Questions

[asianrock]

Hey! I am an 18 years old male Asian and have been a crossdresser since I was 6-7 years old (well birth if you consider being placed in female clothing as an infant occasionally since I always wanted to dress up like my older 2 sisters). Lately I have been crossdressing (closeted still) on a regular basis and finally accepted that its a part of me instead of ignoring as if I were living two different lives. Now more than ever I want to become more feminine, well step by step and I have been reading into hormone replacement therapy. I have wanted to become a girl ever since I began crossdressing, but was afraid to tell my mother and father, even though my mother I knew that I was crossdressing but chose to ignore it to keep it away from my father. Now I have accepted it and want to live out my fantasy of being a girl. Do you think it is a bad idea to secretly begin hormone replacement therapy without any of my family or friends knowing? If I do choose to stop for whatever reason, but chose to continue it later on will I still have breast growth if I stopped before reaching the full genetic size? Also, I am a straight male, so I am wondering what difficulties I may have with intimate relationships if anyone has any experience with that.  How long will it take for feminine facial appearances to show, I am not worried for the rest of my body as it is already fairly feminine (I am extremely skinny, have petite bone structure, no Adam's apple shows, ect.) and how long for it to complete feminization (I am just worried because I will be going to a university in a year) Is chemical castration an inevitable event if I want to maintain a feminine body or is there some way to get around that? When can I legally be a girl like for license and such?... is that only after a gender reassignment operation? How much will HRT effect me emotionally, I am already fairly emotional atm. And any other advice or comments you can give would be appreciated.

[Sarah Dreams]

First of all, sweetheart, welcome to Susan's. You will find many answers here. Your story is more common than you think. Just look around and you will see this is true.

We are all here to help you. I have just started my journey into complete womanhood and I can tell you, that the wonderful boys and girls and others here have helped me tremendously.

Most importantly, please do not take hormones without going through a therapist and a doctor. Hormones can cause you permanent harm up to and including death. Yes DEATH. They are serious drugs and are not to be toyed with. If you cannot come out to your parents, just think what will happen when they notice that they have a new daughter. Boy will the s**t hit the fan then.

Find a therapist - a gender therapist. They can help you through this or stop you before you make a mistake that can cost you your life or your well being. You'll be much happier in the end.

Here, there is love. I hope you stay and grow with us.

Love, Sarah

[cindybc]

Hi Asianrock, welcome to Susan's. There is much information On Susan's home page where you may find many of the answeres to the questions you ask. Here is the link to Susan's home page  https://www.susans.org/ you may also want to check out Susan's Wiki at the top of the page. You will also find many other folks here who can answer many of your questions as well. One thing all will suggest before you proceed any further will be to find a gender therapist.

Have a wonderful morning

Cindy 

[almost,angie]

Now I have accepted it and want to live out my fantasy of being a girl.

I would watch out for this. We aren`t acting on fantacies when we start hormones. It`s because we are women and can`t stand the pain. Go to a gender theripist to see if it is rite for you. I say this because I care.  And welcome to susans.

[pennyjane]

absolutely angie!  if you think this is a fantasy then please, please...see a gender therapist.  you are nowhere near ready for anything of a physical nature.  slow way down...get with a good therapist and work through this.  it could be just language, we aren't very good with it in our community, but the words you use, the feeling i get from your post convinces me you need to be thinking of many other things then the physical aspects of being a woman.

you are young, please take the time to figure all this out before you find yourself in a process that just isn't right for you.  God bless with...

[asianrock]

Well it isn't a sexual fantasy or related matter if you are assuming that... maybe I used the wrong choice of words. I have a feminine personality (well the girls I have dated say so) but restrict much of it in by just acting like a wallflower in large groups and not being myself around most people. For some reason I find my life not satisfactory (even though I have dated many of the most attractive girls at my school, have many friends, have a family that is pretty well off, have excellent grades,ect.) most people say I have a nice life, but I feel like I am living a lie by not being myself.

[pennyjane]

ok, i understand...this might just be another case of inadequate language and mis-understanding.  this is one reason i think you are going to hear over and over again...see a good gender therapist before you do anything else.  virtually everyone i know who has made a successful transition did so with the help of a therapist who knew what she was doing.

"fantasy" is a word you'll find that gets under the skin of almost all transsexuals.  it's something we've had to overcome all our lives..."it's all just a fantasy" we're told.  the truth is...i think we all fantasized about living our lives as the women we believed ourselves to be, but the dream is not a fantasy.  the word too is a great big red flag for any provider who is even remotely award of what's inside of the tg umbrella world.  fantasies are for fun, dreams are for realization.  the language is ripe with mis-understanding so communicating your real feelings can be as difficult as identifying them for yourself.

so many of us, too, obsess over our appearance.  that's another thing that has to be looked into seriously and the boundaries identified. chasing that perfect look can be as unhealthy as not doing anything.  if appearance is your number one goal...it's gonna be a rough ride.  again, a good therapist can help with this.

read these forums...read who's doing well and who's suffering...emulate success and do what you can to aleviate the suffering.  find someone who is about where you want to go and find out how they got there, use that history as a roadmap...just for direction...in your own journey.  successful transition requires thinking out of the box.  you have to identify your own specific reality and find which things might work for you.  please, don't rush yourself.  set goals, stop often and re-assess where you are and don't fear moving the bar...one way or another.  it ain't over 'till it's over...and then you're dead.  enjoy it, embrace the process...it's wonderful, exciting and very fullfilling.  God bless with...