I'm not going to lie, I'm a bisexual female. I don't quite understand TG, when I was a kid I would always pretend to be male. And I was absolutley offended when somoen thought that I would want to be a girl and a mother or play with dolls. But I think I'm a girl. But when I look at strong men (not bodybuilders) I don't only wish to have a relationship, sexual or emotional I think that I want to be them. I wish I had a man's muscles. I don't know where admiration starts and attraction begins. The other thing is and here I ask for the respect that you would ask from me that I see myself as something not human. I'm not a furry. I am what you would call a 'were' like a 'werewolf' specifically. As a child I saw myself as a wolf and my self image is that of a wolf and here is where I think I understand you, sometimes when I look in the mirror I don't see me. I can't imagine not seeing yourself. And although I sometimes genuinely want a penis I can't imagine not having a vagina, I don't know if I am a creature with a vagina or I have accepted having one.
Ultimately I sometimes feel like TG is about attaching too much value traditional gender roles, because I have seen a number of TG persons on television and they said that they knew they were the opposite gender because they wanted to play baseball or cook. I love cooking and baseball. I really hate gender because I think that it is restrictive and irrelavent. And I will discuss this at length but if being TG is about not seeing you, I really empathize and not because of the wolf thing but because people give you all so much ->-bleeped-<- for wanting to be you, but I don't think I understand. Please educate me, or point me to where I can learn. I remember making friends with a bi girl that told me that she and her boyfriend did this and that and that he was hot, so I showed her a picture of Kratos from God of War and she said, "No, cause my boy friend is a girl." And I asked what she meant, and she said that he was a transgender person with a vagina and I rememder referring to her boyfriend ever after as 'he' and her 'boyfriend' and I was laughed at. It took me MONTHS to figure out why and only because someone helped me that they knew that her boyfriend has a vagina. Oye. I'm derailing I know, but I just mean to say that as the sexuality that is traditionally thought of as false and trendy I get that other people look at you in ways they shouldn't. But I don't quite understand. Teach me.
