Hi.

[jaymie]

Hi everyone, been around for awhile but afraid/nervous to introduce myself. 
     I don't know where to start, but here goes i guess.  From a young age, probably around 4 or 5 (or earlier) i had feelings of wishing i was girl...i liked all things feminine, when i was really young my mom would paint my nails, i had a doll and tea set and i got to model dresses my mom would sew for my cousins  . My parents were supportive of me, and honestly i think that me being 'gender variant' was the farthest thing from their minds and i didn't push wanting to be a girl at all (i tried to do all the boy things too...i just felt more comfortable doing 'girlier' things), they just let me explore (and by painting my nails, letting me play with traditionally girl toys and having me model those dresses, i think they unwittingly nurtured my hidden feelings) ironic since i don't think they would approve of anything today...i'm pretty far in the transgender closet, and sure i'll stay that way which is upsetting but i have a good life and don't want to disturb it to much, though my girlfriend is ok with me crossdressing.  From the earliest age i even remeber 'tucking', thinking that would make me female  :lol: and wishing i would wake up a little girl... eventually as a young to late teen i would dress up in my mom 's clothes and put on make-up when no one was around, which always had me feeling shame but also felt 'right'.  All of those feelings have never fully gone away they just carry on, stronger sometimes and less others but i don't think ever completely gone. I am now in my early 30's and find that to this day, i do think about what it would be like to be a woman alot (even deciding on the name Jaymie)...thing is i don't know if it's a want or a curiosity or what and i certainly wouldn't want to throw everything away just to explore a curiostiy.....
     I guess it's just nice to come to a place where people understand, i won't be judged and i can be who at least part of me, has always wished i could be...thanks to any and all who listen. 

[sarahb]

Well, I know it sounds cliche as you said you've been lurking for awhile and probably know what I'm about to say, but a gender therapist may be able to help you sort out your feelings and help you figure out how far you really want/need to go with this. To me it sounds like you have had these feelings your entire life, and from my experience, they won't go away...and will most likely only get worse.

If your girlfriend is comfortable with you crossdressing then I would start with that. Maybe you can start engaging that avenue more often and even take a weekend totally en femme (if even only in your own home) and see how you feel about it. If it's just a curiosity than that may help you define it as either just crossdressing, or if you really are a girl. There are a lot of things you can do to explore these feelings without having to jeapordize your current life. Crossdressing in your home is one, like I said, growing your hair out and shaving, along with other temporary body modifications to allow yourself to imagine yourself as a girl more easily. All these things may spark the fire that leads to your realization that transition is a necessary path, or it may also quell any "curiosity" this may be.

Anyways, welcome to the site! I'm sure you'll find this site and its members are very passionate and helpful, and always understanding (well, almost always ).

Take care,
Sarah

[Janet_Girl]

Hi jaymie,

Welcome to our little family. Over  1100 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers.  Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now.  And it is always nice to have another sister.

Janet

[Vicky]

Whatever you may think you are, there are always places to start.  I thought I was only a crossdresser until I had done that for a number of years.  Now I find myself sure that I need to move along the spectrum.  I do not regret having had a crossdressing period in my development and look at it as training wheels on a small kids bicycle that has now turned into a long distance racing bike that I can ride without hands.  Some people I know are afraid of the Guy In Dress image of crossdressing, but if thats what you look like at first, its not what you have to stay at.  There are places where that is the theme, and you don't have to worry about safety there.  Other places that are fun are some of the TG friendly shops in your area where you can get a makeover.  Seeing how you look as a girl with a professional make-up job can be a clincher.

I'm new here too but it does look like a fun place. 

[tinkerbell]

Hello Jaymie and welcome to Susan's! 

Thanks so much for introducing yourself.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay! 

tink

[Kaitlyn]

Hi!   

[cc43]

Hi Jaymie, I know exactly how you feel, I feel the same sometime's. Thinking back to my childhood I can remember many many time's that I dressed up in women's clothes and how it made me feel. I do remember one time when I was very young and was visiting my aunt's house, my clothe's had to be washed and there was nothing for me to wear except my cousin's clothe's who of course was a girl. my aunt dressed me and I sat around watching tv with the family dressed in girls clothes, I can still vividly remember how good it felt and I believe this was my first time. over the years I have done it too many times to count. I'm now 46 years old and married to a wonderful woman, I dress in clothes that would best be described as gender neutral? I wear womens tennis shoes and jeans in public and I love wearing oversized sweatshirt's but  My body type is not readily conducive to girly girl clothing as I am big in stature and quite muscular although I can and do successfully wear makeup even if it is just around the house. My wife is bi-sexual and very much encourages my feminine side, she insist's I'm a natural born lesbian LOL. The hardest part for me was excepting myself for who I am and not what everyone thought I should be. 

[funnygrl]

welcome Jaymie!!!

[jaymie]

Thanks everyone for your replies and advice and sharing your stories.  Sorry to just be dropping a line now but i was on vacation for the last couple weeks.  I'm looking forward to become another active member and really appreciate having the opportunity have a place to come for friendship and advice from a great bunch of people who have an idea of how i feel.