Uh-oh...dysphoria explosion.

[gravitysrainbow]

So I got an awesome haircut on Thursday (I keep getting called 'buddy' and 'sir'...it's great!), and on Friday morning I left Nashville and flew to Burlington, VT. It was amazing, and my weekend was amazing. I finally got to meet in person the two guys who were instrumental in helping me sort out my gender identity, and they were exactly how I expected them to be (I've known them for 3 years, but time and money had kept us apart). They respected me entirely, and I felt SO comfortable. Thing is...1) I wore my Underworks binder until a couple minutes ago and it didn't hurt until I took it off (now I'm nauseous and coughing), 2) I am extremely dysphoric about my chest rightnow because I was able to ignore it for so long, 3) Tennessee now seems like even more epic fail than before and 4) I'm in love with one of the guys I hung out with this weekend, and I miss him terribly. I only got about five hours with him, and only ten minutes alone. So...heartsick, nauseous and dysphoric do not go well together. This sucks.

[Jay]

Dude, I know how you feel about the breast issue.

Does the other guy know that you like him? Was this the first meeting in 3 years?

You need to post some pics of that hairdo bud!

*Big Bear Hug*

[gravitysrainbow]

Thankyou for the hug! Yeah, this was the first meeting, but it confirmed for me that he's exactly the same in person as he is online. We'd previously talked about our feelings (he's said he loves me, and I've told him the same, though we rarely talk about that), and he knows I still feel pretty strongly for him after this weekend. Neither of us has used the L word again, though. But we've only spoken once or twice since I got home. I would never ask him for a long-distance relationship, but I'm thinking of moving to VT. It'd be better for my mental health on so many levels.

[NicholeW.]

I've found the northeast much healthier than TN in a number of ways: climate (at least summer-length, it doesn't run March to October) and attitudes for the most part.

Nashville was easier-going in a lot of ways, but the truth is I'd rather hear "frigg off and die" than "o, it's so nice to see you" and then when they are outta earshot say "I hate that bimbo with a passiona s deep as the ocean."

Diff'rent strokes I guess, but a little more straight-forward ain't a bad thing at all.

Nikki

[tekla]

Oh honey, that's a darling outfit, did y'all make it yourself?

[gravitysrainbow]

I've found the northeast much healthier than TN in a number of ways: climate (at least summer-length, it doesn't run March to October) and attitudes for the most part.

Nashville was easier-going in a lot of ways, but the truth is I'd rather hear "frigg off and die" than "o, it's so nice to see you" and then when they are outta earshot say "I hate that bimbo with a passiona s deep as the ocean."

Diff'rent strokes I guess, but a little more straight-forward ain't a bad thing at all.

Nikki

Those are definitely things I've thought of...I also think I'd be a lot better off getting my education there. I planned on moving there anyway once I finished college, so why not start making connections before I start my career? I want to be a teacher, and it'd probably be better to do my student teaching at a school where I might be able to work someday.

Oh honey, that's a darling outfit, did y'all make it yourself?

Haha, yeah...sounds about right.

Also, here's my new haircut:




It got me called "sir" at the airport by all the TSA people, even the guy who had just looked at my ID, which had a much longer-haired picture of me, and female name and gender marker. Also, people like to call me "buddy" now. I love it.

[Dennis]

You have a very masculine face, Grav. No wonder ppl call you sir.

Dennis

[JonasCarminis]

woah.... yea, that haircut is a winner for sure.

[tekla]

Haircut good,
devil horns poser

[iFindMeHere]

OMG HOTNESS