Online Dating??

[Icephoenyx]

I know some of us have tried it, but is it generally a good idea for transfolk to date online? There are quite a few trans-dating websites out there, but they don't seem to be that great, more or less just people wanting some kinky tail.

On the other hand, it may be a good way to meet people you otherwise wouldn't know. It's not like you would be able to spot the transfriendly bachelor(ettes) if you saw them walking down the street.

But its hard to meet transfriendly people. Of course, there is the GLBT community, but if you're a straight mtf like me, there probably won't be much for you there. I've been tempting to go on some dating sites, but I don't know if its worth it....any thoughts??

Chrissi

[Vexing]

In my experience: no.
Even when I was running around as a straight guy, online dating was nothing but woe.
Other people's experiences may differ - but should I end up single again in the future, dating sites will not be on the menu.

[Kate]

I've been tempting to go on some dating sites, but I don't know if its worth it....any thoughts??

Try it and see?

I haven't tried to actually date anyone I've talked with on the site I'm on, but I've made some nice friends. But I WOULD meet and date some of them, were the dating option to me. It's kinda nice to be able to get to know someone a bit first. I'm still torn about whether I'd tell them about my past first or not though.

~Kate~

[shaniam]

I've met quite a few people off online dating sites, both male and female. However, most of it was just social contacts because I was part of the scene (said with cryptic tone). That's generally been my approach, to make friends through these sites and if it turns into something more, great. But if not, well then at least you've made a friend.

I am currently engaged to someone I met online. We get married next year.

-Shannon

[SakuraPrincess]

just try it.
i met plent of guys my age online who live very close to me =p
straight guys. and they have no problem with me being transgender.
just be open and honest about it, and the best time to tell a potential lover would probably be in the beginning.
well  it always works out for me...but idk if it'll work out for everyone. >.<

[icontact]

I generally scoff at dating sites, but for some -gestures to posters above- it works. I wouldn't recommend it though, but if you do, just be careful, don't forget to bring a wingman [or winglady I spose] the first time you meet up with someone you've only met online.

[ambientdischord]

It worked pretty well for me.  I was up front and honest about myself, without telling people things that would lead them to identify me offline until I was ready for them to.  I didn't end up staying with any of the people, but had I been on the site longer, I probably would have found at least one or two people I'd want to be with.  Keep in mind I typically go for girls, and this was from a "straight" dating site...

[tekla]

I don't think its any better or worse than other methods of meeting people.

[soldierjane]

It depends on the person, I think. I've dated guys I met online several times both knowing and not knowing my being trans and I've had no problems.
As long as one has a good spider-sense, friends to ask for advice and is careful, everything should be ok.
Not being a bar-going kind of person, I find knowing someone more intimately (ie their opinions, their beliefs, etc.) before dating to be most useful in selecting someone who I'll want to date.

There is, of course, the whole physicality of meeting someone offline and the situations which lead to knowing each other which of course can't be replicated online. Like a guy asking you to dance

[Steph]

I've used it quite often in fact that's where I met my last boy friend, and we lasted 9 months.  You just need to keep your wits about you and be sure that you are safe, take precautions.  For example when I would agree to meet a gentleman for the first time it was always in a public place and I would leave the information on the place I was going with a close friend along with instructions that to phone me on my cell phone at a certain time to see if I was okay.

It works for some and not for others.

Steph

[Ellieka]

I have to admit that dating sites for me used to be a big no-no... Until I met Emme. I was working late one night setting up a new companies data network and I was feeling extremely alone. I got the internet connection going and hit a popular internet search and social website to test the connection. I saw a link on the page for their dating service. I thought, "ah what the heck" and subscribed. With in three months I met Emme face to face and we have hardly spent a day apart since then. We've been married for going on two years and together three. I'd call that a success. Now granted I didn't disclose the full extent of my GID to her until this year but she's just awesome and has stuck with me.