how a government operation moves.

Ok enough of that, sorry for blowing off a we bit of steam, but then this certainly appears to be the right place to do it I suppose.

You are welcome to visit my blog, Cindy's Rambling's Blog.

Cindy

[joannatsf]

I share a lot of the experiences you mentioned.  I work with men and women that suffer severe mental illness as well as substance abuse.  Many of the women have been raped multiple times.  We don't have any trans women at my clinic but I suspect they're channeled into one of several programmes the city offer specifically for our rather lage TG population.

I have also served on several committees in the community.  It seems like all we ever did was get together once a month and discuss what needed to be done but very little actually happened.  Organizing trans-folk is a lot like hearding cats!

[cindybc]

Hi  Claire hon, I couldn't agree more about organizing trans-folk is a lot like herding cats! and the government doesn't help worth a pinch of coon ->-bleeped-<- either when it comes in trying to organise any given project. But I still love working with people trans and otherwise it's just in my heart to do so, I have been doing so for most of my life, simply because I care. Even when I was on the street myself, I was always trying to help another before myself. It is part of our nature I suppose. I believe that the most wonderful reward there is, is when you actually succeed in helping someone, makes it all so worth it until the next recipient.

I still have a few friends at the Trans Support association but I have just had it trying to get things organised and off the ground, I am not much on the paper pushing stuff I am more of a hands on type of person. I also have an empaths comunity meetup I hold once a month, this is one that I also enjoy doing.

Speaking of working with recovering alcoholics, addicts and street people I have worked with for 10 years and the last ten years I worked with mental health recipients, funny I have always felt like they were family to me, especially after I came to learn each individuals character and personality.

Shortly after I came out on MHR job , some of them mostly the girls, came to trusting me and felt more comfortable talking to me then they did their own therapist or psychiatrists. I would encourage them to do so by telling them that all they needed to do was to share with their shrink or therapist the same as what they had shared with me. Anyway enough shop talk but it is nice to know I have a sister in here that understands the language. My only desire here is to share and teach what I have learned through personal experience and at times I enjoy a good sense of humor, I'm a strong believer that laughter is like an elixir to the soul, just as tears cleanses out the soul.

Have a wonderful day

Cindy