To get back onto the topic here, I've found that being androgynous works well for me. I just am what I am, and I let people form their own opinions as to what that is. It's true that attitude has a lot to do with that. I get mistaken for fem a lot more often when I'm acting kinda girly. Funny looks from people I usually just respond with a smile. Sometimes I get a smile back, sometimes the other person just shakes their head and walks away. Oh well.
I'm a lot happier now than I was when I was a macho man with a big bushy beard because I was so afraid that someone would figure out how I really felt.