Hair, silly thing to get upset over...

[Kara Lee]

Ok, so here I am, my hair growing out since last fall and I am getting upset over it.  It isn't because it looks bad, heck this is the first year I have ever gotten compliments on it.  It is sort of funny really, when I'm not to upset.  My problem is that my hair seems to be transitioning much faster than the rest of me and I am not really prepared for that.  All that seems to be happening is that people are starting to think I am a gay guy with feminine hair and that is really not what I want to be seen as.
This Thursday I am getting it trimmed for the second time this year and it will be very close to how I want to have it, ppl already are saying it looks quite feminine just growing out from the normal guys haircut I used to have.  The problem is that nothing else about me is even close and I am wanting to cut it all short again because of this and that is quite upsetting to me.  It seems like such a small thing to be bothered by but I don't want to go back to what I was in any way and I see cutting it as doing that.  I'm thinking that the idea of cutting it back just represents cutting the efforts I've put in this year to be more myself.

I'm thinking I should just accept all this as steps into the land of the twilight zone.
"Here is a person on a journey, a journey of self-discovery.  Her views of herself are leading her down one path and how others view 'him' are following another.  Where these two paths cross is well within the Twilight Zone."

I have decided not to cut my hair and get it cut nicely and just let others think what they want, they'll do what they want anyway.

Anybody else ever get upset over unexpected and apparently minor stuff?

[Janet_Girl]

Kara,
There isn't a girl on the planet that doesn't hate her hair at one time or another.  And growing out is the worst.  It takes to long and you get to that inbetween time that is murder.

Just try to move on and play with the length you have.

[Dana_W]

I've been growing out my hair for about a while now, and always hate the idea of getting it trimmed because there are so many things I'd like to try with it that only work if I have enough hair. So I relate to the trimming trauma. On the other hand, you need to keep the split ends under control and the shape flattering whether you're in guy or girl mode. So there's that to think about.

Anyway, I've mostly just brushed off the comments about my hair when in guy mode. I found that once it got long enough to pull back into a ponytail not many people really noticed any more.

My issue has been clothes. I hate putting on feminine clothes over a body that still looks WAY too masculine to me. I feel like a fool, and an ugly one at that. But there will come a day when I'm ready, and at that time I don't think I'll have several thousand dollars in spare cash to blow on a new wardrobe. Besides, I need actual practice going out and trying to pass well before I'm "perfect" in my mind.

So in a way, yes, I can relate to getting all upset about minor stuff. I try to keep my thoughts on the long term whenever that stuff tries to bring me down. That seems to help.

[Kara Lee]

 , Right now it is just long enough to get about 85% of it in a short 2-3 inch "tail".  What is in front of the ears and my bangs are what are still to short to get there and if I let them fall free they really make a feminine statement that I really like, just on a masculine looking person, even pinning all that back it all looks feminine.  I especially like the way the sides sort of frame my face and make it look thinner.  Today is a good day and I'm just glad that something about me is telling the world I'm female 

[tekla]

Funny, most of the gay guys I know hate long hair, and love buzz cuts.

[cindybc]

Hi  Kara Lee hon, let it grow, it's no body else's business how you wish to wear your hair, it's your hair. I am one of those old hippies and in my teens I had it down to butt length. Sure I got razed about it but I was determined it was my hair and I wanted it long and they could all go screw themselves. I was never a mean person but I was stubborn and would do the opposite deliberately of what people tried to tell me what I *had* do. So a statement like what  Kiera said I was no stranger to. Anyway to tell the entire story would take to long, I can only say that my years living as a hippy were quite memorable.  Even up to 13 years before I started transitioning I had let my hair grow, it was shoulder length when I started and now it is a little bit past mid back 9 years later 

Who Really Cares? Why get Upset? lol Been called a "biker", a "hippie", a "pirate", a "gay", a . . . oh? "girl" eh? lol Have found ALL PERCEPTIONS are solely based depending on who your talking to anyway so

Anyway back to the order of business, Have you started HRT yet? If so How long? And when do you plan on coming out full time? I would say if you are early in HRT then you may want to keep the hair trimmed just so lightly like just an inch off the ends and wait until you can begin to see the results of the HRT then let your hair grow again.

Cindy

[Kara Lee]

lol, reading my first post really reminds me why I need to preview my posts more often.  "I have decided not to cut my hair and get it cut nicely"  should have been I have decided not to cut my hair short and just get it trimmed nicely.

cindy, yea, I've been on hrt since January, injections (much better for myself) since August.  It has just been a real slow process for me in most areas with that.  I've just been myself to people, I go by my middle name now almost everywhere.  That is how it will always be.  I already dress how I always will, jeans and t shirts and collared shirts...just need to buy slightly more feminine ones as I have the money to spare.

[cindybc]

Hi Kara Lee hon, Like Edd Sullivan use to say, "Jolly big shew." You be your own person and don't let no one bulldoze you over, Walk your talk or strut your stuff of just plain be the lady you always wanted to be, walk tall and proud with your back curved and a little swish of the hair where ever you go, like you belong there just as much as anyone else does. Smile and even nod slightly at anyone who happens to be looking your way. Just be you hon. Personality and attitude is about 2/3 of the name of the game in this business. "Oh my!" I always talk to much don't I.

Cindy   

[Kara Lee]

awww, cindy, there is always time to hear (ok, read ) talk like that.

[Ms Bev]

Why not go to a salon, and get a nice, feminine trim?  You're going to be a woman for a verrry long time.


Bev

[Kara Lee]

Bev, I got me a picture to take with me so the person I see knows exactly the type of cut I'm wanting.  It might take a few more months to get it all to grow enough to satisfy me but it will be much closer after tomorrow.

[ilikepotatoes]

All that seems to be happening is that people are starting to think I am a gay guy with feminine hair and that is really not what I want to be seen as.

I've been getting that same vibe from people all year. I've been growing my  hair out for a year and a half. I am going to start hormones after the holidays, so I still go out in boy clothes most of the time. I get called female pronouns or ma'am sometimes, which is awesome. But it's no big deal to me being thought of as a gay boy. Other than stupid teenagers calling me a ->-bleeped-<- a few times, I've gotten some nice little bits of solidarity from lesbians. The way I look at it is, I want other woman to be comfortable with me as a woman, and hell, women are more comfortable with gay men than straight men.

[cindybc]

Hi Kara Lee, I might be 62 years old but I ain't dead yet. Long way from it, I still have lots of life and living in me yet. I enjoy every second of life and I believe that being a girl in the last half of it is probably the best gift I could have ever got from Great Spirit.

I take pride in who I am, I like to show off just like any other girl, although knee length summer dresses and putting a bit of a sway to my stride and swishing the hair begets the attention of the more mature gentlemen, hey If I can get the attention of men still at my age I believe that's a major accomplishment, wouldn't you? Cindy slaps herself on the cheek saying, "Bad girl!!!"

But truly, I don't understand why other ladies my age act like they have one foot on a banana peel and the other on a step stool in their grave.

Cindy   

[Kelsey]

All that seems to be happening is that people are starting to think I am a gay guy with feminine hair and that is really not what I want to be seen as.

I've been getting that same vibe from people all year.

That makes 3 of us. I have long hair and have had it, but just keep on sayings its naturally feminine, and I get the occasional ->-bleeped-<- thing too, but if they have to say it then they are immature.

[Kara Lee]

It has helped that since I decided not to cut it that a couple ladies at work asked me how I get my hair looking nice and shiny.  I said I just wash it and throw a conditioner on once in a while, nothing out of the ordinary.  I told one that I almost cut it recently and she said I can't do that, it looks to nice,  .
I'm very glad that I've gotten over worrying about it.

[Hypatia]

I don't get it. Why not just enjoy having long hair? I had long hair below my shoulders for years before I even came out to myself. And I loved it and did not care in the slightest what anyone else thought about it. Yeah, people called me gay behind my back, but so what? I am gay--I like women.

You have a right to wear your hair any length you please, and it's no one else's business.

And consider also that you'll want to give your hair a while to grow out before it's showtime. Otherwise, would you want to try passing as a woman with short manly hair? Why make it harder on yourself than it needs to be?

[cindybc]

I have had my hair this long since the late 80's



Cindy

[Kelsey]

wow thats long
Also see you were posting on these forums as the picture was taken, nice.

[Pariah]

You lucky, lucky people! 

My hair is short. The hair in the front of my head just reaches the tip of my nose. In front of my ears, it comes just below the jawline. And the back barely reaches the base of my neck. (I'm a little like Marth-look up the name in google under "SSBB-Marth")

Sad thing is, I ALWAYS hate my hair. I have crazy black guy hair that I can't make obey me. See smiley --->

You shoud be jumping for joy.

[cindybc]

There is a method for straightening Afro type hair, Comes out much longer after it is straightened. Check hair salons that does relaxing perms. Especially black run hair salons where they specialize in this type of procedure..

Cindy