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i feel like im lying to her. >_<

Started by JonasCarminis, October 23, 2008, 11:59:40 PM

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Elwood

I'd feel like it's a lie.

The girl I like knows I'm trans. She knew me as "a girl" for 4 years. I think we might be "going out." I don't know what that means, when it's official or what, but we like each other and even though she knows I'm trans she accepts me as a guy.

I couldn't see a relationship with someone any other way. I couldn't keep this "secret." I'm actually very public about being trans. Only people who don't know are a lot of my classmates, because I don't want to be a distraction in a learning environment.
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flutter

I'm openly transitioning at work, and within my social circle, so I don't really have the same problem, but I agree with the common sentiment here, withholding information until a relationship progresses to a deeper level is just common sense.

I think your dodge of saying you have a condition is a bit misleading. I would remain silent on the matter unless it is of specific concern. While it is a true statement, it's a lie of omission, because there is a very pertinent piece of data missing, and she may feel like she was lied to when the full truth does come out.

This cat is out of the bag, the only way you can correct the situation is to out yourself, which I'm not convinced is the wisest course of action at this point. I would feel her out some more - perhaps plan a group activity with a lesbian or gay couple involved and see how she reacts?

And, in the future, I would say it's better to remain completely silent on the issue of hormones or conditions until you're ready to have the trans discussion.

It's no one else's business until it's time to get naked.
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darius82501

Quote from: flutter on October 24, 2008, 02:17:50 PM
It's no one else's business until it's time to get naked.

HAHA I love it. .that is totally quotable flutter. .
Brady

I need to invent the perfect prosthesis!
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JonasCarminis

well i talked to her.... and she already knew!!! i was like zomg... OMGWTFBBQ!!!@#2@!!2!  but shes fine with it.
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Nero

Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Lachlann

Quote from: Chet on October 24, 2008, 04:51:04 PM
well i talked to her.... and she already knew!!! i was like zomg... OMGWTFBBQ!!!@#2@!!2!  but shes fine with it.
Great to hear!

I knew things would work out fine. :)
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
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darius82501

Ya know there are great people out there. And maybe you just found one. Its nice to have those positive moments since we seem to have a lot more negative. Enjoy it then. . .
Brady

I need to invent the perfect prosthesis!
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jet3

I just read this thread, and I was going to ask if you were sure she didn't know.  Things get around schools very quick.  Then I got to the end and saw that you wrote she already knew lol im glad she was cool about it and hopefully everything goes well for you.
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JonasCarminis

yea, we have been talking a lot lately.  shes almost like a GF already minus the title.
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Jay



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iFindMeHere

Quote from: Chet on October 24, 2008, 04:51:04 PM
well i talked to her.... and she already knew!!! i was like zomg... OMGWTFBBQ!!!@#2@!!2!  but shes fine with it.

HEYYYYYYYYYY! *pumps his fists in the air and then gives Chet a big ol' hug*
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