The Most Ridiculous Excuses For Missing Work

[Constance]

So I saw this list from a "news" article, but some of these seem too ridiculous to be true. However, truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

Supposedly, these are excuses people actually used to explain why they didn't go to work

- Employee didn't want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
- Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
- Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was "all better now."
- Employee donated too much blood.
- Employee's dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
- Employee was kicked by a deer.
- Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
- Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
- Employee's wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.
- Employee's toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
- Employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.
- Employee's psychic told her to stay home.

http://www.savvysugar.com/2420302

[tekla]

Employee's wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.

Come on, that happens to all of us once in a while.

[Constance]

Employee's wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.

Come on, that happens to all of us once in a while.

Some excuse. He should've gone to work in his wife's clothes.

[tekla]

I had a boss once that would have expected it, if not insisted upon it.  He would have got up and said "See Smedwick over here, his wife burned all his clothes last night, so he put on one of her dresses and came into work today.  You should all be the kind of employee that Smedwick is.  Now get back to work."

[mickie88]

these are hilarious and sadly i know one different person who's used each one at least once!!




Warrior Princess Mickie

[Constance]

I had a boss once that would have expected it, if not insisted upon it.  He would have got up and said "See Smedwick over here, his wife burned all his clothes last night, so he put on one of her dresses and came into work today.  You should all be the kind of employee that Smedwick is.  Now get back to work."

Yeah, but, what if one's wife's clothes are tasteless? I mean, come on!

[Constance]

- Employee's dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
- Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.

Those two excuses are absolutely brilliant.   

Especially the mouthwash one. Since when does one swallow mouthwash? Isn't swallowing any amount of mouthwash too much?

[tekla]

I would never take my dog to a family reunion.  I love my dog too much.

[Jay]

Employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.

wow that is extreme..

[Shana A]

Employee's wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.

Come on, that happens to all of us once in a while.

I guess I live sheltered life Tekla, this hasn't ever happened to me....

Some excuse. He should've gone to work in his wife's clothes.

I wonder if that would've worked as an excuse for me... they totally flipped out when I said they were my clothes 

Z

[nickie]

Or, there's this one:
Employee: "hello, boss. I'm having a problem with my eyes."
Boss: "And what is that?"
Employee: "I cant see coming to work today."

I actually used this one, more than once:
Me: "Hello, boss, I'm calling in well today."
Boss: "What do you mean?"
Me: "I feel so good, I cant see coming to work and having you screw it all up."
(I have been fired from several jobs)

[Constance]

Me: "Hello, boss, I'm calling in well today."
Boss: "What do you mean?"
Me: "I feel so good, I cant see coming to work and having you screw it all up."
(I have been fired from several jobs)

Oh, that's just wonderful! Well, not the getting fired bit...