Any minute now

[kae m]

Literally.  I'm sitting in a cafe waiting for my mom to meet me here to talk about a number of things, including "by the way, mom, I'm a transexual..."  I think my stomach may actually jump out and run for the door.

Just crossing my fingers that all will go well.

[sarahb]

Well, good luck. I hope she takes it well. Make sure to update us on how it goes.

[trapthavok]

Aw I'm crossing my fingers for you too. Let us know how it went!!

[kae m]

Things seemed to go mostly well. She said she didn't really know much about it, and well who does at first?  She told me she loves me, no matter who, what, or how I am.  Really that was the best outcome I could have hoped for.  Because she works directly with students at a university I thought she might have had some exposure, but I guess not.

Anyway, that was terrifying and relieving at the same time.  And now I'm past it


She had fewer questions than I thought she would, so that's a little weird.  I didn't expect her to turn her back on me, but I was prepared for her to refuse to believe me.  I was bracing for a "this is just because you're going through a hard time right now" reaction, but that didn't come up thankfully.
One thing she did ask that I didn't really have much of an answer for was "are there any support groups for parents?"  I told her there was PFLAG, but I have no idea what they have in our area or if they even have anything dealing with trans-issues (I've seen only limited resources on their national website).  I suppose I should have thought about that more than I did...still I'm not sure I would have found much more than I already knew about.

Next up, and probably somewhat soon, telling my dad.  That's going to be the scary one.

[vanna]

Ahh telling a dad i remember that well i just so wish i had ducked that punch but i digress!!

Thats really really brave of you hunny they say it takes time for it to sink in with the people around you and most wont even appreciate its nuiances or implications if you do plan to transition ofcourse. I guess keeping the info stream small but steady is good and getting your mum involved too and you seem like you have understanding parents so i really hope it works out fine

[PolarBear]

You did a really brave thing. I'm glad your mom handled it so well.
Good luck with your dad, I'm sure it will be difficult but at least you know you have your mom somewhat on your side.

[Janet_Girl]

One thing she did ask that I didn't really have much of an answer for was "are there any support groups for parents?"  I told her there was PFLAG, but I have no idea what they have in our area or if they even have anything dealing with trans-issues (I've seen only limited resources on their national website).  I suppose I should have thought about that more than I did...still I'm not sure I would have found much more than I already knew about.

If she is into computers, have her join the Significant Others here in the forum.  Hizmom is and I imagine there are others too.

Best of luck with Dear Old Dad. 

[sneakersjay]

Way to go, Kelly!!

PFLAG Hartford is supposed to have a good trans group.  I've been meaning to go myself to check it out and then maybe drag my own mother.

There is also a good book written by friends and family of transfolk that I gave my mom but the name escapes me a the moment (too much work!)


Jay

[Ms Bev]

In general, it's always a crap shoot.  You never know how someone is going to take the news, just as you didn't know how your mom would react.  The fact that your mom reacted in a non-negative way is worth something, but the fact she loves you no matter what is just.......wonderful. 
I didn't have to tell a parent, as my mom and dad passed away more than a decade ago, and we're not telling my spouse's mother.  She's in a nursing home, has Alzheimer's, and the last thing she needs is information she can't process, or handle.
Our kids and grandchildren live with us.  When I told Marcy, she was totally supportive, knew I had a soft female side, but had no idea I was trans.
When we told the kids, they said they already kinda knew, saw some differences, and was giving me time.  The grandchildren were told by their mom and dad, and they're fine.  The last couple years I've been their other grandmother, Nanna.

Someone stop me from rambling!

Bottom line:  my opinion is to let your mom tell your dad, then talk to him and answer his questions when he is ready.  If that is too long a time, then approach him.  Whatever happens, I'll bet your mom breaks the news to him herself anyway.  That's how parents operate.

I wish the best for you




Bev